So Much
by WriterMegg
Summary: Bella has had a crush on her twin brothers' best friend for what has seemed like forever. What happens when he becomes her greatest supporter after she receives life altering horrible news? Are they destined to be 'just' friends? M 4 Lang/possible lemon
1. Coming Undone

AN- Okay so this is my first time writing anything at all. I have had this story in my head for months; I figured I would see how it goes.

I have to say that if it wasn't for two of the best friends a girl could have I would have never even dreamed of actually writing anything let alone post something. So Brittan and Jericho Thank you for giving me that push I so often need.

SparklingWand thanks for helping me find the best Beta. Angel you are amazing. Thank you for taking time to help me with this.

Disclaimer: I own Nothing wish i did but i don't. SMeyer owns Twilight.

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Chapter 1 - Coming Undone

I was outside the school waiting for Rose and Alice, when I saw him. He was talking with Jasper, and running his hand through his marvelous bronze colored hair. I was trying not to stare like I always did whenever I saw him, but as usual I couldn't get my brain to make my eyes move.

He looked at me and smiled the most beautiful crooked smile. I immediately wondered who was standing behind me because he couldn't have been smiling at me. I turned and looked behind me. There was no one there. I turned back around to find Edward freaking Masen right in front of me. I must have looked ridiculous just gawking at him. I couldn't help staring into those astonishing green eyes. I looked away blushing; my cheeks were on fire.

"Hi," he said with what sounded like amusement.

Still looking at the wall, I said, "Hey._" _My voice was so soft; I didn't think he could hear me.

"Bella_, _what are you doing Friday night?"

I looked back at him in complete shock.

"_Me!" _I squeaked, a little too loudly.

"_Yes. You." _He was smiling that damn smile again. The one that makes my insides turn to goo, not to mention what it did to other parts of my anatomy. I just stood there staring at him for what felt like forever trying not to say something ridiculous in my incoherent state.

"_Um... I...Ah...don't know yet?" _It came out like a question. I mentally slapped myself for sounding like an idiot.

"Well…" He was rubbing the back of his neck and he looked… nervous? No, he couldn't have been nervous talking to me? "Maybe you could… only if you want to of course… umm, you could go to Jasper's party with me."

Oh my gosh! He _was_ nervous, and he'd just asked me out!

"_Well…" _I had begun formulating my answer but I couldn't concentrate because of the loud music I was hearing. Just then I was blasted awake by Korn's _Coming Undone_.

_Wait, I'm coming undone._

_Irate, I'm coming undone__._

_Too late, I'm coming undone._

_What looks so strong so delicate?_

I shot up and look around. Yep, I'm in my room. "Shit! It was a damn dream again," I muttered, hitting the snooze button on my alarm. I lie back down staring at the ceiling.

Of course it was a dream. Again. There was no way that Edward, with his deep green eyes and prefect smile and hair would even think of asking me to go to a party with him. I should have known. I had been having a variation of the same dream for weeks. The setting was always different, but the conversation was the same, and I never get to tell him my answer, which would have been yes, of course.

I have had what one could only have had classified as a crush for a very long time. Maybe it should rather be classified as crush on steroids, perhaps? It was more like an obsession with Edward Masen. He was always there in some part of my mind. I had thought that I was done with obsessing when we'd moved back though.

About four years ago Mom and Dad told Emmett, my big brother by one minute, and me that they were getting divorced. It really wasn't that big of a shock. We'd both known that they weren't happy anymore. What was a shock though was that Mom was moving and taking Em and me with her to Chicago. To say that I was a little pissed would've been the understatement of the year, and Emmett was even angrier about it than I was.

We both tried to argue our way into staying in Forks. We had lived here our entire lives up until then. Everything we'd known and loved was here. We tried but it was a no go. We moved a couple weeks later. Apparently, Mom was in a damn hurry to get out of, as she put it, 'this god damn hell hole'.

Em and I had to say hasty goodbyes to Dad and everyone we'd ever cared about. Rosalie and Alice were the hardest for me after to Dad. There were also Edward and Jasper who had to be hard for Emmett to part with. We'd all grown up together. I was just grateful my brother was coming with me. If I hadn't had Emmett, I don't know what I would have done.

A little over a year ago, Mom met and married Phil. He was too young for her, but he was nice enough. It all happened so fast. Emmett and I decided that we were going to tell her we were going back to Forks. It was just too weird being around them all the time with their ridiculous kissing and fondling. I mean, did they have to do that shit on the kitchen table. Gross

I also really missed my dad. What can I say? I'm a Daddy's girl.

To our surprise she didn't put up a fight, which made everything much easier.

Shortly after we got back I started constantly thinking about Edward. I just couldn't get him out of my mind. I had stopped obsessing while in Chicago, but now I couldn't stop thinking about him and the things I wanted to do to him…

My alarm went off again, shaking me out of my less than angelic thoughts. I got up and went into my bathroom and turned on the shower letting the steam fill the room while I put my iPod in the base and turning it up as loud as it would go. I got in and let Muse and the hot water wake me up.

_I think I'm drowning_

_Asphyxiated_

_I want to break the spell_

_That you've created_

_You're something beautiful_

_A contradiction_

_I wanna play the game_

_I want the friction_

I started thinking about Edward again. His deep green eyes. His wonderful lips with that sexy viper bite on the left side of his mouth. Once the water ran cold, I got out, and I went through my normal routine, which wasn't much. My style was simple. I pulled on an old pair of jeans, a T-shirt and my Chucks, and dried my hair. Doing anything else would have been pointless because as soon as Rose and Alice got here they would attack me.

It happened every morning. Rose would come in and tell me to sit down and start on my makeup. Then Alice would start on my hair. Resistance was futile. It wasn't as if I couldn't do it myself but I really didn't want to. I'm a simple girl. A ponytail and some mascara worked fine for me.

As usual they came in and started. Alice was curling my hair and started to complain about my outfit, but I put my hand up to stop her.

"No, you know the deal. You guys can do whatever you like with my face and hair, but I pick the clothes." I tried to add authority to my voice, but I don't think it worked. There was no way they were going to dress me though. I would have ended up in a dress and heels and that would've been way too hazardous, not only for me but everyone around me. She didn't push.

"Fine," she conceded. Once they were done, I checked the mirror. My dark brown hair was curled at the ends, and I had just the right amount of make-up on. I had to give it to them. They knew what they were doing. Miracle workers, that's what they were.

We were getting into Alice's car when Rose asked me, "So Bella, are you every going to grow a pair and just ask him out for coffee or something?"

"Who?" I tried to play dumb, but I knew who. It didn't work. My face was an open book.

"Bella, you know damn well who I'm talking about," she said in a slight snarl.

"Maybe I will, as soon as YOUgrow a pair and ask Emmett out." I said in a nonchalant tone.

"Whatever Bella." Rose sighed. I knew that would get her off my back for at least a little while.

Rose has had a thing for my brother for as long as I can remember. She refuses to ask him out and she refuses to explain why, I think she's waiting for him to ask her. My brother is just too blind; he can't see what is right in front of him. Rose is beautiful, long dark brown hair and bright blue eyes and a prefect body. She is not shy at all; to say she's blunt would be an understatement

Rose could also be rather intimidating if she needed to be. Just ask Mike Newton. He came up behind her in freshmen year and grabbed her ass. He said something like 'Hey Baby'. Rose turned around and leaned really close and kneed him right in his junk. Then she added "I'm no body's fucking _baby_." It was fucking priceless. No one really ever approached her after that. That is how she prefers it. She says that if she wanted a man she'd get one. I think she is holding out for Em.

"Rose it's just not that simple. He thinks of me as Emmett's sister, nothing more." I sighed "And besides that isn't Edward dating Lauren." I shuddered. Lauren Mallory, blonde, big boobs, fake ass tan, and on top of that she was dumber than a box of rocks.

"Bella…" she trailed off sounding frustrated.

"You know, Bella, I don't see why you're making such a big deal about this. Edward is really easy to talk to," Alice said, sounding irritated.

I knew she was right but he was her brother. It wasn't that easy for me. Actually, Edward wasn't technically her brother. He was her cousin. His parents died when his was a baby, so Alice's parents adopted him. Alice's mom, Esme, was Edward's dad's sister.

"Alice, he is your brother. Of course it is easy for you to talk to him. I can't ever just talk to him without looking stupid," I said exasperated. "And besides he's dating Lauren."

I couldn't even get past "Hey" without stuttering. The strange thing was that it only happened with him. I could talk to any other guy without any problems. With Edward though, my mind started to go to places it really shouldn't and then I had to start thinking harder so those things wouldn't come out of my mouth.

Oh the things I want to do to that boy.

Damn it! There I go again.

"Bella, are you listening?" Alice asked, shaking me out of my wayward thoughts.

We were at school already. Alice drove incredibility to fast.

"Umm… sorry what were you saying?"

Rose started laughing. She saw right through me. "Having one of those day dreams again, Bells?"

"No!" I replied too defensively and a little too fast.

"Yeah ok… So, what Ali was saying is that she is dragging us to Port Angeles after school to force us into prom dress shopping."

I sighed. I knew this was coming. Prom was only a few weeks away, and Alice was forcing the whole group to go to prom. None of us really wanted to go, especially me. She had said something about it being a rite of passage or some shit like that.

It was easy for Alice to be excited, she had Jasper. I'm pretty sure Edward was taking the bimbo. Rose and I didn't have anyone to go with so we were going with each other. Fun. Neither one of us were particularly keyed up about it. What we'd learnt quickly was when Alice wanted something, she got it.

"I was thinking we could have the guys meet us for dinner after," she said off hand.

I knew what she was doing; she was always trying to get me in situations where I would be forced to talk to Edward.

"Alice!" I whined "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm not doing anything to you, Bella. It is just dinner with friends."

"Fine." I sighed. I knew there would be no getting out of it. Now I was just going to be freaking out all day about how not to act like an idiot during dinner.

By lunch I was so frustrated. I could hardly think straight. I was sitting at our regular table listening to my iPod trying to forget about the coming events when I felt someone sit next to me. I just sat there hoping they would realize that I wasn't in a mood to chat. The song was almost finished when the ear bud was taken out of my ear.

"What are listening to?" His velvet voice washed over me and set my body on fire. If just his voice did that to me, I wondered what other parts of him could do… I couldn't help but shudder slightly, thinking about it. He cleared his throat. I had forgotten he was waiting for an answer.

"Oh….. Umm... I… it's Muse." I stumbled over my thoughts; a blush crept up my neck and onto my cheeks.

"Good choice. I like their new stuff," he said smiling.

"Yeah, I enjoy it too," I agreed trying to sound more confident. I hoped it worked. I was going to attempt to make an effort to speak as if I had a brain.

There was one of those awkward pauses where you both have no idea what to say. I just sat there starring at the table praying I could think of something to say. Thankfully he spoke first.

"So I hear Alice is dragging you off to shop for the dreaded prom. I bet you're excited." He laughed. He knew damn well that I had no choice but to be put through hell.

"Oh yes, I'm just so fucking excited!" I said sarcastically. "I get to be dragged through countless shops trying on outrageously ugly and uncomfortable dresses. Oh and not to mention the heels. You know how that will go. By the time we meet you guys for dinner I should be in the best mood." I stopped myself after I realized I was ranting.

"Well, tell me how you really feel, Bella. Don't hold back," he chuckled.

"Sorry I didn't mean to get so pissed. It's just I really hate shopping in general, let alone for dresses and heels. I will probably be black and blue after the heels. You know I'm not the biggest klutz around, but putting me in a pair of heels is just dangerous." I said with a huff. "Alice knows this and still she persists," I finished, shaking my head.

He was laughing. It was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. I stopped to think… I was actually talking to him and I didn't sound totally brain dead. Although I was ranting but still I was talking. This was progress.

"Of course, I know heels are the worst," he was trying to hide his smile and look serious, but I could see it. Just then Emmett and the rest of the group came and sat down.

"Eddie you're not getting handsy with Isa are you?" Emmett asked laughing.

Edward shifted in his seat looking uncomfortable.

"Why do you have to call me that, Em? You know I hate it," I growled.

Emmett was the only person who got away with calling me Isa. When we were little he couldn't say Isabella or Bella. So I have been Isa ever since. It doesn't mean I have to like it though.

"Yeah I know. That's why I do it," he said matter-of-factly. Of course that's why.

After that, Alice started going on and on about some dress she thought would be perfect for me or something else equally as girly. I tended to drown her out when she got to talking about clothes.

The rest of the day flew by and before I knew it we were on our way to Port Angeles. For most of the ride I was in my own world thinking of him, obviously, but more about how I had had an actual conversation with him. It's not like I'd never spoken with him before. We have known each other for almost our entire lives. He was always over at the house with Em. Emmett and Edward have been best friends since kindergarten. He had always been just another brother to me. That is until we reached like eighth grade something changed.

Okay, not something, _everything_ changed.

He had grown up overnight it seemed. Edward was taller and more muscular. His face seemed more defined. His jaw seemed more angular and masculine. I became really self-conscious around him, so I tried to stop hanging out around him. I was stupid to think I could get away with that though.

Alice would not let that happen and neither would Em. So I sucked it up and just had to deal with it. It was okay for a while mostly because we moved and I never saw him. When we moved back there still weren't any problems really, until he got that damn tattoo last year. I couldn't help it. Ink was my weakness. He got his last name with music notes on either side in between his shoulder blades.

God I wanted to jump him the first time I saw it. Alice told me it was in memory of his parents. Needless to say I tried to stay away more. I didn't trust myself around him.

"Bella, we're here. Stop thinking about fucking Eddie and come on!" Rose shouted from outside my door. I didn't even notice that we had stopped.

"Fuck. You. Rosie!" She hated that nickname. Alice stopped the argument from really starting by dragging us to the first shop. She started throwing dresses at us left, right and centre. I did as I was told but I really didn't like anything. They were really ugly.

It went on like that through all the stores until the last one when I actually saw the perfect dress. Dresses were my worst nightmare but this dress was perfect. It was… me. The dress was a deep purple with a shear layer of black lace. It was a floor length strapless mermaid style dress with a black satin bow around the waist. I was in love, with a dress.

"Oh, Bella! It is absolutely perfect!" Alice said in awe once I had it on.

"I know." I was kind of in a daze. It was wonderful.

"Oh wait. Here, put these on with it," Rose said, bending down putting these pretty black heels in front of me. When I lifted my foot she stopped and stared.

"Rose, would you put the damn shoe on already!"

"Bells, what is this on your foot?" She sounded concerned. I sat down and looked at my foot. There were little deep red dots covering the top of my foot. They weren't raised or anything and they didn't itch or burn so I just brushed it off.

"I don't know. It's probably nothing." I waved my hand. She didn't press and we soon finished shopping.

I got the dress and the shoes. Rose got this beautiful floor length halter dress; it was blue and showed all of her curves. Alice being Alice got the grandest one of us all; a red strapless dress with a full skirt that went to the floor. It looked great with her long deep brown hair and eyes. I was kind of looking forward to prom but there was no way in hell I would let them know.

We met the guys at the Italian restaurant down the block. Alice made sure I sat beside Edward. And of course Rose sat next to Emmett. Alice was sneaky like that. At least I wasn't the only uncomfortable one.

The restaurant happened to have the best linguini ever. Rose had me try it. At first I was skeptical. Usually when someone says linguini with chicken livers, it makes me want to run the other way, but she explained that you ordered it without them. Oh. My. God. Heaven.

After we ordered Alice was talking about the dresses and how excited she was. I just sat there thinking about how I now actually wanted to go to prom. It boggled my mind.

"What are you thinking about?" His breath washed over face. He smelled wonderful, like mint and chocolate.

"Oh just happy I didn't break my ankle or anything." I wasn't going to tell him I was excited.

"That's good to hear." He laughed that musical laugh and my insides turn to mush. Focus, Bella!

"So how was your day?" I asked. I was going to see if I could go for a record speaking to him twice in one day without making a fool of myself.

"Pretty good, I guess. I started drawing up a design for my next tattoo. It is looking pretty good so far." I swear that this guy was trying to fucking kill me. Another tattoo. Something else to fantasize about. Just what I needed. I had to snap out of it before he noticed.

"Oh you're getting another one? Where?" I asked trying not to drool as I thought of all the places I'd like to see a tattoo on his body.

"I think I want it on my left arm, but I'm still thinking about it," he said thoughtfully, flicking his tongue ring against his viper bites. I couldn't help staring at his mouth.

God kill me now before I attack him and have my wicked way with him right here on the table. Ugh! Bella say something!

"I have always wanted one but I don't even know what I would get, and I really, really hate needles and blood." I shuddered. It was true. I did want one, but my irrational fear of blood and needles kept me from getting one, not to mention my dad.

"Yeah well that would be a problem since needles are a big part of it." He was chuckling. I nodded with a smirk.

"So where is Lauren" I asked. Not that I really gave a shit, but I just thought it would be nice to act like I did.

"Not really sure I think she said something about going out with Jessica." He said running his hand through his hair.

When the food came, we all ate and talked about everything and nothing at all. We went home shortly after that. I was really worn out. When I got home I changed and got in bed. I guess shopping and putting so much effort into not looking like a moron really took their toll on me because as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out.

The next week and a half breezed by. Finals were in a couple weeks so we were mainly working on our study guides. I didn't get a chance to talk to Edward again. I did see him a couple times at lunch but he was either with the bimbo or talking with the guys.

I was walking out of the cafeteria on Thursday talking with Alice and Jasper about how fast prom was coming, when I got really light headed. It had been happening a lot recently.

I stopped in front of my World Lit Class. I swayed and leaned against the wall closing my eyes trying to get my bearings. The next thing I knew, I was falling. It felt like I was falling in slow motion. Everything blurred around me. I prepared myself for falling on my face, but then I felt someone's arms around my waist. They were saying my name and shaking me slightly. "Bella, Bella, can you hear me?" Their voice sounded so worried. That was the last thing I remembered.

Then it all went black.

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Well what do you think? Good, Bad... Please let me know what you think?

Oh I have to do some Recs:

_Don't Take the Girl by SparklingWand- http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5930569/1/_

_Touch of Magic by His Sparklyness: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5653537/1/_

_Game, Set, Love by His Sparklyness: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5925186/1/_


	2. Schism

**AN: Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed. (I may or may not have screamed all fangirlish)**

**Thank you SparklingWand for the rec! - If you're not reading her story you need to! Miniward is awesome!**

**Brittan thanks for letting me pick your brain for music. You are a musical genius!**

**Angel you're the best! Thanks for being an awesome Beta there is no way I could do this without you.**

**I own nothing! That would be SM.**

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I know the pieces fit

'Cause I watched them tumble down

No fault, none to blame

It doesn't mean I don't desire to

Point the finger, blame the other

Watch the temple topple over

To bring the pieces back together

_**Schism by Tool**_

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**Chapter 2 –****Schism **

I woke up to Alice's panicked voice.

"Dad, we were walking to class and then she just started falling. Thank god, Edward was there in time to catch her."

My eyes fluttered open and I looked around confused. I was in the hospital. Okay, that would explain why she was talking to her dad. Carlisle was the Chief of Staff and the best damn doctor around.

"Okay, Alice, I'm going to run a few tests, and we'll take it from there. Just calm down, honey, everything is going to be fine," Dr. Cullen said in a calm voice.

My mouth was dry, so I try to swallow but I end up choking and coughing. Alice darts over to my side immediately.

"Oh my God, Bella! Are you okay? You scared the shit out of me," she said with tears in her eyes. She was franticly, fluttering her hands everywhere like she didn't know where to touch me.

"I'm fine, Ali." My voice was scratchy. How long had I been out?

"Here's some water." and hands me the glass. I drank the whole thing. I'm really freaking thirsty.

"Isabella, how are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling okay. A little tired," I said as I yawn.

"That is to be expected. I'm going to run some tests and take a blood panel to see what might be going on," Dr. Cullen said. "Have you been lightheaded lately?"

I nodded. "Yes, only the past couple of days. It comes and goes."

"Is there anything else that you have noticed out of the ordinary?"

I thought for a second.

"Umm...Well there is this rash like thing on my feet and I had a fever last night but other than that, no, not really," I stated.

"May I look at your rash?" he asked. I nodded. He examined my feet and asked if I knew how I got the very large purple bruise on my calf. I looked at it in total confusion. I hadn't even noticed it.

"When the hell did I get that?" I muttered.

"Well, I'm going to get those tests started right away." He sounded calm, but I could see the concern in his eyes.

"Okay," was all I could say. He left and it was just Alice and me.

"Hey do you think you could call Em and Dad for me so they know where I am?" I asked.

"Done. They should be here soon." She looked so worried.

"Thanks. Ali, you don't have to stay here. I'll be fine until they get here." I lied.

"Are you kidding me Bella?" she asked befuddled, "Like I would leave you here by yourself, so you can get all worked up. I don't think so." She said with that knowing look she often used.

Alice was right of course, as always. I was just going to sit there and think about everything that could or would go wrong. That was just how my mind worked. I would over analyze everything, turn things into something it weren't.

"Alice, what happened? The last thing I remember is falling and then someone caught me."

Alice sat on the edge of the bed and started relaying what had happen. Apparently as I started to fall and Edward had come out of nowhere and caught me. He shook me but when I wouldn't come to so she called 911 and then her Carlisle.

"Bella I was so damn scared," She said as she gave me a hug.

"Bella honey, are you alright?" My dad came rushing in the room followed by Emmett, Rose, Jasper and Edward.

"Dad I'm fine. Carlisle saw me and he is having them run some tests," I say as I hug him.

Everyone came over and hugged me, even Edward. To say I was shocked would have been a gross understatement.

When the nurse walked in with the needles and vials my face went cold and ashen as all the blood drained from my face.

Oh god! Needles!

Edward must have noticed because he grabbed my hand and told me to just keep looking and him. That wouldn't be a problem. I could look at him all damn day long. So I did. He was looking at me as if he was searching for something. His dazzling green eyes were hypnotizing me. I couldn't seem to look away.

"Okay, all done. The results should be back soon. Just push the call button if you need anything," the nurse said as she was leaving.

Edward let go of my hand but kept looking at me. I started to blush and turned away. We talked while we were waiting for more information. Alice, who was sitting in Jasper's lap kept going on and on about prom. She really never shut up. They have been joined at the hip for the last three years so of course they'd be going to prom together. I think she was trying to distract me. It was working. Rose climbed up on the bed with me and every so often she squeezed my hand; Emmett and dad were watching some baseball game and Edward sat in a chair next to my bed with a faraway look in his eyes. I fell asleep after a while dreaming of Edward, of course.

"Isa wake up. The doc needs to talk to you," Emmett was shaking me lightly, trying to wake me up. I opened my eyes trying to wake up. Rose shifted closer to me. "Bella your results came back," Carlisle looked calm but I could tell that this was not going to be good news.

"Your platelet count is very low. There are a few things that could have caused this. I want you to be prepared for what it could be." Dr. Cullen looked at me as if he was waiting for a response. So I nodded.

"Okay," I said trying to remain relatively calm. He was freaking me out though. Edward came over and sat on the edge of my bed holding my hand squeezing it lightly. I'm taken aback but I wouldn't complain. He had an amazing calming affect on me whenever he touched me.

"I have to ask everyone else aside from Emmett and Charlie to leave," Carlisle said to my friends.

But I shook my head. I wanted them all there with me. They are like family to me, "Is it okay if they stay?" I asked, motioning to my friends.

Carlisle hesitated, but I begged him with my eyes. He finally conceded to my wish. "Of course," he said.

"Okay, Bella, there is a chance that it could be… leukemia, but that is just one of the possibilities. There are others. I'm going I do a bone marrow biopsy and then we will go from there." I think he was still talking but I couldn't hear him.

I felt as if I was under water. I couldn't breathe. Cancer... Did he say cancer? Leukemia… I could feel the tears sliding down my face. I think I've started hyperventilating.

Edward put his arms around me rubbing soothing circles on my back. He kept saying reassuring things to me to get me to calm down. "Shhh… Bella. He said it was only a possibility. It will be ok." I just nodded absentmindedly in response. Edward was slowly rocking me back and forth until I calmed down. No one else said anything; I could see what they were thinking on their faces. They were scared, as was I. I was absolutely terrified.

After Dr Cullen came to see me everything started moving very quickly; I was taken for the biopsy. They gave me some kind of splendid drug. That's the only reason that I was staying so calm.

My mind was still reeling though. I couldn't have cancer. I just couldn't. But what if I did? What was I going to do? How was I going to cope with that? I opened my eyes some time later. The room was dark; I could see my dad asleep in a chair across the room. I was honestly thankful that everyone else had gone. They didn't need to be here. I looked up at the clock on the wall. It was close to two in the morning.

Something suddenly moved to the right of me. I turned thinking it would be Emmett, but it wasn't. It was Edward. Why was he still here? His behavior today was baffling. He was acting like he really cared about me. Not that he wouldn't care about me, we were friends after all. It just seemed like… more. But no, I couldn't be that crazy to even hope for more than friendship. It just wasn't going to happen. He was with Lauren after all.

"What are you still doing here? You should be at home asleep," I whispered, not wanting to wake my Dad up.

"Bella, I couldn't sleep even if I went home. I'd be up all night anyway worrying. So, I thought I would stay… If it's okay with you? ... I mean," There was an emotion there besides worry that I couldn't seem to place. I stared at him, confused.

"Okay, I guess you can stay if you want, but I don't get why you would want to." Apparently the drugs were still working. He flashed me that crooked smile I loved.

"Bella…I…," he hesitated seeming to be searching for the right words, "Umm, you should go back to sleep. You have had a really long day. I'll wake you if we hear anything."

I nod, a little disappointed. He was going to say something else. I could tell. I fell asleep quickly and dreamt about Edward and me sitting at the lunch table talking and laughing. The only thing that was different was that he had his arm around my waist and he was kissing me on the cheek.

True to his word, Edward woke me up after he'd spoken with Carlisle. Carlisle said that he'd be up shortly to give me my results.

"What time is it?" I asked my voice thick with sleep.

"It's about eleven thirty." Wow I slept a long time. I turned to look at him. He looked like hell.

"Edward, did you get any sleep? You look like shit," Apparently my filter was broken. He smirked at me and shook his head.

"No not really," he stated.

"You should have…" He put his finger over my mouth stopping me mid sentence. In that moment I could feel a spark as he touched me. It was like a jolt of electricity right to my core.

"I told you that I wouldn't have slept anyway. It's not a big deal," I started speaking again, but he cut me off, "Besides I would have missed the sleep talking," he said, trying to hide the smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"Oh, no. What did you hear?" I groaned covering my face with my hands. He chuckled.

"Well… it was really just some mumbling and the stray word here and there," That didn't sound too bad, but he was smiling like he was hiding something.

"And what were those stray words?" I asked horrified. _I could give you three guesses and the first two don't count._ "…Edward?" I prompted.

Just as he started to answer Dr. Cullen walked into my room with a tranquil look on his face, but I was still scared shitless. Again Edward takes my hand; my dad came and stood at the foot of the bed.

"Well, Isabella, you don't have leukemia," he said. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. Not cancer. I didn't have cancer. Thank god!

"But…" Oh shit, that didn't sound good.

"You do have a condition called _Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura_. ITP for short. Most causes are related to antibodies against platelets."

I just stare. What the hell did he just say?

"Umm, could you maybe dumb that down for me?" I asked and he chuckled.

"Yes, basically your body is killing your platelets which is preventing your blood from clotting. The rash on your feet really isn't a rash it is broken blood vessels called _petechiae_. It is a kind of indicator along with the bruise that something is wrong. It can be treated very easily but it might take a while. Your condition is on the chronic side. We are going to start an IVGG right now. In about a week I want you to come in again. We'll check your counts to see if your platelets have gone up, and we will go from there. I'm not sure how long or what kind of treatment we will have to do. This will be an as we go kind of process, there is no straightforward solution. It all depends on how well your body takes to it. In chronic cases such as yours, it could be quite a while before an improvement is seen."

I was stunned. I had no idea what to say. There were no words.

"Okay, so, umm..." still no words. Edward squeezed my hand and whispered in my ear.

"You're going to be fine."

Silent tears started to roll down my face. It wasn't cancer, but I was still freaked out.

"Bella I know this is a lot to take in and you're really overwhelmed right now, but I know you're going to be fine. It is just going to take time," Dr. Cullen sounded confident and that made me hopeful.

"You can still go about your life normally, but you're going to have to be a little more careful. Considering how low your platelet count was, if you cut yourself it will take it a lot longer to stop the bleeding, and if you bump your head even the tiniest bit, please call me. It is just a precaution. We just need to keep a close eye on you is all." He sounded concerned, which I understood. He was like a second dad to me.

"Do you have any questions?" he asked. I shake my head no, not that I didn't have any questions; I just didn't know where to begin. I decided I would just start by doing some research on my own first so I could understand my condition better.

"Okay, I'm going to have them start the first treatment now, and when it is done you can go home."

He walked over and gave me a hug. "You're going to be fine, Isabella. I promise," Dr. Cullen said as he kissed the top of my head and left with my dad close on his heels.

I sat there just staring off into space. There was so much to think about. How could I be fine one day and not the next? It was so overwhelming. Edward was just sitting there holding my hand not saying anything. He knew that I needed to be in my head for a while. While I was sitting there lost in my thoughts, a nurse came in and started the IVGG. Apparently that's the treatment but I was really not sure.

I'm brought some lunch after my treatment but I really didn't eat much. My appetite was shot.

"Hey Bell, are you all right." Edward asked.

"I'm ok; I guess I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything." I said rubbing my forehead. "Edward, you should really go home and get some rest. You don't need to stay here."

"I told your dad I'd take you home, since he is needed at the station and Em has something at school." He said ending any argument for me to get him to go home.

He distracted me from my thoughts with useless talk about school and music, and for that I was grateful. I didn't want to think about it anymore.

Three hours passed before Dr Cullen told me that I was free to go.

"You're going to be pretty run down for the next few days. Just take it easy. Let your body rest. You can probably go back to school Monday," with that he gave me another hug and left.

Arriving home Edward had to help me out of his car. He had to hold me close because I was feeling a little wobbly and unsteady on my feet. It sucked being weak, but I was loving every second of being close to him though. He smelled so damn good and it felt even better being held. He helped me up the stairs and to get me settled.

"Are you ok? Do you need anything else?" he asked. He seemed to still be worried. He had already retrieved my iPod for me, along with my medicine and a glass of water. Apparently one of the side effects of the IVGG was headaches. So far so good though.

"No, Edward, you have done more than enough. Thank you so much. It means a lot to me." More than he would ever know. "You should go home and sleep. That's what I'm going to do."

He was hesitant at first but finally agreed that he needed some rest himself.

"Okay, I guess I'll go, but if you need anything call me, okay?" I nodded, but I guessed that he wasn't convinced. "Promise." he said sounding stern.

"Alright I promise, but Em and Dad should be home soon. Don't worry. I'll be fine," I was stifling a yawn. I closed my eyes and stretched out. I opened my eyes immediately when I realize what Edward was doing. He had come over to my bed and was doing something I was not expecting. He hugged me and gave me a kiss on my cheek.

"Bella, I'll be here for you if you need anything. Ever," he whispered and then kissed my forehead. All I could do was nod.

What the hell was that? Why did he kiss me? Not that I had a problem with it, but he had been acting so funny. He was probably just worried about me like any good friend would be. I had to stop my mind from going to all the places it wanted to go, wondering if those kisses could mean anything more than they did.

_Bella, you will not get your hopes up.__ No you will not, he is dating the bimbo for fuck sake._

Edward left and it didn't take me long to fall asleep, pushing out all my warm and fuzzy thoughts about Edward. I couldn't let myself hope that he could have any feelings for me. It would be too painful if he didn't.

__

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The next morning I woke up in a more relaxed state than I had fallen asleep in. I was still worried about everything with my health but I was determined to not dwell on it. That would get me nowhere. I was also preoccupied by thoughts of Edward kissing me on my cheek and forehead yesterday and how good it would feel if he would kiss my lips.

Okay, stop now, Bella, before you get ahead of , even more ahead of yourself than you already are.

At the time, I was too stunned and really too tried not to think about it; but I was kind of hopeful. Maybe there was something there. I wasn't going to get my hopes up to high though. He could have anyone he wanted; hell, half the female population of Forks wanted him. Why would he want me of all people?

_Bella, you are forgetting that he does have someone. Yeah you know, tall blonde fake tan and big Yabos. Lauren! _

Oh hell how could I have forgotten about her? It's not like we made out or anything. Just two innocent kisses, one on my forehead and the other on my cheek. Nothing major.

I showered trying to remove all thoughts of Edward from of my mind. I decided to put on a pair of comfy yoga pants and an old t-shirt. I had no one to impress today. On my way down stairs to make myself pancakes, I heard the TV. That was strange. Dad should be at the station. I walked into the living room to find Dad and Emmett watching sports.

"What are you guys still doing here?" I asked with my hand on my hip.

"Hey, Bella, you're up. We decided that we would stay home and take care of you today," Em said with worry written all over his face.

"You guys didn't have to do that. I'm fine. I can take care of myself,"

I replied, walking around to sit on the couch next to him.

"Yeah, we know that, Bells; but we were both worried about you, and you need to take it easy for a while. Dr. Cullen's orders,"

my dad said giving me a stern nod.

"Fine," I grumbled, getting up to go start with my breakfast. Emmett followed closely behind me. When we got to the kitchen he scooped me up into a bear hug and whispered.

"Isa, I'm so happy you're okay. You scared the shit out of me. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you, Sis." His voice cracked. It was not like him to show his emotions like that. I was so moved that I started crying.

"Emmett, I don't know what I would have done if it was cancer. I was so scared. I'm so thankful it's not. I'm still so scared. I love you too, Em," still crying as I rambled. He put me down after I calmed down a bit and sat at the table looking a little guilty.

"What's wrong?"I asked. He looked up and smiled sheepishly at me.

"Umm… I called Mom yesterday to tell her what was going on. She said she was going to fly out." Oh crap. I really didn't want to have to deal with her right now. Don't get me wrong I love my mother but I really would prefer to love her from a distance. After the divorce we really haven't gotten along. We're better apart. Phone calls work well for us.

"Em... I…" He cut me off though.

"But I stopped her from coming out. I told her that there wasn't much she could do. That she would most likely just be sitting around watching you sleep."

I released a huge sigh of relief. "Thanks. You know I love her but I just couldn't deal with her on top of all this right now."

"I know but you do have to call her. She's worried too," he said, sounding kind of sad.

"Okay,"was all I could say.

With that I turned around and started the pancakes, reveling in the silence. Once I was done making my chocolate chip pancakes with chocolate sauce, hey what can I say I'm a chocoholic, Emmett brought up the way Edward was acting at to hospital.

"Bells did you notice how Eddie was acting around you yesterday? Is there something I should know?" He gave me a smirk and even waged his eyebrows jokingly. I rolled my eyes at him but wondered if anyone else had caught onto Edward's behavior as well. At least it wasn't just my overactive imagination.

"No. There is nothing to know. He was just really concerned, like everyone else," I simply said.

"Okay, if you say so, but it didn't look like nothing to me." He chuckled as he went back to watching TV.

After I finished eating, I decided I might as well just get it over with and I called my mother.

"Hello," Renee answered curtly.

"Hey, Mom." I tried my utmost best to sound happy.

"Oh, Bella, I was so worried. Are you okay? I can come out if you want," she offered. She did seem to be concerned.

"Mom, I'm fine, really. No need to come out here just to sit around. I have Em and Dad for that," I said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Okay, only if you're sure." Thankfully, she changed the subject. She went on about Phil and how great he was and his new job and blah blah blah. I ended up cutting the conversation short. I really didn't want to hear about Phil. He was nice enough, I guess. I just was not in the mood. Actually, I was never really in the mood to hear about him though.

"Mom, I'm going to go. I'm really sleepy," I said with a yawn, which I actually didn't have to fake.

"Oh, okay, sweetie. Call me if you need anything. Love you."

"You too. Bye, Mom." I told Em and Dad that I was heading upstairs to sleep. They barely looked up from the TV. They nodded and waved. And they said they wanted to take care of me. Ha! Men! When I got up the stairs I check my phone. Wow! I have four text messages.

**Hey just checkin to see if ur ok.**

I answered Edward right away.

_**I'm Fine thanks**_

**Hey B, since its Sat. I am declaring it girls night. We'll be there around 5. Al **

Of course she was organizing girls' night and that was good. I needed to tell them about Edward.

_**Ok that's fine.**_

**Hey U OK?**

_**I'm good see you 2 nite Rose**_

**Hope you're feeling better.**

_**Thanks Jazz Im good**_

After I answered all of them I sat down on my bed and watched the Food Network for a while, learning a few new recipes. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I was smelling popcorn and feeling someone sitting on my bed. I looked up to find Alice and Rose looking at me.

"How ya doin', Bells?" Alice asked sweetly.

"I'm really fine guys. You can stop asking me that." I said sharper than I intended. But everyone was acting like I was going to die or something. Not one to beat around the bush Rose jumped right in.

"So what the hell is going on with you an Eddie? I mean he was very… _attentive_ yesterday with the handholding and the hugging and shit. Are you guys up to no good?" With the last part of her sentence she raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"Rose, if we were up to 'no good' then there's no way in hell I would be sitting here with your ass when I could be with his." They both laughed. It is true if I could be with Edward doing very dirty things to or with him, I would. Those thoughts disappeared as soon as I remembered the bimbo.

"Okay, so if you guys aren't bumping uglies. What was with him at the hospital?" Rose asked all confused. I shrugged, but noticed that Alice had weird smile on her face.

"Umm, I was hoping you could answer that for me. I was thinking at the hospital that he was just really worried, but before he left here yesterday he hugged me and kissed me on my cheek and forehead, telling me he would be here for me if I needed anything, ever. What does that mean?" I was so fucking confused.

Rose sat there thinking but Alice jumped up and hugged me, squealing.

"Bella, don't you see? How do you not see what that means? He cares about you," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Ali, I know he cares. We have known each other forever. Why are you so excited?"

"What she means is he really cares about you," Rose explained.

I merely pursed my lips and gave them both disbelieving looks.

"Nope. No way. He does not. There is just no possible way he could. I mean look at me. I'm short and chunky and just plain boring… oh and then there's Lauren." I ranted.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN! You are most definitely not chunky or plain!" Alice all but screamed at me. Okay, so I wasn't fat per se, but I did have way more curves than either of them do. She also seemed to keep forgetting about Lauren. HIS GIRLFRIEND!

"Bella, you are beautiful and way more interesting than anyone else in school. Any guy would be lucky to be with you," Rose stated softly.

"Rose, I just don't see how he could be interested in me that way. It just doesn't seem logical and how come you both seem to be forgetting that he has a girlfriend?" I asked sadly.

"All right! Enough! We are here to make you feel better, not have you start moping," Rose said unusually perky.

"This is a girls' night, dammit! And besides Bella, Lauren doesn't count. Edward hasn't been around her or even spoken to her in like a week" Alice added.

Why he hasn't seen her in a week? What could that mean?

Enough Bella just stop its girl's night, no more Edward!

"We need chocolate and lots of it," Rose said as she bounded downstairs.

She returned with triple chocolate fudge ice cream and Heath bars. My favorite.

"So, what are you in the mood for? Princess Bride, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, or M*A*S*H?" Alice asked holding up the DVDs.

"Which season of M*A*S*H? I could go for some Hunnicutt." Okay, yes, it may be a bit strange, but we all have a slight obsession with the 1970's TV show. I personally had a thing for BJ Hunnicutt. Yum. But the other two were in love with Hawkeye. I will give it to them. Alan Alada was yummy back in the day.

"Season 8 when Hawkeye gets that silver in his hair." Alice got this far away look in her eyes. That settled that. We sat for the next couple hours laughing and stuffing ourselves with junk. They left me be about the Edward stuff, which was good. I just didn't want to get my hopes up.

At around ten-thirty I received a text.

**Hey B just wanna see how ur feeling?** I smile. It's from Edward

_**Hey E I'm feeling a lot better. Chocolate and M*A*S*H always works! How R U?**_

**I'm good just hangin' out with the guys. You like M*A*S*H?**

**_Lol! Of course it's one of my favorites _**

I laughed because I was sure he would think that I was strange.

"Say hi the Eddie for me, Bells." Rose gave me a knowing smile. I was going to say it wasn't him but thought better of it and so I just said okay.

**Good to know. Hey do u think I could come by and c u tomorrow?**

_Umm, okay, what do I say? What do I say? Oh my god! ! I was freaking out here. _

I must have looked like I was freaking out because Alice asked, "Bells, what's up?"

"Oh, umm he wants to come by and see me tomorrow. What do I say?" I was indeed freaking out. I wanted to say yes, but I was afraid because I was realizing that I had gotten my hopes up way to high already.

"You say yes. Geez, Bella, you're so thick headed sometimes," Alice scoffed.

"Okay, I will. I guess he probably just wants to see how I'm doing." I was trying to convince myself that he was just being a friend. It wasn't working. I had it too bad for this boy as it was. My hopes? They were somewhere up in the stratosphere.

"Yeah that is all he wants to do," Rose snorted.

"Rose,please! I'm all ready freaking out. I don't need to be thinking about that too!" Maybe I could make lunch that would be good. Right? I hope so.

_**Yeah sure that's fine**_

**Cool what time?**

_**Idk umm how about 11 I'll make lunch?**_

**That sounds good! Sleep well B**

**_Goodnight E_**

The girls and I watched a little more M*A*S*H but I was really not paying much attention and after a while they both had fallen asleep. I, however, couldn't get my mind to turn off. I'm too wired thinking of all the possibilities tomorrow could hold. Yes, I had let my hopes get really high, knowing that more than likely, they would all come crashing down on me in little pieces. But I feel like I have to at least take some chances. I would just have to pick up said pieces later.

_

* * *

_

**Well... Did you like it? Let me know! Reviews make me very very happy! **

**If you have any questions about what Bella has PM me. I'll be happy to answer.**

**Meg :)**


	3. Now

**AN: I'll keep this short. Thanks to everyone who Read and Reviewed! Reviews make me so freaking happy you have no idea. **

**Thanks again to Brittan for your musical genius and being my pusher.**

**And thank you Angel for being the best damn Beta a girl could ask for. **

* * *

_**I wanna know you better**_

_**Let's spend some time together**_

_**I wanna be what's on your mind**_

_**Look in my eyes, they're calling**_

_**I need your love to fall in**_

_**If you could just give me a sign**_

**Now- Def Leppard**

Chapter 3-Now

**Edward PoV **

I was standing by my locker after lunch on Thursday talking with Lauren. I didn't understand why she was there talking to me because we broke over a week ago. No, let me rephrase that, I broke up with her after I saw her blowing James in the locker room. It was over long before that, but that had given me enough of a reason. It had been more a relationship of convenience for me anyway. If I had a girlfriend no one else would hassle me to go on dates or to dances. Yes, it sounds cruel but I didn't know how else to be left alone.

Lauren was going on and on about how Prom was going to be so great. Yeah, she still didn't get that I wasn't taking her. She was so dense. If I had my way I would be taking someone else entirely.

I saw Alice and Jasper coming out of the cafeteria and I knew she had to be nearby. Bella. She was so beautiful, always has been. Her dark chocolate eyes and long brown hair that in the sun you can see the slightest hint of red. She was wearing her trademark purple chucks with jeans and a Slash T-shirt. My eyes raked over her curvaceous body. God, she was so damn gorgeous. When my eyes were done roaming her body they settled on her face; I could tell immediately that something was wrong. Bella looked pale, even for her. She had stopped and braced herself against the wall closing her eyes.

Before I knew what I was doing I was moving across the hall leaving Lauren standing there. I got to Bella just as she started to fall. I caught her around the waist; she went limp in my arms. I sank to floor with her cradled against my chest.

"Bella, Bella can you hear me?" Shaking her slightly. I got no response. I started to panic. Everything was a blur after that. I vaguely remember telling Alice to call 911 and then being in the ambulance with her. All I could think was, not her, not Bella.

Ever since Emmett and Bella had come back to Forks my mind had been an endless slideshow of Bella Swan. Who the fuck was I trying to fool? I've had Bella on the brain since the seventh grade. That was the year that everything changed. It was like a switch was flipped and she was no longer my best friend's twin sister, she was so much more. That was the year that all the girls in school started to change or maybe it was just me who had started to notice them more. Bella was the only one who really caught my eye. It had seemed as if she grew up over night. As cliché as it might sound, she blossomed. Her body seemed curvier and softer in places I had never noticed before. It was more than just looks though she was the one girl that got me.

We had the same taste in music, books and movies. She seemed to come out of her shell more. Bella wasn't the same girl I use to play video games or have mud fights with. She rapidly became an infatuation for me. I wanted her even then.

Bella had always been on the shy side. I thought there was no way she would ever be interested in me the way I was in her, but then we started talking more. I was beginning to build the courage to tell her how I felt, that was until she started to shy away from me at the beginning of eighth grade. I didn't understand what could have led to the changed. I still don't. We still hung out with everyone but, we didn't talk that much anymore. By the end of the year I had talked myself into telling Bella how I felt. I thought it was worth a shot.

Before I got the chance to tell her; everything fell apart. They were moving to Chicago. I was crushed. Not only was I losing my best friend but I was losing the only girl I cared about. I had decided that it wasn't meant to be. This was fate's way of saying fuck off. So I tried to stop think about her. I figured that once they left it would get easier, out of sight out of mind, you know. That didn't work however.

They were gone for three years and in those three years Bella Swan never left my mind.

When we arrived at the hospital my dad was already waiting. He told me they would take care of her, but I had to stay in the waiting room. I was pissed off. I wanted to be with her. So I paced and paced; the entire length of the room. I was driving myself crazy. A short while later Rose and Alice showed up with Jasper in toe. Ali went to find my dad to figure out what was going on. If anyone could get information on what was happening it would be her.

Jasper pulled me into a chair and forced me to sit while Rosalie took over pacing.

"Edward, you need to calm down, she'll be fine," he whispered as he put his hand on my shoulder, shaking me a bit.

Jasper was the only person who knew how I felt about Bella. I couldn't really go to Emmett and tell him how in love with his sister I was. I guess I could but I didn't think that would turn out well.

"Jazz, I don't know she didn't look good. She was as white as a ghost," I had my fingers lodged in my hair and I was biting at my viper bites. I was so scared that something horrible was wrong with her.

"She is with your dad, she'll be fine," Jasper was always so damn calm. Sometimes it was a good thing but right now it was just fucking annoying.

Frustrated, I got up and started pacing again. Half an hour later Chief Swan and Emmett come running through the door, I pointed them in the direction they took her. Alice still hadn't come back. Knowing her, she had probably conned her way into Bella's room. Not really caring if I was supposed to or not, I followed Em down the hall. Rose and Jasper were right behind me.

When I got to her room, seeing her awake, my heart stopped for a second and then it sped up double time. She was up and she had a little of her color back. I was so happy to see she was okay I did something very out of character for me. I hugged her. It felt so good to have her in my arms even for the briefest of moments. As I stepped back I was immersed in her wonderful scent, she smelled so good, like grapefruits, it was intoxicating.

The nurse came in carrying a handful of vials. Looking at Bella I could tell she was going to either have a panic attack or faint again. Not thinking, just acting, I took her hand.

"Hey, Bella look at me. Don't think about it. Okay? You'll be fine." She stared right back at me. Her eyes were so beautifully dark, I got lost in them for a moment. I let go of her hand when the nurse left, but I couldn't pull my eyes away from her. When she turned away blushing I stepped away and sat down in a chair near the bed. Everyone moved around the room talking, trying to act as if they weren't scared shitless. I don't think we fooled her though.

Bella fell asleep shortly after, she looked so peaceful when she slept. We were all quiet, not really knowing what to say. Emmett came and stood at the end of Bella's bed. He was just watched her. I couldn't really tell what he was thinking; his face was a blank mask.

My dad came in about an hour later. He looked very calm, almost too calm. Shit this was not good.

"Bella's results are back," his voice was solemn.

Emmett woke her. It took a few gentle shakes but she finally came to.

Dad told her that the tests were back and that her platelet count was low. Then he wanted her to be prepared for what he was about to say. I knew it couldn't be good. I vowed to myself right at that instant, I would be there for her no matter what. I would help her through whatever was to come.

I don't really know what I was expecting, but leukemia was the last thing I thought he would say. Bella had tears running down her face and she was taking short fast breaths. It killed me seeing her like that. So I did the only thing I could think of. I rocked her and tried to set her mind at ease. He had said that it was only one of the possibilities.

After a while she seemed to calm down a bit. Not a single person said anything, obviously in shock. I did get a few peculiar looks from everyone but Jasper. I know my behavior was way out of the norm for me. Typically I would be in the corner silently stealing glimpses of Bella. I just couldn't sit there watching her be so terrified and not do something.

Carlisle left and Bella was whisked off for the biopsy. As soon as she was out of the room it was like you could see everyone's mask crumble. We had all been acting so strong not wanting to voice our fears with her in the room. Alice broke down crying in Jasper's arms. Emmett started pacing talking to himself. Charlie sat in front of the T.V. his face contorted in pain. The most shocking though was Rosalie; she sat in the chair opposite me and cried. Rose does not show her emotions, ever. I believe this was the first time I had ever seen her cry.

When they brought Bella back into the room she was asleep. Which was a good thing considering Alice and Rose were still crying. Not nearly as bad but enough that it would have upset Bella. An hour later everyone but Charlie and I left.

"Edward, why don't you go on home, get some sleep, son?" Charlie asked

"Umm, If it's okay with you sir, I'd like to stay." I replied. I couldn't go home I wanted to make sure she would be all right.

"Suit yourself," He gave me a quizzical look then turned back to the T.V.

I sat there in my chair just staring at her beautiful face. I thought of all of the times I had wished I could just watch her uninterrupted. Granted, this was not ideal. When I had thought about this moment we weren't in a hospital with her father across the room.

Bella woke up around two in the morning. When she saw me she looked so confused, probably wondering why the hell I was there. She tried to get me to go home, I told her I wanted to stay and with that I got an even more perplexed look. After she said she didn't know why I'd want to, I almost said it. I was so close to just letting all the things I'd been feeling for the past five years tumble out. I stopped myself though, this was not the time. Bella had had an emotional day I didn't need to add to it.

She fell back asleep quickly after that. My dad came in to check on her. He didn't look surprised to see me, which shocked me. I had a feeling he knew how I felt about Bella, but if he did he never said so.

"Dad, do you have any news yet?" I asked with a yawn.

"Not yet, Edward, I will let you know when I do," he whispered. "Why don't you go h..." he stopped when he saw the look on my face. There was no way I was going home. "Why don't you go get some coffee?" He rephrased.

"Yeah that's a good idea" again I yawned. I went to get a large coffee in the cafeteria. When I got back I noticed that Bella was mumbling something. My feet were moving before I knew it; I wanted to hear what she was saying. There were a few stray words like waist, lunch and green. I couldn't imagine what she was dreaming. Then I heard the one thing I'd been waiting to hear for so long.

"Edward love me back," her voice was quiet but very clear.

I backed away so fast I nearly fell on my ass. Sitting back down in my chair, I leaned forward with my head in my hands.

Did I really hear her say that? Did Bella in her sleep just ask me to love her back? Could she really mean that? Oh God I hope so.

The morning came quickly after that. There wasn't any more sleep talking, thankfully. I don't know if my mind could have handled anything else like that. Around eleven my dad called to say he would be up with Bella's results. He wouldn't tell me what they were but he didn't sound as worried as I thought he would. That was a good sign. Charlie asked me if I could take her home because when Carlisle was done he had to get to the station; something about a car accident.

After I woke Bella up and let her know that Carlisle was one his way, we talked a little. She in so many words told me I looked like shit. I accidentally let it slip that she was sleep talking. Bella blushed a beautiful red from her embarrassment. She asked what she had said but there was not a chance I was going to tell her, at least not yet. I had decided during the night sometime that I was going to tell her how I felt about her. I just needed to wait for the right time. I had already waited almost five years, what was a little while longer.

Carlisle came in and let us know that she didn't have cancer. I sighed in relief; I had been so scared for her. He did say though that she has a blood disorder, ITP. If she were to cut herself or hit her head hard enough it would be incredibly difficult to stop the bleeding. He had the nurses start the treatment right away.

Bella was silent; she just sat there starting at nothing as far as I could tell. I held her hand and let her be alone with her thoughts; this had to be difficult for her. After they brought her lunch she didn't eat, I had to ask if she was okay. She said she was, I didn't really believe her but I wasn't going to push. I tried to take her mind off things with useless talk about music and school ending.

Time went by quickly after that and the next thing I knew I was in her bedroom making sure she had everything she needed. I made her promise she'd call me if she needed anything. I really didn't want to leave her but if I didn't get home and sleep I was sure I'd fall asleep standing. I was going to just turn and leave but then I thought better of it. I figured the least I could do was hug her; so I did but once I did that I couldn't help myself I had to kiss her beautiful cheek. I told her that I would be there for her if she ever needed anything. And I would; I'd do just about anything for Bella Swan.

Once I got home I bypassed the kitchen, knowing my mother would be in there coming up with a new recipe. I didn't want to interrupt her or talk about Bella at the moment. I went directly to my room stripped down to my boxer briefs and crawled into bed. The second my head hit the pillow I was out. I hadn't realized how tired I actually was. I slept through the rest of Friday and a good part of Saturday. The guy's came over that night as they always did on Saturday's. I was a little anxious about seeing Emmett. I didn't want him questioning me about the way I had been acting around Bella the day before. It turned out I had nothing to worry about, we had a normal guy's night playing pool, listening to music, and talking shit.

Bella was on my mind the whole night though. At one point I decided to just text her to see how she was feeling. We had a short texting conversation and I asked if I could come visit her the next day. I really wanted to talk to her, get to know her again. If I had balls enough perhaps even ask her out on a date.

Once I was outside Bella's house I could hear loud rock. The music was so loud it was rattling the windows. I knew she wouldn't be able to hear me but I knocked anyway. I knocked loudly about three times with no response, as I expected. I figured since she knew I was coming over I should just walk in. I was slightly frustrated by the fact that the door was unlocked and I could just walk in. As I enter the house I immediately recognize the song she is blaring Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a Deadman. Good choice.

Walking around the corner into the living room I stop dead in my tracks at the sight before me. Bella in tight black yoga pants and a purple tank top dancing to the music. Dancing might not have been the right word for what she was doing but it was the only thing that came to mind. She was singing into the end of a feather duster and grinding her hip rather provocatively. As she dipped down low, I felt my pants tighten significantly and knew it was going to be a long day.

Bella was so into the music she didn't notice me for a while. I started to walk toward her when she turned and she slammed right into me. My arms shot out automatically to steady her. She looked up at me, her face a brilliant shade of red.

"Hey, I didn't hear you come in," She said with a nervous laugh.

"Yeah, I figured you wouldn't. I knocked a couple times. Then decided to just come in," I tugged on my hair and added, "I hope that's okay."

She turned away from me and walked over to the iPod dock.

"How much did you see?" she whispered once the music was turned down.

"Umm, not too much," I couldn't help but smile thinking of the way she had been dancing. "I came in toward the end of the song," ah the end when she was grinding her hips so seductively, dipping down. Shaking those thoughts from my mind, that kind of thinking was not helping the issue with my pants. I heard Bella muttering, I only caught a few words something like "so embarrassing" and "fucking stripper" I couldn't be sure though.

I walked over standing about a foot away from her; I reached out without even thinking and took her hands in mine. I leant forward and whispered in her ear.

"Bella there is no reason to be embarrassed, you dance beautifully," Her breathing hitched.

"Yeah, I'm sure," She said with a shaky laugh.

I pulled back just enough so I could look her in the eye, "I will never lie to you Bell, ever." I gave her tiny hand a gentle squeeze. We just stood there staring at each other. I wanted to pull her to me for a kiss with all I had. A piece of hair fell loose from her ponytail and into her face; I reached up to brush it back as the phone rang. We jumped apart as if we had been shocked.

Bella ran down the hall to get the phone and I went into the kitchen. I sat in one of the four miss matched chairs and started to think about the things I wanted to tell her. There was so much, I didn't know where to begin.

"Edward, what's wrong?" Bella's voice surprised me and I jumped slightly.

"What? Oh nothing," I smiled up at her. She studied my face for a fraction of a second then walked to the counter.

"Alright, if you say so. I'm going to start lunch." Bella said as she reached for a knife. The only thoughts in my head were all the terrible things that could happen if she cut herself. I was up and had the knife before she could even touch it. She gave me the strangest look somewhere between confused and pissed.

"I'm not risking you cutting yourself," I stated simply.

"I know how to use a knife, Edward. I'm not going to cut myself," she huffed.

"Bella, accidents happen. It's just not worth it. If you nick yourself it could turn awful really quick. I just don't… want to risk it," I knew I sounded frustrated, but I couldn't help it. If anything happen to her, I don't know what I'd do.

She contemplated what I had said, as if it mattered, I was not letting her touch that knife.

"Okay, point taken, it would be bad if I bleed all over the place," She chuckled darkly. I think this was her idea of a joke, but it wasn't funny, at all.

"Not funny Bell, not funny at all," I shook my head as I took the tomato from her and began slicing it.

"What's for lunch?" I asked smiling at her trying to lighten the mood.

"Oh, grilled cheese with bacon and tomato. I hope that is okay?" She asked but I could see the smile playing at the corner of her mouth. She knew somehow that that was my favorite sandwich. Alice; I was going to have to thank her later.

"Yeah that's fine, it is my favorite after all," I smirked.

We worked very well in the kitchen together. I sliced everything, laying them in neat piles while she assembled the sandwiches and cooked them. We were silent while we worked, but it wasn't uncomfortable, very much the opposite.

As we sat down next to each other Bella decided to break the silence.

"So, umm… How is Lauren?" This was not what I was expecting. It was like just saying her name made Bella ill.

"I'm not really sure. I broke up with her a week ago," I said trying to keep my voice from sounding bitter. I would have missed the smile that flashed across her face had I not been watching her closely.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she really did sound remorseful; it was sweet, even if she was faking it. I knew she didn't like Lauren, no one really did. She was self-absorbed and had the intelligence of a wet mop.

"I'm not," I stated plainly.

"You're not?" she looked perplexed. I decided it was now or never. I had to tell her.

"No, I have had someone else on my mind for quite a while now," I smiled at her thinking she could figure it out. I was mistaken. She looked utterly heartbroken.

"Oh." She replied in a small voice looking at her hands.

I shifted my chair closer to her.

"Bella, look at me please?" I said softly as I touched her chin with my index finger. She turned her head slowly. I just gaze at her for a moment, her dark chocolate eyes staring back at me. This was it. This was the moment I'd been waiting for five years to happen. I gathered all my courage and told her.

"Bella, you are the someone who has been on my mind." Her breath hitches as I let out a deep breath. "You, Isabella Marie Swan have been on my mind for a very long time." I run my hand down the length of her jaw reveling in the softness of her skin. Bella closed her eyes and leaned slightly into my hand. I don't say anything else; waiting for her to say something. I so badly wanted to kiss her, but she hadn't answered yet. So I waited. That is until I saw tears running down her lovely face.

"Bella, what's wrong? Did I say the wrong thing?" I started to panic. She didn't feel the same. I knew she wouldn't, but I had to tell her. Before my mind went too far she brought me back.

"Edward, no nothing is wrong. Everything is fine… no, wonderful. Everything is wonderful," She is smiling brightly at me but there were still tears pouring from her eyes.

"You're crying. Why?" I ask worried.

"Edward they're happy tears, I have been waiting to hear you say those word for so long. I just… It is hard to believe this isn't a dream." She chuckled as I wiped the tears from her face.

"Bella I…" I was cut off by her delightfully soft lips. Her lips were there and then gone just as fast.

"Oh God I'm sorry… I..." She flushed a brilliant pink as she attempted to apologize, for what I don't know.

I brought both my hands up to frame her face trying to get her to settle down. I admired her for just a second, taking in her bright eyes and rosy cheeks. She was so beautiful.

"Bell, would you shut up for just a minute? There is something that I have wanted to do for a while now." She nodded her wide eyes curious.

Leaning forward I captured her lips with mine. She was still for a split second then she was moving her lips with mine. I couldn't believe that I was actually kissing Bella. It was a slow sweet kiss. My heart felt like it was going to burst with pleasure.

One minute Bella was in her chair kissing me, the next she was straddling my thighs. She ran her warm wet tongue along my bottom lip, stopping to suck on my viper bite. I nearly lost it. My hands shifted from her face down her shoulders and back settled on her ass, giving it a rough squeeze. My tongue quickly slipped into her mouth, my heart hammered in my chest as I searched her mouth, her tongue; she tasted so sweet. Fisting her hands in my hair, she pulled me closer moaning loudly. Breathing heavy I broke the kiss, but my lips never left her body. I kissed down her jaw to her neck, letting my tongue steal random licks along the way.

It was as though there were two of her; the shy, sweet bashful Bella and the bold, aggressive playful Isabella.

"Edward, I…umm think we should… umm stop," she was breathing heavily. I pulled back to look at her. Bashful Bella was back. I smiled and brushed my lip against her forehead.

"I think your right, we should stop…for now." Bella shifted off my lap back to her seat.

"I don't know what came over me. I'm sor…" I put my hand over her mouth. There was no way I was letting her apologize for what we did.

"Isabella, if you so much as say the word sorry, I will get up and leave," I said in all seriousness. "I have no regrets; I have wanted to do that for so long." I admitted, the last half coming out rushed.

"No never! I would never regret that. It's just my moods; they have been everywhere this morning." She rushed to explain herself. "Wait! What did you say?" She gave me the strangest look.

"I have no regrets." I knew that was not the part she wanted me to repeat but I was very nervous all of the sudden.

"No, not that part, after that you said you have wanted to do that for a long time," Her voice got really quiet. "Did you mean it?" she looked up at from underneath her long lashes. She almost looked scared of what my answer would be.

"Bell, I already told you I will never lie to you. Yes, I meant it." I said running my thumb along her swollen lower lip. "I have wanted to kiss you for the longest time."

"Me too, Edward. So long," she sighed looking down at her hands

"Really? How long?" I couldn't help but ask.

"I could ask you the same thing," She smirked. Oh playful Isabella was back.

"Yes, you could, but I asked you first." I raised an eyebrow expectantly.

When I didn't say anything else Bella huffed; clearly she didn't want to answer first. "Fine, Ihavewantedtokissyou sincetheeighthgrade." She mumbled rather fast.

"Bell, you're going to have to repeat that. All I caught was kiss you,'" it was cute how red she was turning.

"Ugh... eighth grade Edward. I have wanted to kiss you since the eighth grade." Bella stood suddenly and started pacing the kitchen, her voice kept getting louder, stronger the longer she went. "I have liked you for about five fucking years now. I thought that when I moved it might stop but no you were always there somewhere on my mind. Then we came back and God, it was worse than ever. The dreams and that damn tattoo oh and let's not forget your fucking viper bite. Ugh…" She finally stopped yelling but continued to pace.

I just sat there staring at her trying not to laugh at her while also trying to take in everything she was saying. Bella just told me she has liked me for five years. The same five years I had been wanting her. She also likes my tattoo and piercing. And she dreams of me.

"Oh. My. God. Did I really just say all that… out loud?" She looked completely mortified and really pale, close to how she looked on Thursday before she fainted. I was up and out of my chair before I could think.

"Yes, you did, but it's fine. It was good to hear." I tried to console her as I pulled her into my arms. "Why don't we go sit in the living room and talk for a while, it seems like we have a whole lot to talk about." She nodded and I helped her to the couch she was a tad wobbly on her feet.

Once I got her to the couch I pulled her into my lap and continued to tell her everything. I told her how I had gathered all my courage to spill my feelings only to find out she was moving. How she was on my mind continuously for the last five years as well. And the only person I told any of this to before telling her was Jasper. I explained how I was too scared of what Emmett would say if I told him I liked his sister. Bella was silent the entire time, patiently listening as I rambled. Then I got to the thing I had been dying to know,

"Bella, when you were asleep in the hospital, you said something that I can't get out of my head," I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves.

"You said 'Edward, love me back', do you Bella… love me I mean?" I was terrified by what her answer could be. She was blushing the most beautiful pink when she looked up at me.

"Edward, I don't know if what I'm feeling is love or not. I have never been in love but I really hope this is love because it is the most wonderful feeling." Her voice was quiet but clear. I could see she was telling the truth.

I was so overcome with emotions that I didn't think, I just acted. I leant forward and kissed her with all the fervor and love I had. This kiss was different from the other, this was not frantic and lust filled. No, this kiss was slow, sensual and full of love.

It was love; I knew I loved her all the way back in seventh grade, even if I hadn't realized it back then. Bella Swan was it for me. There was nothing that would change that. Bella was my life.

* * *

**So….Edward? What did you think? Let me know._ I absolutely love reviews they make my day. _**

**Meg : ) **

**Before I forget- My Recs: **

_**Game, Set, Love by His Sparklyness - http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5925186/1/**_

_**Don't Take the Girl by Sparklingwand - http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5930569/1/**_

_**Late Night Encounters by kyla713 http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5253229/1/**_


	4. I Wanna

**A/N: Well first let me apologize for taking so long. I just kept getting distracted with so wonderful fics. What can I say I'm addicted, plain and simple.**

**Thank you to all the amazing reviewers! You guy have no idea how much the reviews mean to me. I have to thank one reviewer in particular Min Gaudion, for going through and reading and reviewing all three chapter in one night. Thank you very much that meant a lot to me.**

**As ever thanks to Angel for being so supportive and helping me when I start to panic. You're the Best Beta Ever!**

**Brittan thanks for letting me talk non-stop about this and still being so supportive. You are Awesome!**

**I own nothing, That would be S. Meyer**

**Anyway one with the story!**

* * *

All I wanna do is touch you

I wanna I wanna I wanna touch you

You wanna touch me too

Everyday but I all I have is time

Our loves the perfect crime

_I Wanna- The All-American Rejects_

Chapter 4 – I Wanna

Bella PoV

Oh. My. Fucking. God. I was kissing Edward. I was really kissing Edward- Fucking- Masen.

The day could not get anymore surreal. First Edward catches me dancing like a god damn stripper, he then proceeded to tell me I was beautiful. Okay, he didn't call me beautiful but my dancing. There is no way that the way I was 'dancing' was beautiful. We had this really intense moment staring into each other's eyes. I could've sworn he was going to kiss me. Then the phone rang. Damn phone. It was my dad asking how I was. He also let me know that he was working a double, and wouldn't be home until noon tomorrow.

When I went to start getting lunch ready, Edward wouldn't let me touch the knife. He was afraid I would cut myself. Of all the ridiculous things, the one place that was safe for me was the damn kitchen. Cooking was my passion. The one thing I knew I was good at. It was kind of sweet though, not wanting me to die and all. In the end it was worth it though, Edward looked really fucking sexy in the kitchen. He knew exactly what he was doing with that knife. Never in my life had I thought that a man in the kitchen would be such a turn on. Oh God it was!

Somehow we end up at the table and he told me that he dumped the Bimbo. To which I did a fucking happy dance in my head. I tried really I did, to act sad that their relation-shit was over, not too sure if it worked however. Then Edward continued to tell me he's had some other bitch on his mind. I know for a fact I looked like someone just killed my puppy. Miracle beyond miracles, I was the other bitch. When he said, "You Isabella Marie Swan have been on my mind for a very long time," his voice all low and fucking huskily; I think my whole body turned to mush. I felt as though I was in one of my dreams again, where I'm just about to say something and then I wake up. It never happened though because this was real.

I started crying like the emotional wreck I am. Edward looked so worried, thinking he had said the wrong thing. Yeah, the guy of my fucking dream- literally-telling me he can't get me off his mind was the worst thing he could say.

Before I could think I kissed him, so fast I don't really think it counted. Still my lips touched his, which was enough for me. I started to mumble some kind of apology, after I realized what I had done. He told me to shut up. No really, he told me to shut up, but then he was kissing me. I mean really kissing me, our lips were moving together, and it was a sweet soft kiss. I then found myself straddling his thighs and sucking on his lip piercing. When he grabbed my ass and slid his tongue in my mouth I do believe I lost it. I rammed my hands in his sexy messy hair. I pulled him as close as I could get him, which was not nearly close enough. My body was on fire as he kissed down my neck. But we had to stop, let's just say, there was no doubt in my mind that if we kept going I would no longer have been a virgin. Not that I had a problem with it, I just thought that it was a bit fast. Not to mention that I really didn't want my first time to be in an old kitchen chair.

Everything was perfect, until I opened my mouth and started to apologize again. There was something seriously wrong with my brain, because I was most definitely not sorry for that. He threatened to leave and there was no ways I was going to let that happen. I rushed to assure him that I didn't regret any of it. When I asked him if he meant what he said about wanting to kiss me for a long time, a million things were racing through my head. What if all he wanted was physical thing? Could I do that, just have a physical relationship? Maybe its pity, he feels sorry for me. He was only here kissing me because I was sick. Before my thoughts got the best of me he spoke,

"Bell, I already told you I will never lie to you. Yes, I meant it. I have wanted to kiss you for the longest time."

There are no words to express the way his words made me feel. On top of it all he called me Bell; no one else calls me that. I've been called Bells, Bella, Isa, Isabella but never Bell it made me feel…special.

I became shy again as I told him that I have wanted to kiss him for a long time as well. He asked me for how long I had wanted to, I try to get him to answer first but I could tell he wasn't going to budge. I huffed frustrated and got up from my seated position, pacing the kitchen yelling at him, alright more like ranting. I told him how long I'd liked him and how much I love his damn tattoo and piercing.

I stop suddenly realizing that I had just told Edward everything that I never wanted to tell him. I had just made myself incredibly vulnerable. He could very well tell me that all he wanted to do was kiss me and he had no other feelings for me. I could see all my hopes start to fall one by one.

I felt faint and really uneasy. I began having a full on panic attack. Then suddenly Edward is there in front of me. He was saying something but I didn't really hear it.

Somehow we end up on the couch with me in his lap. Edward continued to tell me he had also liked me for almost five years. He told me that he had gathered up all his courage to tell me how much he liked me only to find out I was moving to Chicago. In that instant I hate my mother a little bit more. If we hadn't moved, if she would have let us stay here with dad like we wanted to, who knows where we would be now.

I sat silently as Edward poured his heart out to me. He had been too afraid to tell Emmett that he liked his twin sister. To be completely honest, I understood. I had never told Em how I felt about Edward, even though I normally told him everything. Emmett has a tendency to be overprotective and overreacted were I was concerned.

Then he brought up my sleep talking in the hospital. I had apparently said 'Edward, love me back', I couldn't remember any of my dreams from that night, only knowing that he was in them. Edward asked if I meant it, if I loved him. The look in his eyes told me he was scared of what my answer would be. I couldn't tell if he wanted me to say no or if he wanted me to tell him that I did love him.

Did I love him? Was that what this feeling was? I remembered what my Grandma Swan told me once. She said, "If he doesn't make you nervous, like your twelve again, then keep looking." She had told me that Papa Swan had made her nervous every day they were together. They had the kind of love I wanted.

Edward definitely made me nervous, in the best way. I had never been in love before, but if I could love anyone, it would be him. So I answered him as truthfully as I could.

"Edward, I don't know if what I'm feeling is love or not. I have never been in love but I really hope this is love because it is the most wonderful feeling."

I was so afraid of what his response would be. He didn't say anything instead he kissed me. This wasn't just a kiss though; it was slow, powerful and passionate. It made my heart swell with elation. I knew then if I didn't love him yet, it was only a matter of time before I did. He didn't say it but I think he felt the same way. I could feel it in his kiss.

After what felt like hours, but was more like minutes of soft kisses and loving caresses we pulled apart. We didn't say anything, just smiled and stared at each other. It was funny how quickly we got back to how were use to be as kids, well with a lot more kissing. Conversation flowed easily and it felt like no time had passed since we had hung out like that.

I went to get us sodas and some chips. As I was starting to sit down I felt a blinding pain behind my eyes.

"Ow, Fuck," I muttered dropping the cans of Coke. Edward got up in a flash.

"Bell, what's wrong?" He asked slightly panicked.

"Umm I think I'm getting that headache your Dad warned me about," I responded as I rubbed my temples.

"Are your pills where I left them Friday?" Edward asked. I nodded slowly. Carlisle wasn't lying when he said it could be really bad. This fucker came on fast too.

Edward was gone and back before I even comprehended he had left. He handed me the tiniest freaking pill I had ever seen and an open soda. I took the pill not understanding how something so small could help such a painful headache. I sat back down with my eyes closed and rested my head on the back of the couch.

Everything came crashing down at once. I was really sick. This wasn't just some twisted dream I was in. I could die. If I hit my head it could be fatal. Why was this sinking in only now?

I started panicking. I couldn't breathe; it felt like my lungs were in a vice. My heart was thrashing in my chest. Tears leaked from my eyes. My thoughts were everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. I didn't want to die.

"Ed...Edward I… I can't… I can't breathe." I wheezed.

"Bell, calm down, look at me." Edward's voice was calm and steady. He put his hands on my cheeks and turned my head towards him.

"Bella you're going to be okay. Take slow deep breaths." I did as I was told, breathing slowly and deeply. It wasn't working. Why wasn't it working!

"Edwa…it's…it's not...working," I rasped. I couldn't calm down. Everything was out of my control.

Edward got down on his knees in front of me. He again took my face in his hands as he spoke.

"Bella, you have to breathe. Come on baby. Just stop thinking and breathe." He was as composed as ever rubbing his thumbs against my cheeks. I nodded my head giving up trying to talk.

I stared at him, just looking at his beautiful face. I stopped thinking about dying and thought only of the wonderful man in front of me. He was so wonderful. How could he be so calm? If the roles were reversed I don't think I would be able to help him. I would be freaking out.

It was starting to work. My breathing slowed along with my heart. He smiled at me, it was a relived smile.

"There you go babe. Nice slow breathes." He moved his thumbs up, rubbing my temples, soothing the pain I had almost forgot had started this whole mess.

I didn't say anything, too afraid of what would come out of my mouth. Edward moved to the couch again, pulling me into his lap so I was facing him. I laid my head on his shoulder as he ran his hands up and down my back. I was so tired all of a sudden; I could hardly keep my eyes open.

I was vaguely aware that he asked me if I was ok. I think I 'mhmed' my response but I wasn't sure. Then I was drifting off.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

I woke up to a pitch black room. It was dark outside and I could hear the rain hitting the side of the house. We had somehow moved so that Edward was stretched out on the sofa. I was lying on his chest, he was sound asleep. I didn't move not wanting to risk waking him. I laid there looking at him. Edward looked so peaceful and happy, with a slight smile on his lips.

I couldn't imagine how this gorgeous man could want me_… Me, Bella Swan_. It didn't seem real. I wasn't like any of the other girls he had dated in the past. They were all tall, blonde and super skinny. I was short, brunette, and really curvy. I was the complete opposite to all of his former girlfriends.

What were we now anyway? We hadn't really discussed that. Was I his girlfriend? I really liked the sound of that. Would we be going to Prom together now or would he still be taking the Bimbo? No, I did not like that at all.

My stomach growled pulling me out of my thoughts. I looked at the clock on the DVD player. Seven-thirty-seven...Shit, how long had I been asleep?

I slowly and carefully rolled off of Edward's, thankfully not waking him. On the way to the kitchen my phone beeps. I had a text from Emmett.

**Hey sis what's for dinner I'll be home soon.**

Of course he would be coming home and want me to have food ready for him. Ass.

_**Not cooking. How does pizza sound?**_

**Good be there in 20.**

As I was hanging up from ordering the pizzas I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist. I tensed and then relaxed into his warm chest.

"How long have you been up?" Edward asked as he kissed along my neck up to my ear. An involuntary shiver ran up my spine. His lips felt so good.

"Umm not long, I was just ordering some pizza. I didn't wake you, did I?" My voice was shaky. His hands were traveling up my ribs while he continued to kiss all along my neck.

"No, not at all." His voice was thick and husky. He turned me to face him.

My breathing was embarrassingly loud but I couldn't help. Edward bent down taking my bottom lip between his, sucking lightly. I couldn't stop the moan that escaped. My arms went around his neck pulling his closer. I felt very bold suddenly as I pushed him toward the nearest wall. When his back hit the wall he pulled back cocking his eyebrow. I smirked, standing on my tip toes; I flicked his viper bite with my tongue before sucking it into my mouth.

Edward lifted me up; his hands on the backs of my thighs. I shrieked out of surprise as he spun so I was now against the wall. Then his tongue was in my mouth moving with mine. Lust had taken us both over. I ground my hips into his, seeking some kind of friction. All I could hear was our moans and the sound of our wet kisses. He moved one hand up to cup my breast, running his thumb over my nipple. My body felt like it was on fire. It was the best kind of torture.

"Oh god, Edward." I groaned as I broke the kiss. He started to trail his lips down my neck again but stopped as someone cleared their throat. I froze and then I slid down Edward's body. Slowly I turned to see Emmett staring at us. The look on his face could only be described as complete and utter shock.

"Hey, Em," What the hell else was I going to say. My twin brother just caught his best friend dry humping me against our kitchen wall.

"No by all means continue, don't let me stop you." He crossed his arms over his chest while raising an eyebrow.

"Emmett…" I sighed. I didn't know what to say and apparently neither did Edward. We both just stood there; my back was still to the wall and Edward's hands were now on my waist.

Em broke the incredibly awkward silence.

"I'm just giving you guys shit. It's about damn time you got together." He laughed. I'm pretty sure my eyes got as big as saucers. What did he mean? Before I got a chance to ask he walked up to us looking Edward in the eye.

"Edward, man you're my best friend, but if you hurt my sister I swear on all that's fucking holy I. Will. Kill. You. Got it?" As if to get his point across he jabs his finger into Edward's chest.

I couldn't believe him. Really. Did he just threaten to kill Edward in front of me?

"Emmett, stop being a jackass! Was that really necessary?" I said as I smacked the back of his head.

"Emmett, I would never hurt Bella. She means too much to me." Edward pulled me to him and kissed the top of my head. Then he looked at me. "Don't worry. I said the same thing to Jasper when he started dating Alice." I smiled and kissed his cheek.

There was a loud knock on the door. I looked at Em and tilted my head as if to say, 'go get the door fucker'. He nodded and left us there.

I turned to look Edward in the eye as I asked. "Are we? Dating I mean." I had to know what this was. What we were.

"Well, that is what I was thinking but if you…" I cut him off.

"So, does that make me… like your girlfriend?" I asked in a small voice, looking down at my hands. Please let him say yes, please let him say yes. I chanted in my head. I heard him chuckle I looked up as he answered.

"I do believe that makes you my girlfriend." He had that sexy smirk on his face, the one that did really wonderful things to me. In a very un-Bella-like response, I let out the loudest squeal of my life. Alice would be proud. I jumped into his arms kissing him. I was so unbelievably happy. I felt his laughter rather than heard it.

"Sorry, I'm just so damn happy," I said stepping back, smiling sheepishly.

"Don't, you have to stop with the apologizing. I love seeing you happy, it makes me happy." He kissed my forehead.

I felt totally ridiculous, but I couldn't help it. Finally, after so long, I got to call Edward Masen my boyfriend. I know it sounds petty, if not a little immature, but I couldn't wait to run into Lauren with Edward by my side. I wanted to say something like 'You know my boyfriend Edward right?' Okay, so I will never actually do that, but it was fun to think about. Shit. Lauren. Was he still taking her to prom? I didn't think I could handle that.

"Are you still taking the Bimbo to the prom?" It was out of my mouth before I had a chance to think, my voice laced with discuss.

"Bimbo?" The look on his face was utter confusion, which quickly turned to amusement.

"No, I'm not taking Lauren to prom. She probably still thinks I am but…" He paused, leaning down so his lips grazed my ear. "I was actually planning on taking my girlfriend."

Edward pulled back smirking at me

"You might know her, Bella Swan, short, long chocolate brown hair, sexy as hell." Well isn't he just a damn charmer, I thought. I smiled up at him.

"I don't know about the sexy part, but she is one lucky girl." My voice had taken on a husky tone, I almost sounded sexy, almost. I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a long lingering kiss. I would never get tired of kiss him.

"Alright, cut that shit out. I may be supportive or whatever the hell you wanna call it, but I don't need to see that shit." Emmett yelled as he brought the pizzas in.

I chuckled and muttered, "Get use to it."

We took our pizzas into the living room and waited for Em to pick a movie. Of all the movies we had, the last thing I thought he would pick was Toy Story. Emmett said he needed a refresher before going to see the new one. I call bullshit. I knew why he really picked it, to get under my skin. Don't get me wrong, Toy Story is one of my all time favorites, but Emmett and I have been having the same argument since it came out. Who was better Woody or Buzz? I personally felt it was Woody, while Em felt Buzz was cooler. I wasn't playing his game today; I was in too good of a mood.

About halfway through Emmett asked, "Is it just me or did Pixar give those two dirty names?" By the look on his face he was completely serious. I looked at him like he had lost his damn mind. Leave it to my brother to make anything dirty.

"What? Don't look at me like that. How can you hear their names and not think something dirty?" He chuckled. "I mean really their names are Woody and Buzz." It was a little funny, I had to admit. Edward looked at us like we were nuts. It must be a twin thing.

Around ten, I started to get tired again. This damn ITP was kicking my ass. I tried to stifle a yawn but Edward caught it.

"Bell, why don't you go to bed, we have school tomorrow and I should really be getting home." He said as he went to get up but I pulled him back down. I leant over to whisper in his ear.

"Could you stay please?" I didn't want him to go. What if I had another breakdown? Yeah, Emmett was there but it just wasn't the same. Edward was the only one who could calm me down, sooth my worries.

"Okay that's my queue, night Isa. See you in the morning." Emmett said as he headed for the stairs.

"Night, Emmy." I called over my shoulder. I waited until he was out of ear shot to ask Edward again.

"Will you… stay? You don't have to if you don't want to?" I started to get nervous. Maybe he didn't want to stay with me. What if he thought this was to fast?

"Bell, I would love to stay but I don't think the Chief or Emmett would like that very much." He put his hand on my cheek, running his thumb along my bottom lip.

"Don't worry about Daddy. We will be at school before he gets off, and Em, well just leave him to me." I smiled and kissed his thumb.

"If you're sure," He was giving me an out, but I wasn't taking it.

"Positive, I really don't want to be alone tonight."

"Okay, let me call my Ma and tell her I'm staying with Emmett." I squealed a little and kissed him on his piercing.

"I'll go get changed and talk to Emmett give me fifteen minutes and then come up." Without waiting for his reply I took off for the stairs.

When I got to Emmett's room he was laying on his bed throwing a baseball up in the air. He looked lost in his thoughts, almost upset.

"Hey, Emmy can I talk to you for a sec?" I asked, hoping I wasn't the reason he was upset.

"Sure, what's up?" He smiled he trade mark smile, dimples and all.

"I uh wanted to let you know Edward is going to stay the night…with me." I said as sweetly as I could, just praying he wouldn't get all brother bear on me.

"Isa, if I don't say anything about how that really creeps me out, will you help me with something?" He sounded shy, which was just not Emmett, I was the shy one. As long as he wasn't going to freak out on me I'd help him with anything, within reason of course.

"What do you need help with?"

"Okay, umm… so I kind of want to ask someone to the prom but I'm not sure how to do it, she…well she can be pretty intimidating and… fuck…Is, I don't know what to do." He let out a frustrated sigh. This was not what I was expecting, at all. I could work with this. Intimidating? There was only one girl we knew who scared the shit out of all the boys. Rosalie.

"First of all you do know that the prom is a week away, right?" I asked sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Yeah, that is why I'm going crazy. I don't know if she is going with anyone else yet. What if I'm too late?"

"Okay, umm can you tell me who this girl is? It might help me to help you." Please, please say Rose.

"If I tell you, you have to promise not to say anything to anyone." He raised his eyebrow expectantly.

"Scouts honor."

"Rosalie." _YES!_ This was too perfect. We were all going to have our dream dates for prom.

"Well okay. All you have to do is ask her, but it wouldn't hurt to be a little creative. What have you thought of so far?" I asked truly excited.

"Don't laugh, but I know how much she love those rubber ducks and I found a really big one, I was going to write on its back 'Will you go to the prom with me'. Fuck that sounds stupid huh?" He was all flustered.

"Emmett, chill out. No it doesn't sound stupid, I think she'll love that, really." I couldn't believe how much he was spazing out over this, he either really liked her or he was afraid of losing his balls.

"Really, you think she will?" Emmett asked, his face full of hope. It was so cute.

"Yes, now I'm going to go change, Edward will be up here soon." I gave him a hug and turned to leave.

As I got to the door Emmett said, "I'm happy for you Isa, just be careful, alright?"

"I will Emmy don't worry."

When I got to my room I rushed to change into my night clothes. I decided to forgo my normal ratty sweats opting for a cute pair of pajama shorts and a matching top Alice had gotten me for my birthday last year. I quickly brushed my teeth and sat on my bed waiting for Edward. I didn't have to wait long before he knocked.

"Are you decent?" he asked through the door.

"Yes, come on in." I chuckled.

He opened the door and started walking in but then he stopped. He just stood there staring at me.

"What?" I asked feeling a little insecure.

"You lied, Bella." He paused.

"Edward…I lied?"

"You are utterly indecent – no one should look so tempting, it's not fair." His voice was low and husky as he walked towards me. His eyes seemed darker, his breathing heavier.

"I..." I didn't know what to say. All of a sudden it was really hot in my room.

Edward sat on the bed as he ran his fingers up and down my calf. My body seemed to ignite with his touch.

"So beautiful." He murmured quietly. He looked me in the eye as he leaned forward taking my bottom lip in between his, running his tongue along it. The moment our lips touched my mind shut off and my body took control. I fisted my hands in his hair pulling him to me wrapping my legs around his waist wanting to find purchase.

I moaned loudly when I felt his hand cup my breast. It felt so good to have his hands on me, touching me. I wanted more. More everything. More touching, kissing, skin. My hands moved to the hem of his shirt, tugging it upwards. Realizing what I wanted he pulled back and took it off. Oh god, he's perfect. I thought as he his shirt fell to the floor. I ran my hands down his chest almost reverently. Pushing his shoulders gently showing him that I wanted him to lay back I straddled his legs. I can honestly say I had no idea what I was doing, I was running on autopilot. I kissed him hungrily, sliding my tongue into his mouth tasting his warm rich flavor. Edward tasted like dark chocolate with a hint of mint, the same way he smelt. So terribly good.

Edward ran his fingers along the hem of my top and then moved his hands up underneath it. He lightly grazed the underside of my breast with his thumbs. He then proceeded to cup them, squeezing gently. I leant into his touch moaning loudly. Grinding myself into his now very hard erection, I finally got the friction I'd been wanting. From the groan that came from Edward, he liked it as much as I did.

"Oh god, Edward."

"Bella, ugh yes."

We started to move at a fevered pace. It felt like he was everywhere at once. Edward's hands were in my hair, on my hips, thighs and breasts. I kissed from his lips to his jaw, and up to his ear, nibbling on the lobe. I continued to grind myself on him shamelessly. All you could hear was our panting and the occasional moan.

I realized suddenly that I was close, so very close to falling off the edge of bliss.

"Edward …. I'm… ugh so close." I moan into his ear.

"Baby… me… too." He panted.

He griped my hips, pulling me down harder to him. Edward began moving with me, faster rougher. He moved one of his hands up cupping my breast, then pinched my nipple. That was my undoing, my climax racked my body. I lost all coherent thought. I felt like I was in another world.

The next thing I knew, Edward was rolling me over onto the bed, kissing down my neck. I felt like my bones where made of jelly, I couldn't move. I didn't want too.

"Bella, baby, are you okay?" Edward asked sweetly.

I couldn't stop the giggle the left my lips. "Edward, I am better than ok, wow…just wow."

"I know exactly what you mean…wow." He breathed against my neck.

My eyes started to grow heavy, sleep ready to take me.

"Goodnight, Edward." I whispered.

"Sweet dreams, Bell." He draped his arm over my waist, pulling me closer. Then he was singing, it was soft and quite. I recognized the lyric immediately.

_How does it feel to know you're everything I need_

_The butterflies in my stomach_

_They could bring me to my knees_

_How does it feel to know you're everything I want_

_I've got a hard time saying this_

_So I'll sing it in a song_

I soon fell into a blissful sleep. Dreaming of the boy with his arm around me, singing about how much he wanted and needed me. So much.

* * *

_*peeks out from behind computer*_

So? The little lemon? What did you think? Let me know.

Reviews make me very very happy! They also make me wanna write.

ECLIPSE came out yesterday! Did you see it! I did. I loved it.

_The things that had me distracted_:

**_Game, Set, Love by His Sparklyness- www_****(dot) fanfiction(dot)net/s/5925186/1/**

It is simply fantastic! Tennisward , Smashella just awesome!

**_Don't Take the Girl by SparklingWand_****_ - _****www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5930569/1/**

This is amazing! That is all I'll say about that. AMAZING!

**_Secret Sex by erinbatt_******– **http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5806017/1/**

I found this through Twitter. Holy Wow! This just awesome and my biggest distraction by far. I am only 12 chapters in but wow, so good.

Meg : )


	5. Untouched

**AN: Sorry if you got an update saying it was posted, FanFic was being a Pain.**

**Let me say sorry for the delay. I had a horrible case of writers' block. My muse and I were not getting along. But it's all good now. Thank you to everyone who reviewed. The reviews mean the world to me.**

**Brittan as always thanks for the many many pushes.**

**And of course my Wonderful, Amazing Beta Angel! She make what I write look very pretty.**

**Anyways on with the story…**

**I don't own anything but the plot everything else is S. Meyer's**

* * *

I feel so untouched and I want you so much that I just can't resist you

It's not enough to say that I miss you

I feel so untouched right now

Need you so much somehow

I can't forget you

Been going crazy from the moment I met you

**Untouched - The Veronicas**

**Chapter 5 - Untouched**

"So beautiful." He whispered against my shoulder.

The combination of his warm breath and the cool metal of his lip piercing set my skin on fire. It felt like every nerve ending throughout my body was being touched. His fingers glided slowly along the skin between the hem of my shirt and the waist of my shorts. He began kissing my shoulder and up my neck, stopping at my ear to suck on my lobe making me shiver. He made the same circuit three more times before I stretched my neck back to give him better access. I moaned as his hand started to travel up my stomach to my breasts.

"Bella, baby wake up." What? I thought…

The previous day came flooding back to me. The crying, the kissing and the confessions, so much had happened. The more conscious I became the more came back to me. My panic attack and the way he brought me back from the edge. He was so calm and understanding. Then… oh my god… I'm Edward Masen's girlfriend and I'm going to the prom with him.

I realized he was still talking to me, trying to wake me. I spun in his arms to face him, smiling brightly.

"Well, good morning beautiful," Edward said as he kissed my forehead, nose, and then my lips.

"How are you feeling this morning?" he asked with that crooked smile of his.

How was I feeling? Was he serious? Then I remembered our rather intense make out… okay so it was more of a dry hump. Holy shit! I had my first orgasm and I didn't even take my clothes off. Of course Edward would be that amazing that he could get me off while still being fully clothed. But wait did he…finish? Did he enjoy it?

"Bella, where did you go? You kinda spaced out." He said pushing my hair off my face.

"I was …umm thinking about…umm last night." I squeaked.

"Ahh…, that would explain that blush of yours." He smiled and kissed my cheek.

I'm sure my blush got deeper as I thought about what I was going to ask him. How do you ask a guy if he came and if he liked it? Is it bad that I don't remember? I'm not even his girlfriend for a day and I already suck at it.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked. I guess I wasn't doing too good a job hiding the fact that I was freaking out.

"I was just wondering…" I paused. How the hell do I ask this? Just do it, fast like a band aid.

"Did you… Edward did you finish…last night? I mean…umm did you enjoy it?" After I asked I hid my face in his chest. I really couldn't look at him when he started to laugh like I was sure he would.

The laughing never came, not a sound. I risked more embarrassment and peaked up and what I saw shock the hell out of me. The look in his green eyes was so intense, a cross between desire and mischief. This was the complete opposite of what I was expecting, it confused me.

"Isabella, did you just ask me if I enjoyed what we did last night?" his voice was husky and yet incredulous as well. Before I could answer he spoke again.

"Baby, you really don't have a clue what you do to me, do you?"

I shrugged my shoulders. What did he want me to say? I was still trying to figure out why he wanted me of all people. Why me, I'm not anything special?

"Do you really think that?" he asked as he pulled back to see my face.

"What?" I didn't think I said anything.

"That you're not special." I really have to start paying more attention to what comes out of my mouth.

Again I shrug my shoulders. Edward pulled us up so that we were sitting, me in his lap facing him. He brought his hands up to cup my face and kissed me lightly on the lips.

"Bella Swan you are special, so special to everyone who knows you, but especially me." His voice was soft.

"Why?"

He sighed, it sounded annoyed. Great now I'm annoying, wonderful.

"Bella, you can be so frustrating sometimes." He laughed. "But that is one of the many things I love about you." Edward kissed my nose.

"I told you yesterday, but if I tell you again will you believe me this time and stop questioning my feelings for you, please?" he asked. I nodded not knowing what to say.

"Your special to me for so many reasons, you're one of the most caring and kind people I have ever met. I mean, taking care of Emmett is no small feat." I couldn't help but laugh. "And you do it with a smile. You put everyone before yourself and yet you don't take anyone's shit. But the most important reason is you get me, you Bella Swan understand how I tick, which is certainly a first." He paused, just staring at me with those beautiful clover green eyes of his. I couldn't look away. "That is why I want you." He added.

I didn't know what to say, so I kissed him, hard. I poured everything I had into the kiss. I wanted him to know that I believed him and that I wouldn't question him again. I slowly opened my mouth, inviting him in, morning breath be damned. He eagerly accepted, sliding his tongue over my bottom lip and into my mouth. There is nothing like kissing Edward Mason, nothing at all. I forgot where I was and what had been said the only thing I knew was that Edward was kissing me.

The kiss quickly changed to a lust filled make out session. His hands roamed all over my body while mine stayed firmly planted in his think hair. He started kissing down my neck toward my chest. My breath came in short quick bursts in anticipating of what was to come. Edward quickly lifted me off his lap and laid me down. I groaned I didn't want this to end yet.

He settled himself between my thighs, leaning forward; braced on his elbows he sucked my bottom lip into his mouth. I moaned loudly as I sucked on his top lip.

"Bella you didn't think I was going to stop there, did you?" He asked with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"I did," I said running my finger up his chest and into his hair pulling him closer.

"No, I most certainly will not be stopping there," he said before he nibbled on the spot behind my ear. I moaned and bucked my hips, trying to get some much needed friction. He reciprocated by grinding his impressively hard length right where I needed him.

"Oh… god!" I panted. The way he made me feel should be illegal.

BANG BANG BANG

"You two need to knock that shit off! I really don't wanna hear that." Emmett yelled as he almost took my door down.

I groaned, but not from pleasure this time. Oh my god. Emmett heard us. I didn't think we were being that loud. Edward rolled off me muttering something; all I caught was 'cockblock' and 'asshole'. Someone's not happy I see and he isn't the only one.

"This is completely mortifying, was I that loud?" I could feel my blush darken as I spoke.

"No," he answered too quickly. I give him the don't- you-fuckin –lie- to- me look.

"Ok, fine you were a little loud." He concedes and pulls me close. "But I like hearing you," he said against my lips.

"Well, next time tell me to shut up." I sniggered.

"Oh, no I'm making no promises." Edward kissed me again then got off my bed.

"Hey, where do you think you're going mister?" I asked pulling on his arm. I wanted him to stay in bed with me.

"Well, seeing as it is Monday I believe I am going to school. How about you?"

"Smart-ass. I'm going to take a shower. Meet you downstairs?" I laughed

"Actually, I'm going to run to my house shower and then come back and get you." He said pulling me into a hug.

"You can shower here." I was pouting. Get it together Bella. Stop being clingy.

"I would Love, but I really need to change my clothes." He raised his eyebrows as if he was trying to say something without actually saying it. I just stared at him like he was crazy.

"You're going to make me say it huh?"

"What?" I really was confused.

"Let's just say I had too much fun last night and I am really uncomfortable right now."He said again with eyebrows. It took me a second but then it hit me…hard.

"Oh…OH!" I smiled. I got the answer to my earlier question. "Okay, you go home and shower I'll be ready when you get back." I gave him a quick kiss and said goodbye before heading to my bathroom.

* * *

After I took a quick shower I got dressed in a pair of jeans and one of the many old band shirts my dad gave me, along with my purple chucks. I pulled my hair into a sloppy bun, put on some mascara and a little lip gloss. I wanted to put more effort in to my appearance but there wasn't much time for that. Alice was going to shit a brick when she saw my hair. Oh well not much I could do about it, at least I put mascara on.

As I was walking down the stairs I realized something. He called me Love. I almost fell down the stairs as I began to imagine what that could mean. Could he love me or was that just a cute nickname? We never really said last night if he did or not. I want this feeling to be love; I just think it is too soon to tell. I started to think myself dizzy; literally, I had to close my eyes to regain my balance. Just enjoy it, no need to get all worked up. I chastised myself.

Emmett was sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of Fruity Pebbles when I walked in. I tried very hard not to look at him; I was still completely embarrassed about him hearing me with Edward. It's not like I could help it though, Edward does something to me and I get lost in him, I don't realize I'm being loud.

I wanted to make some chocolate chip waffles but there wasn't enough time, so I decided on a sesame seed bagel with cream cheese instead.

"You know you can't avoid me forever." Emmett said from behind me.

"Yeah, I know." I sighed and finally turn to looked at him. Emmett smiled his big goofy dimpled grin and the awkwardness slowly dissipates. We may be twins but we were fraternal twins and Em looked just like our mother, with his bright blue eyes and dark blonde hair. I on the other hand look just like my dad.

"So are you going to ask Rose today?" I asked trying to get away from discussing anything to do with me.

"Ah…I was thinking about tomorrow, I don't have the duck yet and I want to make sure it is perfect ya know?" I have never seen Emmett this nervous before, it was cute.

"Yeah, I get it as long as you do it and don't chicken out." I smiled at him.

"Oh, I won't as long as you're sure she'll say yes." he states.

"Emmett will you answer a question for me?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"What exactly are your feelings for Rosalie?" I had to know before I told him anything. He sighed.

"Bella, ugh… I like her and I am really fuckin nervous about asking her. I mean she scares the shit out of me," I can't help but laugh, she can be scary "but not in a bad way. Rose is different than all the other girls; she's not superficial or fake, she is…real. And I have seen behind that hard exterior she has up all the time and I like it." I was really just looking for something like 'I like her' but it's good to know he has actual feelings for her.

"Shit, Bella don't tell her I said that shit." His blue eyes were pleading with me.

"Wow umm okay, I won't tell her anything." I said still a little shocked from all the new information.

"I'm going to tell you something Em and if you say one word to anybody I will cheerfully beat you to death, got it?" He needed to know I meant business, if word got back to Rose I would be dead.

"I swear I won't say a word." He does the whole scouts honor thing while smiling.

"Emmett Charles Swan I am dead serious." I stand putting my hands on my hips.

"Jeez Bells point taken." He said holding up his hand in surrender.

"Okay" I sigh and sit back down "Emmett, Rose likes you, I mean really likes you. I can't really say anymore than that. But if you screw this up I'll kick your ass."

"I won't Bella. I promise." He gets up and puts his bowl in the sink then gives me a hug.

"What was that for?" I asked stepping back from our hug.

"Just for listening, that's all." He said kissing my forehead before turning and heading out of the kitchen.

* * *

Edward arrives about ten minutes later in his shiny black 1970 Chevelle. His father Edward Senior left the beautiful car to him in his will. According to Esme the car was Edward's fathers pride and joy until his son came along. Edward was only three years old when his parents passed away but Carlisle and Esme kept the Chevelle in good condition; they gave it to him on his sixteenth birthday. The car was now Edward's pride and joy. I would be lying if I said I hadn't had many a fantasy about Edward, myself and that car. I was totally in lust with his car.

On the ride to school he told me how he had to dodge all of Alice's twenty questions about what happen yesterday. There was no doubt in my mind that she already knew something happened between us. I was also positive that is was driving her bat-shit insane not knowing what it was that actually went on.

When we pulled into the parking lot I could see that Alice was already there standing with Jasper. He parked next to her bright yellow mustang; their family loved their cars.

Edward hopped out quickly opening my door and then helping me out. He put his arm around my waist leaning in to whisper.

"You ready for this?" I'm not sure if he meant the force that is Alice or all the people staring at us as we walk toward the school, either way I was. I couldn't wait to finally be the girl walking down the hall with Edward Mason at my side.

"I am," I said confidently and gave his a quick kiss. He smiled and kissed me back.

"I knew it, I freaking knew it!" Alice squealed as she ran over to me wrapping me in a tight hug.

"So you guys are together, finally?" she asked stepping back with a huge smile on her face.

"Ye…" I stared to answer but was cut off by Edward.

"Alice I believe you know my girlfriend Bella." I couldn't help the goofy-ass grin that spread across my face. He was such a corn-ball.

"Oh my gosh, I am so freaking happy for you two. But Bella really just because you got the guy doesn't mean you stop trying. What the hell did you do to your hair?" I knew that was coming.

"Alice I didn't have much time, I'm lucky I got to have breakfast. So would you just chill, please." I wasn't dealing with this shit today.

"Alright, for today only." She conceded.

"I'm so excited you two are together now." She squealed again jumping up and down and I joined her, I was too happy to even care about all the extra stares we got.

Jasper came over and said it was about damn time as the first bell rang. Edward walked me to my first hour Algebra class. We stopped right outside the door with me leaning against the wall. He put his hands on my waist bending down to kiss me. It was a slow sensual kiss and I again got lost in him until I heard someone say 'get a room'. I pulled back blushing tomato red, looking around for who said it when I saw Angela looking at me laughing.

Angela was one of the few people I talked to outside of our little group. She was funny and quirky; her personality was most definitely left of center. Every week her hair was a different color and her outfits always matched her hair, this week it was bright green on top and black on the bottom. She was wearing a black skirt with green fishnet stockings and an old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles T-shirt, to finish she had on a pair of black chucks with green laces.

I smirked at her and then flipped her off. She walked over with a look of innocence on her face.

"You two really should take that public indecency somewhere else it's very rude." Ang tried to keep a straight face but couldn't. She had no room to talk, I had seen her numerous times with her long time boyfriend Ben practically having sex in the hallway.

"You of all people have no room to talk about public indecency." I chuckled.

"You are correct there B." She laughed. "Come on let's get in there so we can see Mrs. Haler lose her shit because Tyler hid her coffee cup again. I nodded and said I'd be there in a second.

"I'll see you at lunch?" Edward asked.

"Of course." I kissed his viper bite.

"I can't wait for lunch." He pulled me into a tight hug.

"Me neither." I pulled away

"Bye Love." He turned and walked away. I won't lie, I watched his ass as he walked away. Delicious

As Angela predicted we had to wait while Haler went nuts trying to fine her coffee cup, which was in the same place Tyler always hid it, in her potted plant.

"So, you gonna tell me when the fuck happened," Ang whispers pointing to my neck.

"What?" I ask lifting my hand to my neck.

"Oh, nothing just that big ass hickie on your neck," she said nonchalantly.

"No." I'm sure my eyes were bigger that saucers. I immediately pulled out my little pocket mirror. I looked but did't see anything.

"You, Angela Weber are a bitch." I huff but I can't help but laugh.

"I know… but you should have… seen your face. Fucking priceless," she said between bouts of laughter.

The day goes by so slowly, it was excruciating. In my second hour history class I started to hear the rumors. I apparently was topic of choice in our little school. Fainting in the hallway is big news. Some of my favorite rumors were that I was still drunk from the night before and that I had had an overdose on the multiple drugs I was on. These were all logical reasons for me passing out, I mean I am the daughter of the Chief of Police, I must rebel somehow. Morons.

Another rumor was that I was anorexic and hadn't eaten in days and it had finally caught up with me. Really, me anorexic, please had they not seen me. I am not ashamed to say I love my food…a lot. People really had too much time on their hands and they weren't even that creative.

I tried my hardest to just ignore them but it was hard. When word got around about Edward and I, the rumors got worse. He was only with me because he felt sorry for me. He just wanted to make sure that I was okay and then he was going to dump me for one of the prettier blonde girls. These wouldn't have hurt so much if I hadn't already thought them myself. I also knew though that they weren't true, they were just rumors made up by pathetic jealous bitches. I knew Edward and I had promised I wouldn't doubt his feelings for me. I believed he cared for me; still those things would always be in the back of my mind.

By the time lunch came around I was exhausted both mentally and physically. When I finally got to the cafeteria and saw Edward sitting there looking at me I felt a strange sense of relief wash over me. I didn't become conscious of how anxious I was until I saw his beautiful face. I somehow managed to walk over to our table, although I don't really remember how. Then I was in his arms, I couldn't remember ever being so happy.

"I missed you, Love." He whispered against my lips.

"Mmm, me to, I didn't realize how much until I saw you." I smiled and sucked his lip piercing into my mouth. He moaned loudly making me giggle.

"Would you two please knock that shit off, it is very disturbing." Emmett whined behind us.

"Emmett shut up and let them enjoy their new found happiness," Alice said smacking him playfully.

"Yeah Emmie, let us be happy." I teased as I sat down next to him.

"You'll pay for that Isa," He grumbled.

Edward sat down next to me pulling me close kissing my neck. I will never get use to the feeling of his lips on my skin, so wonderful.

"So have you guys heard all the rumors going around." I asked. They were all silent.

"Oh come on, I have heard most of them and they are all beyond ridiculous." I laughed, they seemed to relax a bit after that.

"What have you heard?" Edward whispered

"Umm, a lot of things, I'm a drunk, a junkie, anorexic, you're taking pity on me," I said the last part softly hoping against hope he wouldn't hear it. I should have known better.

"You know that's not true right? I'm not taking pity on you I want to be with you…always have…I" His voice was strong and his eyes were so intense with an emotion I could never place. I cut him off with a kiss.

"I know baby, I told you, I wouldn't doubt you and I don't. It still hurts though. Why girls have to be so catty is beyond me." I kissed him one more time and Alice started asking me about everything that had happened yesterday. I was more than happy to tell her.

Rose eventually showed up and she didn't look so good. I couldn't help but notice that Emmett watched her every move; I wondered if he had always done that or if it was new habit.

She told us she had had a shitty weekend with her parents. That had been fighting all day Sunday. They sprung the news that they were moving to New York, in two months and expected her to come with them. She fought tooth and nail stating she was already accepted to the University of Washington. She reminded them that we were all moving to Seattle at the end of July. Her parents still wouldn't budge. Rose finally told them she was an adult and would find somewhere else to live.

Alice immediately offered that she could stay with them stating that her parents wouldn't mind. Rose said that for now she would stay at her house, her parents were going to New York for two weeks to go over all the final details.

Until Rose brought it up I had completely forgotten about college. I had understandably had a lot on my mind. Now I had one more thing to worry about. I still hadn't gotten an acceptance letter from Le Cordon Bleu Seattle although Jasper had already received his. We had discovered that we loved everything about food in our Foods class in freshmen year. That brought us closer together. We could talk for hours about anything related to cooking or baking. Jasper and I often talked about owning our own diner, where I would do all the baking and he would do all the cooking. We were really going to try to do it, which is of course, if I got accepted. I did get accepted to UW and I had no idea what I would do there. I want to be a chef and I really couldn't do that there.

I was dragged from my wondering thoughts by Emmett getting up so fast his chair hit the ground and he then stormed off.

"What happen?" I asked.

"Nothing. I was just telling Alice that Paul asked me to go to the Prom with him and I said yes." Rose stated as if it were obvious. Paul?

"Paul who?" I asked

"Paul Young, dark hair and eyes great body" she described.

"You're going to the Prom with that asshole?" Oh no, oh no no no no this cannot be happening.

"Yeah, but he's not an asshole Bella. He was very sweet."

"Oh Shit, I'll be back." I got up and ran the direction I saw Emmett go.

When I got to the hall I could see Emmett heading for the door to the parking lot.

"Emmett wait!" I shouted. He turned to look at me briefly but kept right on walking. I started to run I couldn't let him get away without talking about it. I had to fix this, it was my fault he was upset. I caught up to him just as he was getting in his truck. I climbed in the passenger side.

"Isabella, you told me she liked me and now she is going to the Prom with that jackass." I flinched, he never called me Isabella. Hell, he hardly called me Bella. Oh god, he is so mad.

"Em, I am so sorry I never thought she would go with anyone else, I swear." My voice was thick and tears pricked my eyes. "Please don't be made at me, it will work out somehow, I will fix it. I promise." The tears started to pour. I didn't want him mad at me besides being my twin he was one of my best friends and having him mad at me was one of the worst feelings in the world.

"Isa, I'm not mad at you, come here." He opened his arms and I went eagerly. He hugged me tight as he spoke.

"I'm just really pissed at myself. I should have asked her weeks ago, I wanted to but I was afraid of being turned down. I so fuckin stupid." He sighed. "And what is worse is she's now going with the biggest douche bag ever, I mean I know I'm no prize but Paul. He treats girls like shit; as soon as he's slept with them he dumps them."

"I know Em, I have no idea why she would be going with him of all people, but I will figure something out. You two are perfect for each other," I said giving him a squeeze.

"You don't have to do an…" He started but I interrupted.

"Yes, I do. So just shut up because I'm stubborn and nothing you can say will stop me."

After that he said he wanted to be alone with his thoughts and I let him be, it was the least I could do. Back at the table Edward asked if everything was alright, I told him no but it would be. I knew one way or another those two would get together.

* * *

The rest of the week flew by with studying for finals and seeing Edward whenever I could. The rumors at school had somehow gotten worse, if not utterly ridiculous. Now I had fainted last week because I was carrying Edward's baby. Before Sunday I hadn't even kissed a guy yet let alone have sex with one. They were also saying that Edward apparently was cheating on the Bimbo with me, when in fact it had been that tramp cheating on him. I'll give you three guesses who started that one. People are so gullible, they will believe anything.

Despite how busy we were with finals a week away we managed to be together almost all the time, we were just never alone. There was always someone there, Emmett, Alice, our parents. We had snuck in a couple make out sessions here and there but we never did anything other than kissing. To say I was getting a tiny bit frustrated would be a vast understatement. I wanted him so bad I felt like I was going crazy.

Edward seemed to be handling all the cock-blocking about as well as I was. He had snaped at Alice more than once and the only time he seemed to relax was when we would be riding in his car to and from school.

On Friday when we got to his house we discovered no one else was home. Thinking we would finally get some privacy we headed up to his room. Once we were on the couch in his bedroom Edward took my shirt off and began kissing along the edge of my bra. I was running my hands through his hair while rubbing myself against his stiff cock. It felt so good; it had been way too long since we had been together like this. All you could hear was our panting and the occasional moan or groan.

Then his door flew open.

"Oh shit sorry guys." Alice squeaked, turning around and shutting the door as quickly as she came in.

"Every damn time." Edward muttered resting his head on my chest.

"I know, it's so fucking frustrating, we never get to be alone." I groaned.

"How about we go out tomorrow just you and me on a date, we can go see a movie and go to dinner?" he asks against my collarbone.

"Oh that feels… I mean sounds wonderful." I moaned. He chuckled but continued to kiss me all over.

"Edward we should really stop… someone is bound to come in here again." I breathed out.

"I know I just don't wanna stop, you taste so good." He grumbled then continued licking my neck.

There was a knock on the door.

"Edward, sweetheart I brought dinner home. I expect you and Bella downstairs in ten minutes." Esme called through the door.

"We'll be down in a minute, Ma," he shouted back. I went to get off his lap but he held me down.

"Where do you think you're going?" Edward asked with a devilish smirk.

"I'm going to put my shirt back on. Your mother just told us to be down there in ten minutes." I huffed.

"Yes, we still have about eight or nine of those minutes left and I'm not done with you yet." A devilish smirk still firmly in place.

"Oh, really? What can you do in eight minutes?" I cocked an eyebrow at him, grinning.

Suddenly I was on my back and Edward on top of me with his lips at my ear. I could feel the cool metal of the viper bite move against my ear as he spoke.

"Do you doubt my skills, Isabella?" He asked while grinding his hard on into me.

"Not at all, I just think that it would be teasing, I want you for much longer than a mere eight minutes," I said as I bit his ear lobe.

"Ugh… point taken." He groaned kissing me quickly and then he was gone.

After I was sufficiently dressed and we didn't look like we had been up to no good we made our way down to the dining room. There at the table sat Esme, Carlisle, Alice and Jasper, all but Esme had knowing looks on their faces. Esme smiled warmly as she got up to hug me.

"Bella sweetheart, how are you feeling?" She hugged me tightly and I love every second of it. Since my mother wasn't around Esme had stepped up and become a mother figure for Emmett and myself.

"I feel good. How are you?" I ask as we sit down to eat. She brought home Italian from the little place in town.

"I'm fine dear, happy to finally get to see you, what with Edward hogging you all the time." She giggled.

The conversation flowed easily after that. Jasper asked if I had received my acceptance letter yet and I had to tell him that I was still waiting. He assured me that if he could get in, there was no doubt that I would. I wasn't so sure but I thanked him nonetheless. Carlisle, ever the doctor asked me how I had been feeling. I answered truthfully that I had only had a couple dizzy spells but that I was much better. He reminded me that I had an appointment next Wednesday. I had honestly forgotten about that, Edward had been keeping me very distracted lately.

"Alright, I think it's time to get you home." Edward said as he stood up from the table.

"Edward, it is only seven thirty." I didn't know why I would have to leave now.

"Oh I know but you need to get some sleep, I have a big day planned for tomorrow." He smirked.

"Where are we going?" I asked with a sly smile as I got up from my chair.

"If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise, and I know how much you just love surprises." He said sarcastically. Ass!

"Fine." I grumbled.

We said goodbye to his family and made our way out to his Chevelle. The drive to my house was quiet, we just held hands and listen to the music and the radio. When we pulled up in front of my home I could see that my dad's cruiser wasn't there. He must be working late again. I thought

Edward swiftly turned to car off and got out coming to my side to open the door for me. Once we were on the porch he turned to me give me a long passionate kiss then pulled away.

"Goodnight Love. I'll be here to pick you up at ten in the morning." He said and began to turn away.

"Edward, don't you wanna come in…my dad's not home…we could…" I didn't want him to leave yet, and if my dad wasn't here by now that meant he was working all night. I wanted him to stay dammit.

"No Love, not tonight." He kissed my nose. "There will be plenty of time for that tomorrow." I kind of just gawked at him. What could he have planned? Whatever it was it sounded very intriguing.

"Now, go get some sleep. You're going to need all your energy for what I have planned." Edward kissed me once more then turned and walked down the stairs.

"Goodnight Baby!" I called before turning and heading into the house.

I went to bed that night mildly frustrated and extremely curious about what tomorrow might hold. I drifted off to sleep as I let the music from my iPod lull me to sleep.

* * *

**So what did you think? Let me know. I love reviews and i might just give teasers to those who review. **

**I now have a Facebook page for So Much. There are pictures and other fun things if your interested. The link is on my profile.**

**My distractions this time are:**

_**Imperador by Mariamaral www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5936153/1/**_

_**Hide & Drink By Savage7289 www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5722450/1/**_

_**Game, Set, Love by His Sparklyness- www(dot) fanfiction(dot)net/s/5925186/1/ **_

**Until next time ( I promise it won't be that long)**

**Meg**


	6. Just Like Heaven

**(sorry if you again got a email saying it posted FFn was being an ass again)**

**Twilight and its characters are not mine as much as I wish they were. The plot and the words I've written are however, so don't steal them please.**

**AN: I'll do my apologizing and thanks at the bottom. On with the show**

* * *

_**You, soft and only**_

_**You, lost and lonely**_

_**You, just like heaven**_

_**Just Like Heaven - Katie Melua**_

**Chapter 6 – Just Like Heaven**

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I knew who it was instantly. After that night he sang me to sleep it had become my favorite song.

_How does it feel to know you're everything I need_

_The butterflies in my stomach_

_They could bring me to my knees_

"Good morning, baby." My voice was thick with sleep.

"Good morning to you too, Love." I could just tell he was smiling when he said that. "Are you excited about our first real date?" he asked.

"I am but I wouldn't say it's our first though, this would be our second," I said smiling into the phone.

"So, you count Sunday as our first date, the day of confessions and breakdowns?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Yes, I do actually. It wasn't all bad, was it?" I asked.

"I do remember quite a bit of kissing and I believe there was some dry hump-age," he said with a loud laugh.

"Edward!" I yelled but couldn't hide the giggle that escaped.

"What? It happened, I am just stating a fact." He was still laughing.

"Oh, I remember," I said in a daze as I thought back to that day. The way he touched me, he made me feel so wonderful, so special. My body was tingling just thinking about it.

"Bella, are you still there?"

"What, oh yeah I'm here, sorry," I said shyly. Thank God he couldn't see me. My blush would have given my thoughts away instantly.

"Baby, you are bright red aren't you?" he asked. I could hear the amusement in his voice and it bugged me for some reason.

"Edward was there a specific reason you called or did you just wanna embarrass me?" I asked slightly harsher than I originally intended.

"Shit, Love I didn't mean to upset you. I called to tell you to wear your chucks and something comfortable. We aren't going anywhere fancy," he said, shame coloring his voice. I was being an idiot.

"I'm not upset, just embarrassed," I sighed "So I am just supposed to wear what I do everyday then?" I asked.

"Yeah, babe just jeans and a T-shirt, I'll be there in about an hour okay?" He sounded nervous, at least I wasn't the only one.

"Alright, then I'm gonna go get ready, see you in a few," I said smiling.

"Bye Love." Then he was gone.

I sat there for just a second thinking about what he could have planned for today. The possibilities were endless. I was happy we weren't going anywhere that I had to dress up for, that would just have made me more anxious than I already was.

I grabbed my iPod and a clean pair of black panties and a matching bra and headed for my bathroom. I pulled open the white shower curtain with muted purple leaves on it, and turned the shower on. My bathroom was designed to be tranquil; I think that is what Alice had said when she helped me decorate it. The walls were a light purple almost gray color. The floor had a purple rug on the white tiles. It was very calming, if I ever had the time to just relax, but I was always in and out.

I turn my iPod up as loud as I could, stripped, and got into the shower. I let the music and the hot water wash away my anxiety, for the time being. I didn't understand why I was so nervous about today; it was just going to be Edward and me, nothing out of the norm. Maybe that was it though; it was different because it would be just him and I alone all day. We hadn't been alone by ourselves since Sunday which was nearly a week ago.

I got out of the shower dried off, wrapped my hair in a towel and put on my clean underwear. Once back in my room I threw on a pair of jeans and my favorite James Dean T-shirt; it was black with a picture from the famous Torn Sweater shoot, and my Chucks.

I took my hair out of the towel, dried it a little and made my way downstairs into the kitchen. I needed some coffee; it was too early to be up on a Saturday. I turned the corner and saw my dad sitting at the table, cup of coffee in one hand and newspaper in the other. I felt a smile spread across my face. I hadn't seen him that much the past week with the crazy hours he was working. I missed him.

"Hey Pumpkin, how are you feeling?" Dad asked with a goofy grin.

"I feel pretty good."

"Why are you up so early?" he asked.

That was when I remembered that I hadn't told my father that I was now 'dating' Edward. Dad had been so busy with work this past week that I really hadn't seen him, even to say hi or bye let alone have a conversation about my new boyfriend. I swallowed hard I really didn't want to have that talk with him now, but I really didn't have a choice.

"Well dad, I um… IhaveadatewithEdwardMasen," I said in a rush.

I had no idea how he was going to take it, my dad was very protective of me. He had told me many times that I was not allowed to date until I was thirty. You would think he was joking, doing the typical dad thing, but the look on his face was very serious at the time.

"What was that Bells?" he asked.

"Um...I said that I have a date with Edward Masen today." I repeated as I peeked over at him.

"You have a date with Edward, huh?" he asked with this weird smile.

"Yes?" It came out as a question.

"Isabella, do you really think that I don't know you're dating Edward?" he asked but didn't give me time to reply. "I am the Chief of Police and this town ain't that big." He chuckled. "Especially, with the way Mrs. Stanley runs her mouth all the time." This was so bizarre, he wasn't mad or upset but he almost seemed …happy?

"So, you aren't mad?" I had to know, he was kind of freaking me out a little. I mean Edward had a tattoo and a piercing, all the things fathers typically hated in guys their daughters wanted to date.

"Why the hell would I be mad? You could do a hell of a lot worse than him." I just stared at him, confused. I opened my mouth to speak but then closed it, not knowing what to say.

"When he does get here though I am going to speak with him." Dad said after a moment.

"You don't have to..." I was cut off by my father's grumbling

"The hell I don't! If he wants to date my only little girl he will sit his ass down at this table and have a damn talk with me," he huffed.

"Dad, all I was going to say was you don't have to do the whole 'I will kill you with my gun if you hurt my baby' crap. Em already did that. Well, not the gun part but the kill him part. Edward won't hurt me dad. I know he won't," I said quietly as I finally poured myself the coffee I came for.

"I'm sure he won't either Pumpkin but I still need to talk with him. I'm your dad and it's just what dads do, try to scare off any boy who tries to steal our daughters," he said with a chuckle. I walked over and sat down next to him with my mug.

"Dad, please don't try and scare him. He has been so good to me. Edward helped me out of what could have been very bad panic attacks," I said looking into my coffee; I didn't want to look at him when I told him about the attacks.

"Bella, you've been having panic attacks?" he asked softly but I could hear the fear in his voice.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me, Bells. I need to know these things," he said as he pushed some of my hair out of my face.

This was the side of my dad I've missed, the caring, loving side. I know he loves me but it is still nice to see sometimes. I use to see it all the time when we were all together but after the divorce and the move to Chicago, it hasn't come out that much.

"I know, but I haven't seen you much and they haven't been that bad. Edward is good at getting them to stop; he helps me focus on something other than the panic." I didn't realize I was crying until dad wiped a tear from my cheek. Damn ITP has me more emotional than PMS.

"I am so sorry about not being here more often. I want to be, really, but it's hard," he sighed. I nodded not really knowing what to say.

"What has you panicking, Bells?"

"Um… I was … am afraid of dying but I'm okay now," I mumbled, as tears leaked from my eyes. I wiped them away fast, feeling embarrassed.

"Bella, Honey you know you're not going to die right?" dad asked, his voice cracked a little.

"I know dad, but at the time that was all I could think about." I sniffed. "Until Edward helped me stop thinking about it. That's why I think you should take it easy on him." My tears slowed and I finally looked up at him. He looked incredibly worried and a little bit scared. After a minute he sighed and spoke.

"I can't make any promises but I'll try. Okay?" he grumbled.

"That is all I'm asking." I smiled and stood up. "I have to go finish getting ready."

Dad stood quickly and pulled me into a tight, warm hug. "Baby, I am happy you're okay and you seem happier than I have seen you in a long time. That is all a father could ever want. A happy health child," he said as he squeezed me a little tighter then kissed my forehead.

I really couldn't say anything, I nodded and kissed his cheek before grabbing my coffee and headed back upstairs.

XoxoX

"Dad, we have to go. I'll call you if I'm going to be late," I said as I pull Edward out the door.

My father thankfully didn't pull out his gun but he decided to play his own weird version of twenty questions. He asked Edward everything you could possibly think of.

As soon as Edward got to the house dad started in on him. I groaned as he asked with an evil smile,

"How fast do you drive, Son? You sure did get here fast." Edward was not fazed though, answering quickly.

"I might drive a little over the speed limit sir, but I did leave a bit early." I smiled at my dad and he just rolled his eyes.

It went on from there with things like 'Have ever been in an accident?' 'Do you drink or smoke?' 'Have you ever done any drugs?' 'What are your grades like?' 'What are you plans after school?'

It went on and on, but Edward answered every question. And my father seemed pretty happy with every response he received. The one that got the biggest smile out of my dad was Edward's answer to 'What are your intentions with my daughter?'

"Chief, I really can't say what will happen in the future, but I can say that I just want to make Bella happy and keep her safe, for as long as she will let me." I won't lie I melted into a little puddle of goo. Talk about swoon worthy. The thing is, you could tell he wasn't just saying it to win over my father. Edward really meant every word he said.

Once we were finally safely inside the Chevelle I leant over and kissed him with so much passion. My nerves from earlier seemed to have disappeared.

"Mmm, what was that for?" he asked against my lips.

"For being so great in there, my dad can be a bit much some times," I said smiling

"Well, I am taking his only daughter out on a date; he has a right to know all those things." He kissed me one more time then started the car and we were off.

We rode in silence for a while with just the music on the radio playing in the background. I had no clue where we were going but really didn't mind not knowing. I decided to just go with the flow; it was much less stressful that way.

"Hey, do you know why Emmett has been such an asshole the past couple days?" Edward asks, breaking the silence. I groaned internally. I promised I wouldn't say anything, but I didn't want to hide this from Edward. He was Emmett's best friend and he might be able to help me figure this whole mess out.

"Umm… Yeah I know but if I tell you, you have to swear that you will not tell anyone." I look over at him making sure he knows I'm serious. He takes my hand and gives it a light squeeze before he speaks.

"Bella, I won't say a word to anyone. What is going on?"

I sighed and then told him everything and I mean everything. I told him how Rose has liked Emmett for as long as I can remember. How he had asked me for help asking her to the prom. How I had failed to get them together like I said I would. How I promised to find a way to fix this whole mess.

After I was done we sat quietly for a while as he let everything soak in. He finally broke the silence.

"I knew it; I fuckin knew Em liked her. I mean, I could never really be sure, but I had a hunch. I was constantly too caught up with my own shit. You know wanting you and all." Edward began to ramble as he pulled on to the highway heading toward Seattle.

I wanted to ask him where we were going but decided against it. I didn't want to stop him while he was being so damn cute. I also wanted to see where his rambling was headed.

"I caught him so many times just watching her. I never said anything of course. I always wondered why he stared at her, what he saw in Rose." He paused looking over at me with a crooked smile.

"Don't get me wrong, I love Rosie like a sister but she has always been…" He hesitated, looking for the right word. I figured I'd help him out.

"A bitch," I said with a laugh.

What? It's true. From the time we were little Rosalie Hale has been a bitch, although back then I think we called her a meanie or a butthead. Rose has her reasons though and those of us closest to her understand. It can't be easy having The Wicked Witch of the West for a mother and Satan for a father. On top of that they were never home, leaving her with a nanny most of the time. We all learned over time how to handle Rosalie…very carefully.

"Yes, I just didn't wanna say it." Edward laughed.

"I only speak the truth, besides she says it herself." I smirked.

"I know," he chuckled then sighed heavily.

"Bell you have enough shit of your own to deal with. I don't see why you have to fix their mess. It should be theirs to fix. No one helped us with ours. You really don't need to add their problem to your pile," He said sounding very agitated.

"That is just it though Edward, what if someone would have smacked some sense into us sooner? We could be going on our hundredth date right now and not our second. Who knows how long it will take these two to swallow their damn pride and admit that they want each other." The whole situation was already starting to drain me.

"I guess I see your point. What do you have in mind?" he asked as he squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"To be perfectly honest, I have no fuckin clue. Neither one of them will talk to me. I asked Rose what the hell she was thinking going to prom with Paul Young, the biggest male slut in the school. You wanna know what she told me?" I asked. I didn't give him enough time to respond though.

"She said and I quote 'I heard he was good in the sack, so why not' I wanted to ring her fuckin neck, of all the ridiculous reasons. I swear one of these days I'm just gonna deck her ass, smack some goddamn sense into her." I was ranting but I was getting so damn pissed just talking about it.

"Baby, calm …" Edward began but I started up again my voice getting louder.

"And the worst fucking part is now Emmett has to go to prom and see her with that douche-waffle! I mean…" I was interrupted by Edward's loud laughter.

"Babe… did you... just say douche-waffle?" he was gasping for air he was laughing so hard. I wanted to be angry that he was laughing but I just couldn't find it in me. It was pretty funny.

"Yeah." I started to laugh with him, I couldn't help it. We just couldn't seem to stop.

After we were both done he began again.

"Bella, you really have to calm down. Don't worry about them. I can't almost guarantee that Paul will be the douche we all know he is and Rose will come to her senses. And Emmett, well he'll be fine, I'm sure of it." He brought my hand up to his mouth and kissed my knuckles.

I sat there for a moment just thinking. As much as I wanted to, there really wasn't much I could do to help them. Paul would inevitably do something to piss Rose off. She would kick his ass and then Emmett hopefully would grow a pair and at least take her on a date. Enough about them I thought I was on a date for Christ sakes. Shaking my head as if to clear it I asked,

"So where are we headed?" He gave me my favorite smile a shook his head.

"Nope, not telling, you'll know when we get there."

"Fine," I grumbled. After a few moments of silence I leaned over and whispered in his ear,

"Can I at least get a hint?" Hoping it would get me an answer I traced the shell of his ear with my tongue.

"Bella," he drew out my name in warning.

"Yes, Edward?" I asked innocently, my voice sugary sweet.

"We use to go there when we were younger. Now please sit down. I really don't want to wreck the car."

XoxoX

I knew where we were going about ten minutes before we actually got there. We were stuck in traffic but I could see the big yellow bus on top of the ten story building from where we sat. The City Museum. I hadn't been there in years. Esme use to bring us here a couple times each summer when we were little. This place is seriously one of the coolest places…ever.

The museum is a bit difficult to explain or describe, because it is not a museum in the traditional sense. The whole place was a work of art. It is a diverse mixture of funhouse, playground, and architectural wonder made out of unique, found objects. When I say found objects that is exactly what I mean like old planes, bridges, cranes, you name it, most likely it is in there somewhere. There were so many different attractions hidden in the old shoe factory, the world's largest pencil, the Enchanted Caves, the World Aquarium, a circus and that is just a few of them.

I looked over at Edward once he parked the car, smiling so big my face was hurting.

"We are having our date at The City Museum, really? Edward this is fantastic!" I squealed unbuckling my seat belt and practically jumped out of the car.

"Bella, wait come back here." Edward called after me as I headed for the door. He walked around to the trunk and opened it.

"I think I have something you might want," he said wagging his eyebrows. The innuendo was not lost on me.

"Oh yeah? What's ya got?" I asked walking back over to the Chevelle. He nodded to the open trunk. When I looked inside I realize we were in for an amazing day. There where knee and elbow pads, and mini flash lights that hook on to your belt loop.

"Ah, I see we came prepared for an epic game of hide and seek," I said with a smirk. When we were younger that was the best part of coming here. This place is the best for hide and seek, with all the hidden nooks and the secret tunnels. I was entirely too excited about this day.

"Yeah and you are going down Swan." If we're lucky maybe we both will I though and then blushed. My mind is in the gutter all the time, no thanks to Eddie boy over there. I was brought back from my dirty thought by Edward wrapping his arms around me.

"What has you blushing, Beautiful?" he whispered low in my ear.

"Maybe if you're lucky you'll find out later, but right now I wanna go inside and go down…I mean you're so going down Masen." I hope he didn't catch my slip up. My filter is still broken damn it. I kissed him quickly then stepped back, not wanting to start something we couldn't finish.

"I'm going to hold you to that," he chuckled "Can we eat first though I'm fuckin starving?" he asked handing me my knee pads and purple flash light.

"Sure, I'm pretty hungry myself."

We put our knee pads on and hooked our flash lights to our jeans and headed for the door. They had an amazing little café on the second floor. After we ordered a pepperoni pizza and some sodas we found a table to wait for our food. I thought it was as good a time as any to ask him about something he told my father.

"So, you want to go into sound engineering? I didn't know that."

"Yes and no. I really just want to be involved with anything to do with music. I would really like to be a composer like my father or if I could play music and make money like my mom did but I really just want music to be a part of my career," he answered. I could tell he was very passionate about this.

"Your parents were in the music business?" I felt silly not knowing this already but he never really spoke about his parents often. I knew the bare minimum.

"Yeah, my father Edward Senior was a composer but he really only composed for my mother Elizabeth she was a fairly well know pianist or so Esme tells me." He smiled and reached for my hand twisting our fingers together in my lap.

"That explains the tattoo," I said softly, finally understanding the meaning behind it.

"I got that for them and for my love of music. Music is pretty much in my blood."

Just as I was about to speak a very pretty red head with tattoos covering the top half of her arms came and sat our pizza down.

"Can I get you anything else?" She purred, leaning over giving us both a great view of her tits. She might as well have just started humping his leg she was standing so close. God, it was gross.

"No, I think we have everything we need," I said pulling our joined hand to the table. I think my voice was sharper than it should have been. I couldn't help it something just kind of snapped. The one thought that kept running through my head was Mine, Mine, Mine.

"Oh, well if you do need anything at all, my name is Dee," she said directly to Edward, ignoring me completely.

"I think we have everything. Right, babe?" Edward looked at me while asking. I look up at Dee, with a smug smile.

"Yeah we're good."

After she left we dug into the most delicious pizza ever. It was so good I moaned loudly when I took the first bite. I couldn't help it, the pizza was amazing. Edward cleared his throat, looking a little bit uncomfortable.

"So, I know you're waiting on you acceptance letter from Le Cordon Bleu, but what are you going for exactly? Jasper is going to be a Chef right?" he asked.

"Yeah, he wants to be a Chef and I want to be a Pastry Chef. I wanna make cookies, pies, cupcakes, that kind of thing. I just hope I get in. I'm not too sure what I will do at UW if I can't," I sighed. I was worried. I didn't have a clue what the hell I was going to do if I didn't get into culinary school.

"Babe, you're going to get in I know it. They would be stupid not to want you at their school. But if for some reason they are stupid, you can go to UW for business. It wouldn't hurt to know how to run that Café you want." He smiled looking very pleased with himself.

The truth was he was right. I could go to U Dub for business and learn how to run the shop Jasper and I aspired to own. I really didn't need to go to school to learn how to bake, I already could do that. I could feel the grin stretch across my face at the thought. How is it Edward always made things better? He had a way of calming my panic, no matter what it was about.

"You're so right," I answered in awe. "I don't have to go to culinary school."

"No, but you are going to get in Bella and when you do I think you should go. It is all you have ever talked about, wanting to bake and have a place to sell all you amazing confectionary." Edward's face was so serious as he spoke. I just nodded not wanting to say either way what I wanted.

We finished eating and headed over to the shoelace factory. We were too full to be running around just yet. Edward insisted on buying me purple and black shoelaces to go in my Chucks. I told him not to, stating I could buy them myself. He then proceeded to give me his panty melting smirk and whispered in my ear, "Let me." His warm breath washed over me and I was gone. How the hell do you say no to something like that? You don't that's what, you're too busy thinking of all the things you want to do to him. Well that is what I did.

After the shoelaces we headed up to Art City. We watched a man finish making a beautiful vase in the glassblowing room. It was one of the coolest things I had ever seen. Edward suggested we head over to the other side were you could make any and everything you wanted. You could tie-dye a shirt, paint, and even make things out of clay. I headed straight for the clay, knowing immediately what I was going to do. We were told we could either start fresh or we could decorate existing pieces.

Edward and I both went with existing coffee mugs so we could take them home when we left.

I choose to paint my mug a beautiful green color. I'll admit it reminded me of Edward's eyes. I then painted little music notes scattered all around the outside. I hoped he would like it. I glanced over several times to watch Edward work. It was so adorable how when he was concentrating he would stick his tongue out slightly. He caught me a few times telling me not to peek, I just rolled my eyes. After we were done we decided it was time for hide and seek.

XoxoX

"Bella," Edward called out in a sing song voice.

We had been playing for a good half hour. We had each found the other twice and this time was the decider. If I could stay hidden for just a while longer I would win. We had to adjust the game a bit seeing as there were only the two of us. Normally there were six of us, so this was a little bit harder.

"Isabella… I know you're in here somewhere," he called again.

I was hidden not even five feet from him in a little hole just big enough from to fit in. The Enchanted Caves were mostly dark so he couldn't see me. As he walked past me I knew I had to get to another place soon or he would win and that was just not going to happen. When he was far enough away I darted across the caves to another little opening. I wasn't fast enough though and he caught me around the waist.

"Aw, so close Baby," he whispered, planting a hot, wet kiss onto my neck.

My eyes drifted closed as I melted into his arms. There was no point in fighting it, he won. Besides now that the game was over there was something else entirely I wanted to do. I turned in his arms throwing mine around his neck, pulling him close. I began to slowly kiss up his neck, along his jaw and up to his ear.

"You caught me." My voice was husky and low as I whispered in his ear.

Then I was moving. He lifted me up, pulling my legs around his waist as he walked until my back hit the rough wall of the cave. He attacked my mouth hungrily, nipping and sucking at my bottom lip. Moaning as I began to kiss him back with just as much fervor, forcing my tongue into his mouth. We were lost. It was as if everyone had faded away and there was just us. Grabbing and groping, licking and sucking, we were all hands and lips and tongues. After a week of sexual frustration, we had finally just combusted.

I squeezed my legs around him tighter feeling the bulge in his jeans. I moaned loudly realizing I had caused that, I had turned him on. It was one of the greatest feelings, knowing I did that to him. All I could think was I wanted more, I wanted to feel him, really feel him.

"Edward?"

"Yeah," he panted against my neck.

"Let's get out of here."

Faster than I thought possible we were out the door of the museum and halfway across the parking lot. When we got to the car Edward quickly unlocked the door, opening it and pulling the seat forward. He motioned for me to get into the back. I gaped at him. As much as I wanted to feel him and see him there was no way we were doing what I wanted to do in the parking lot.

"Edward, we can't do this here," I stated.

"Bella…" I put my finger over his lips cutting him off.

Leaning in close I whispered. "There are little kids everywhere Edward. I'm not going to be able to do what I have in mind, if all I can think about is all the children that could see us."

"I…uh um okay," he said dropping the seat and walking me around to the passenger side.

He gave me a searing kiss before I slid into the front seat.

"Where are we going?" I asked as soon as we were out of the parking lot.

Edward shook his head. "Not telling," he said with a smug smile. I see how it is, two can play that game.

Not saying anything in return I simply sat, my hand gently on his thigh. I smiled inwardly when he tensed up slightly. After a few minutes I slowly stared to draw little circles on the inside of his thigh. He glanced over at me when we came to a stop; I pretended not to notice and kept sing along with the song on the radio. As we started to drive again I let my fingers dance high up his leg, coming close to but not touching where I'm sure he wanted me to. He wrapped his fingers around mine, stopping my exploring.

"Getting to be too much for you?" I smiled.

"Not at all," he stated then slid my hand over his erection.

My gasp quickly turned to a moan as I realized how hard he was. I was reminded of my earlier thoughts of wanting more of him. My breathing picked up speed and my panties got incredibly wet.

"Edward," I breathed.

"Yes, Bella?"

"Drive faster," I said as I began working his length through his jeans.

"Ugh, almost there." His voice was rough with need.

Soon we were driving down a long secluded road that led into a camping area I remembered from a trip we took as kids. He parked the car and turned it off. I quickly had my seat belt off and was opening my door.

"What are you…?"

"Edward, backseat now." Something had snapped and out came this bolder more aggressive Bella. I have to say I think I liked her; she knew what she wanted and at that moment it was Edward. He didn't say a word he just got out and joined me in the back of the Chevelle.

Wasting no time my hands went directly to the hem of his shirt, pulling it off. I was eager to feel his skin under my fingertips, to feel his muscles twitch at my touch. As I ran my hands down his chest he pulled me close, his own hand traveling up underneath my shirt. Stopping briefly to run his thumbs over my already hard nipples, he swiftly removed my shirt.

I moved so I was straddling his lap and started grinding myself into him brazenly. All I could think was how good it felt. Edward shifted us so that he was hovering above me. All of the sudden I'm struck by how much this is like one of my favorite fantasies, Edward, me, and the backseat of the Chevelle. My hips have a mind of their own as they buck upward toward his, trying to gain some much needed friction.

Obviously knowing what I truly want, Edward trailed his fingers of one hand down my chest, across my abdomen until he reached the button of my jeans. He paused, looking up at me, I assumed seeking my approval. I nodded my head as I breathed out, "Please."

The atmosphere seemed to shift; we were no longer in a rush to get to the end. His movements were slow and measured as he lowered my jeans. My fingers slowly danced across his firm stomach as I looked into his eyes. I could see so many things in his deep green orbs, lust, want, need but the thing that affected me the most was love. My hands stopped as my heart began to race.

Could he love me? That look could only be love, right? And he did call me Love often. He asked me that day at my house if I loved him. We've only been an actual couple for a little over a week, but I think I could honestly say that I loved him. I could never see myself with anyone else. I just wanted Edward; he was all I could see.

Something my mom told me when I was younger made a whole lot of sense now. I asked her when you know you're in love. She pulled me into her lap and said, "You'll know, it will feel like everything is right, and he'll be the only one you see." I was confused when she first told me that. I didn't understand what she meant by only seeing one. Now though I understood perfectly.

I moved so I was sitting and scooted closer to him. I kissed him slowly and passionately. He wrapped his arms around me pulling me to sit sideways in his lap. Cupping his face with my hand I broke the kiss so I could speak.

"You're all I see," I said as I looked into his eyes once more. I couldn't bring myself to say those three little words just yet. I just hoped he understood what I meant.

"Bella?" Quite a few emotions flickered over his beautiful face. There was confusion; disbelief and finally understanding.

"You're all I see," he repeated as he kissed my forehead, my nose and lastly my lips.

I smiled, I was in heaven.

* * *

***Peeks from behind computer* **

**AN: So, how was it? I know, *points to self* huge cockblock. Sorry about that. I do have my reasons though.**

**Thanks to my lovely beta Angel for all the support and help, you are truly amazing. Thank you Brittan for always pushing me. All the wonderful ladies on Twitter you guy brighten my day. Hugs and Kisses ladies.**

**City Museum is a real place but it is not in Seattle. It is really in St. Louis, I thought for the story's sake I'd move it. It truly is one of the coolest places I have ever been. I'll put a link to their website on my profile so you can see it for yourself.**

**I'm sorry this took so very long. Even after I promised it wouldn't. It is not entirely my fault, let me just say migraines suck! From here on out though I promise nothing. RL is going to start to be pretty hectic, so I will get the chapters out as fast as I can. Next chapter is Prom and some other fun things.**

**I have a page on Facebook (link on my profile) There are pictures and I will post little hint for the coming chapters.**

**Review please. Let me know what you're thinking. **

**Rec's****:**

**Still of the Night by StAngelS **

http:/www(dot) fanfiction(dot)net/s/6204656/1/Still_of_the_Night

This is an amazing fic written by my wonderful beta Angel. Read it and give her some love.

**Coming Through the Rye by Mac214 **

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6048208/1/Coming_Through_the_Rye

I just started this and I'm hooked. All I can say is Scottish Edward! (I'm a sucker for an accent)

**Until next time. **

**Meg**


	7. Hold You In My Arms

**Twilight and its characters are not mine as much as I wish they were. The plot and the words I've written are however, so don't steal them please.**

**AN at the bottom**

_**I could hold you in my arms**_

_**I could hold you forever**_

_**I could hold you in my arms**_

_**I could hold you forever**_

**Hold You In My Arms - Ray LaMontagne**

Chapter 7- Hold You in My Arms

Edward and I were sitting in the waiting room of the Hematologist's office, that I would be visiting every week or two, for God knows how long. The room was full of children, of all different ages, some playing with toys others watching the movie playing on a nearby television.

When we first walked into the room I was shocked to say the least. It made me extremely sad to see all the children in the office. I couldn't imagine having to go through something as scary as cancer at such a young age. Hell, I could hardly handle a blood disorder at eighteen.

"Why are there so many kids here?" I whispered

Edward explained to me that Dr. Hanson specialized in pediatric hematology and oncology. Carlisle thought it was best I see him as opposed to an adult hematologist. Although he was my actual doctor, Carlisle was just consulting with him.

I had told Carlisle that I didn't want anyone else to be my doctor. I trusted him and I didn't want some other doctor acting sympathetic and concerned. I didn't care if it was their specialty. I knew that Carlisle was concerned for me and would do everything he could to get me back to a hundred percent. Maybe I was being stubborn or childish but to be honest I didn't care. I couldn't trust anyone else with my health.

"Isabella Swan," a soft voice called.

"Here we go," I groaned.

Today they were going to be checking my platelet count and then give me my next IVGG. I was not exactly excited, no matter what, I was getting poked with a needle and there would be blood. Blood, needles and I were not the best of friends.

"Bella, I've told you already, everything will be fine," Edward murmured against my knuckles, before kissing them. He was so sweet, trying to distract me, too bad it didn't work this time.

"Yeah, well you're not the one getting poked today, are you?" I snarked.

"Come on Love, the faster we get you in, the faster we get you out," he said with a sweet smile. I in turn smiled as I kissed the side of his mouth, right next to his viper bite.

Edward had been calling me Love more frequently since our date. My body would have the same reaction every time, my heart would begin to flutter like a hummingbird's wings and my mind would drift off into some unknown land of happy thoughts. All because he meant it, Edward really loved me. Granted he hadn't actually said the words yet, but neither had I. I wasn't sure why I couldn't bring myself to tell him I loved him but I just couldn't, not yet at least.

"Hi, Isabella, my name is Emily; I'll be your nurse today. If you would follow me we will get this show on the road," The nurse, Emily said with a friendly smile.

I felt myself relax instantly; maybe this wouldn't be so bad. I nodded, not quite sure what to say and followed her down the short hallway with Edward holding my hand.

Emily stopped just outside a doorway and motioned for us to enter. The room was nothing like I imagined. I was expecting a normal doctor's exam room, cold with no warmth in sight. This was nothing like that, at all.

The room was small. There was an actual hospital bed with and end table to the right. On the left was a tan leather recliner. The walls were painted a very warm honey yellow. Across from the bed there was a mural of Winnie the Pooh, and at first I didn't understand why. It finally hit me though; the office was generally a pediatric office.

"Alright, Isabella if you could just put on that gown over there," she said pointing to the gown on the bed. "No bra, please but you can leave your pants on. I'll be right back to get everything started." Emily continued a warm smile.

I nodded and said a meek 'thank you' as I walked over to the bed. Setting my purse down on the bed and picked up the gown. Looking at the offending garment I couldn't help but think back to the last time I wore one. It was hard to believe that it had only been about two weeks since the scariest day of my life; it felt like it was light years ago.

Edward moved in front of me placing his hands on my hips, leaning in he left a lingering kiss on my forehead.

"Do you want me to turn around while you change?" he asked with a devilish smile

I could tell he knew my thoughts were headed in a dangerous direction and he was trying to stop them before they got too far. For that I was grateful. He'd done that a lot these past couple weeks almost as if he could read my mind.

"Why?" I asked trying to hide my smile. "You've already seen 'the girls'. I seem to remember you liked them, quite a lot actually." I smirked at him.

"Is that so?" His green eyes lit up with mischief as he leaned in to kiss my neck.

"It is. Do you wanna know a secret?" I whispered.

"Mmm-hmm," he murmured right behind my ear.

"They liked you too," I said in what I hoped was a sexy voice. He moaned into my neck as he pulled me closer.

"Edward, not here," I said trying to reign in the desire to push him down onto the bed and have my way with him. "Maybe later."

"Oh no maybe about it, definitely later," he said stepping back slightly.

"We'll see about that. Now sit down and let me change." I laughed, pushing him into the recliner.

Once I changed into the ugly greenish blue gown and was on the bed, which was the epitome of uncomfortable, Emily came back in. She was pushing a little cart with all kinds of things; vials, needles, tape, and countless other stuff.

"Alright let's get things started," she said rubbing her hands together.

I gave her a slight smile and nod but turned away from her completely. I didn't want to see her do any of it, not the tying of the rubber band or the actual sticking of the needle. It was bad enough I would have to feel it.

"I'm going to count to three and then you're going to feel a little pinch."

Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes tightly while she counted.

"One, two," I squeezed my eyes tighter preparing for the pain I was sure was coming.

"Three"

I didn't feel anything so I waited, and waited until I felt a rough hand on my cheek.

"Bella she's done. You can breathe now."

I opened my eyes slowly to see Edward's smiling face. I couldn't believe I didn't feel a thing. Looking over at her I could see Emily already had four vials filled. I decided she was going to be the person to draw my blood from now on, and I told her as much.

She quickly finished up and started the treatment.

"Now this is going to take awhile, about two hours. So just relax, you can just sleep if you want to."

Emily had just spoken the magic word 'sleep'. I had still been so tired lately. Any time I got the opportunity to sleep I took it. I'm sure Edward had to be getting bored always watching me sleep but he never said a word.

Once Emily left I looked over at Edward and patted the spot to my left as an invitation. He came and got in the bed pulling me close. I curled myself around him, my head on his chest and my arm with the IV gently resting on his stomach. We laid there in companionable silence until my eyes slowly drifted closed.

I felt as thought I had just fallen asleep when I was suddenly shaken awake.

"Bella, Love it's all over, time to wake up," Edward whispered.

"Already?" I croaked, as I pried my eyes open. "I just feel sleepy."

"Babe, you have been old cold for two hours," He chuckled. "There was even some of your sleep mumbling."

Of course there was sleep talking, there always was but that didn't make it any less embarrassing.

After Emily finished unhooking me from the IV and I was dressed we headed up to Dr. Cullen's office. In the elevator, the dread that they were going to find something else wrong crept back up. They could have gotten it wrong and I really did have cancer. I shook my head trying to literally shake the terrible thought from my head. Edward squeezed my hand in a reassuring gesture.

########

"Bella, Edward come in. Have a seat." Dr. Cullen greeted us, gesturing toward the couch in the corner.

"Okay, so I'm not going to beat around the bush because I know you hate that," Carlisle said smiling at me.

The smiling had to be a good thing, right? I mean he wouldn't be happy if I was dying or had cancer. This made me feel much better, even before he spoke.

"Bella, your platelet count is still rather low but that is to be expected. They did go up though which is a good thing. It means we are on the right track. You still have a ways to go before you're completely out of the woods. But you will get out, Sweetheart," he said with a kind smile.

I breathed a sigh of relief. They didn't find anything else wrong and things were going like they were supposed to.

"We did see that you have a slight infection. It is viral so there isn't much we can do. You just need to rest as much as you can," he added.

Rest, that's all I did anymore. I went to school where I would then proceed to fall asleep in almost every class. When I would get home I'd end up napping until it was time for dinner. It was an endless cycle of resting.

"How long until I stop wanting to sleep my life away?" I asked. "I'm sure Edward has got to be sick of watching me snore." I added with a slight grin, which probably looked more like a grimace.

Edward squeezed my hand and gently knocked my shoulder with his. "Bella, stop I've told you before, I don't care. As long as you're getting better, that is all that matters. Besides you don't snore, you talk, and that never gets old," he chuckled.

"I can't say for sure, honestly it is all up to your body and when it is ready." Carlisle said

I could honesty say this trip to the hospital visit had been a lot less painful than I had originally thought. Carlisle was very confident that I was heading down the right road to be healthy again. I was feeling pretty confident myself that things were only going to get better.

###

Before I knew it, it was Friday afternoon and I was standing in the parking lot of the High School saying goodbye to Edward. I wouldn't be seeing him again until tomorrow night when he picked me up for the Prom.

Tonight was 'Girls Night'. That was what we told our parents and the guys anyway. It was actually Pizza and Porn night. We have been doing PPN ever since Rose found her dads porn collection, about a year ago. Alice and I wanted no part of it, at first. It just seemed wrong on too many levels. We finally gave in and let her put one on. Rose ended up putting on a really, really bad 70's porno. Oh, it was so bad, the filming sucked as well as the acting and it was hilarious. We spent the whole night eating junk food and making fun of the movie.

_Honk! Honk!_

"Bella get your ass in this car now!" Alice yelled from the driver's side of her mustang.

"So I'll see you tomorrow night then?" Edward asked with a chuckle, his arms wound tightly around my waist holding me to him.

"Yes," I sighed. Why did that seem so far away?

"Come on you'll have fun tonight. Besides you need some girl time, I've been hogging you all to myself," he said with that smile, the one that made my insides turn to goo.

"True, you have been taking up all my time lately," I said with a dramatic sigh.

Edward pulled me closer, leaning down so his lips grazed my ear as he spoke.

"You didn't seem to mind last night, or the day before either," he gently bit my ear lobe, "That is if I'm remembering correctly." I could feel his smirk that I was sure was on his face as well as his reaction to the memory of the night before.

"I'm sure you are but you better stop while you're ahead," I smirked. "That," I nodded toward his crotch, "is going to rather uncomfortable." Before he could respond we were interrupted.

"ISABELLA! Come on! We got to go!" Alice wailed.

"Alright! Hold your fuckin horses MARY!" I yelled back.

"I have to go. Apparently Pizza and Po… I mean Girls night can't wait. I'll see you tomorrow." I went to give him a kiss, which I meant to make quick but I was learning there really were no quick kisses with us. Edward deepened the kiss, groaning as his slid his tongue against mine. My hands shot to his hair pulling him even closer. He pulled away first, kissing my forehead.

"Bye Bell, I'll see you tomorrow night," he said with a frown, shoving his hands in his pockets. I stepped away slowly waving and blew him a kiss which put a small smile on his face. It seemed utterly ridiculous that the thought of not seeing him for a little over a day actually made my heart ache.

"About damn time," Rose grumbled from the front seat, as I slid into the back next to Angela. I looked up at the rearview mirror to see her smiling.

I had decided after the talk I had with Edward to just let Rose and Emmett figure it out on their own. It wasn't my place to be meddling in their business.

"So, this being my first pizza and porn night, what can I expect?" Angela asked with an excited smile.

When I asked Angela if she wanted to come to Rose's the night before prom to get ready with us she had seemed a little reluctant. As soon as I said it was pizza and porn night though, she practically begged to go. She was such a pervert, but that was one of the many things I loved about her.

"Well, we're going to go to Rosalie's house and order pizza. I already got all the other junk food we might need." Alice started to ramble on and on. I tuned her out after that.

"Bells, you and Angela can take the teddy bear room. Ali and I will share mine," Rose said as we walked up the front steps of her house.

The Hale house was relatively large. From the outside it appeared to be classic country style home, looks can be very misleading. Mrs. Hale had a thing for themes. Every room in the house had a theme of some kind. Angela and I had the pleasure of sleeping in the ugliest one of them all.

Angela looked at me with a quirked eyebrow and mouthed questioningly, "Teddy bear?"

"You will soon see my friend just why it got that name," I chuckled and pulled her down the hallway.

When we got to the door I shoved it open and took a step back to let her go in ahead of me. The look on her face was priceless as she took in the whole room. The walls were covered in the most awful wallpaper with teddy bears all over it. That was bad enough but what made it even worse was that somehow Mrs. Hale had found a bed set that matched the wallpaper to a T. There were also teddy bears everywhere, the floor, the shelves, and the window ledge.

"Wow, this has to be the ugliest damn room ever," Angela said in awe after she finished looking around.

"I know, right? There is a theme in almost every room except Rosalie's. And just like this room when Janis Hale likes a theme she runs with it," I chuckled setting my bag on the bed.

"Does it get any worse than this mess?" she asked smirking

"No, not really this is the worst of them," I said looking around the room.

"Come on, let's go get Pizza and Porn night started," I said heading toward the kitchen.

#######

When we walked into the kitchen Alice had pulled everything out for ice cream sundaes. And Rose had pulled out the contents of her parent's liquor cabinet. This was the norm for any of our girls' nights; porn or no porn, there was always ice cream and booze. We only drank when there were no parents around, especially mine.

"So Bells, Rum and Coke?" Rose asked holding up the bottle of rum.

I was very close to saying yes, I mean _very_ close. It had been a truly stressful couple of weeks and it would have been nice to have some help relaxing. Then I remembered that alcohol thins your blood and my blood was thin enough already.

"No, none for me tonight, just coke," I said with a sigh, shaking my head.

"Why?" she asked and before I could answer I could she had figured it out. "I'm sorry Bells, I didn't mean…" Rose started.

"Stop, it's no big deal." I waved her off and headed off to make myself the best sundae ever.

"Alright it's my turn." Angela exclaimed. We had all finished our ice cream and were now playing our version of twenty questions. Really it was just ask anything and everyone had to answer, unless you used one of your two vetoes.

"If you could have guilt free sex with anyone in the world just once, who would it be?"

"Easy, Robert Pattinson, hands down, although I might not want it to be just once," I laughed.

They all gave me a knowing look. It wasn't a secret that I was mildly infatuated with him. What can I say, he is fucking gorgeous.

"I'd have to say, Hugh Jackman," Rose said with a nod. We all sat there starring at her, not seeing that one coming at all. "What? Don't look at me like that; I have a thing for Wolverine." She stated matter-of-factly, waving her hand for us to continue.

A few more rounds and it was Alice's turn. This scared me because you really never know what is going to come out of her mouth.

"Alright ladies, your virginity, when, where and who?" she asked with an evil gleam in her eyes.

_Shit!_ I thought to myself. The one fucking question I didn't want to answer. Out of all of us I was the only one who had not had my cherry popped; I really didn't have a problem with it. I had just never really had the chance, I mean seriously Edward was my first kiss and that was a couple of weeks ago.

I was hoping and praying that maybe it would happen this weekend. I know, how cliché could I get; losing my virginity on prom night. It sounds a lot worse than it really was. Edward and I were at that stage in our relationship, it was time. I also really wanted him to be my first.

"Ugh, I really hate this question. It was freshmen year with Eric Yorkie in the back of his mother's mini-van." Angela visibly shuddered as we all said a collective 'NO!'

She nodded her head for us to move along but Rose wasn't having that.

"Let me get this straight. You had sex with Yorkie? I swear I thought he was gay." Rose had a look of utter disbelief on her face.

"Oh he is, he realized for sure that night," Angela said shaking her head. "Rosalie, what about you?"

"Royce King, bed of his truck freshmen year," Rose sighed. And then all eyes were on me.

"Hasn't happened yet." I figured I might as well get it over with.

Again Rose had to add something, "You mean to tell me that with the way you and Edward go at it in the halls, parking lot and the back of his car…"

"The point Rosalie?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"You haven't had sex yet?"

"No, I have not had sex yet," I stated. "God, I wish I could drink," I mumbled into Alice's shoulder as she pulled me into a hug and gave me a wink. I knew she understood.

"Who's ready for Porn?" Alice said in a sing song voice, changing the subject effortlessly.

"Oh oh oh! Me!" Angela was practically vibrating with excitement.

"Rose get the movie and set it up. I'm going to go order the pizza. And you two just sit there and look pretty." Alice winked at me and Ang before she heads toward the kitchen.

XXX

"The movie I have selected for our _viewing_ pleasure is….." Rose was standing in front of the TV with the DVD behind her back. The pizza had just arrived and we were all ready to start watching the movie, I use the term movie very loosely.

Rosalie held up the case showing it off Vanna White style. The cover looks like a real movie that you wouldn't hide under your bed or in your closet. Upon further inspection it most certainly was a porn movie. There was a picture of a man in a Zorro mask on the front with the words _The Revenge of the Sword_ on the top. I snorted out loud at the title. At the bottom it said _Staring Spunk Ransom_

"I pulled this beauty from my Mother's collection," Rose said with a smirk as she pushed play.

I was prepared to laugh, joke and say how awful the porn was, but I can't. Not one of us says a word. We sit, not touching our pizza, just watching the movie. It was like watching a really really sexy Zorro movie. The acting was really good and I couldn't help but picture Edward behind that mask doing all those dirty things to me

All of the sudden there is a close up of his dick. "Holy Shit!" We said at the same time then dissolve into a fit of giggles. He was fucking huge. I'm talking massive. Our little laugh breaks whatever spell we were under. Alice starts to point out how wonderful the costumes are. Leave it to her to point out the fashion in a porn movie. Angela comments on how huge and fake woman's boobs are. I'm past the point of watching the movie by then. My mind starts to drift back to Edward as it often does.

By the time the movie was over it was ten o'clock and I was beat. I get up telling everyone I'm headed to bed. As I'm half-way up the stairs Alice yells "I'll be in there at eight to get you up! We have a full day ahead of us!"

Groaning, I made my way to the hideous teddy bear room. I changed quickly, brushed my teeth and washed my face before sliding into bed. I was right on the edge of sleep when my phone beeped from across the room. I grudgingly throw the covers off muttering "someone better be dying" under my breath. I grabbed my phone not looking at the screen and crawled back into bed. When I finally looked at the display I couldn't help the large smile that spread across my face.

_**Good night Love. Miss you. Sweet dreams XOXO **_

###

The morning came faster than expected. I was jolted awake by Alice.

"Rise and shine Bells, I already let you sleep in long enough," she said barging in the room. When I glanced at my phone it said nine-thirty, she had given me an hour and a half extra of sleep. _I'm buying her something special for graduation_, I thought as I made my way to the bathroom to shower.

Everything moved very quickly after we left the house. Alice had been very smart and booked us all an appointment months ago at the spa/salon in Port Angeles. She had set us up to get the Vanilla Sundae treatment. We each got a Tailor Made Massage, Pore Cleansing Facial, and a Spa Manicure and Pedicure. I tried to tell her that it was too much but she wouldn't hear it, saying it was a gift from her mother.

After we were finish being buffed and polished we headed back to Rose's house so we could do our hair and make-up. I didn't understand why we didn't just get that done at the salon but Alice was insistent that we did it ourselves.

Rosalie had just finished my makeup when I got a text.

_**You look beautiful xoxo**_

I quickly spun around looking for any sign of Edward. He wasn't there and I knew that, Alice would have killed him. I couldn't help but hope though. I turned back around so Alice could start on my hair. I quickly fired off a reply.

_**How do you know? You can't even see me :)**_

"What has my brother done to make you smile this time?" Alice asked moving to another section of hair.

I didn't even realize that I was smiling. I wanted to tell Ali that everything. We hadn't had much one on one time recently. Looking around the room I saw that Angela and Rosalie had both left to get dresses. Taking a deep breath looking in the mirror at her and exclaimed, "I'm in love with him Ali. I mean full blown, head over heels in love with him."

Giggling she said, "I know silly." A little more seriously she added, "He loves you too, ya know?"

"Yeah, I know," I said shyly then quickly added, "Well, at least I'm pretty sure. We haven't said it or anything."

My phone started to buzz in my hand again. Again a huge grin spread across my face as I read the message.

_**I don't have to see you to know you look beautiful, Love. It's a given. xoxo**_

He was always so sweet to me. I won't lie there are times I feel that he is just with me because he pity's me, taking care of the sick girl. Then he does things like the texts and I realize that he really must care about me. It was still difficult to wrap my head around sometimes.

When Ali finished my hair I looked in the mirror and couldn't believe what I saw. My hair flowed over my shoulders and down my back in soft waves. My make-up was perfect, eyes smoky, and lips glossy but natural. I looked like me only ten times better.

Alice quickly shoved me out the door to go get dressed. I went across the hall back to the teddy bear room and locked the door. I quickly changed into the sexy bra and panty set Rose had talked me into. They were a black sheer set, so sheer in fact that you could see everything that were meant to cover. I reddened at the thought of Edward seeing me in them, and with any luck he would.

Once I had my dress on, I headed downstairs so someone could help me into my heels. I couldn't really bend that well in my dress and could see myself fall face first onto the floor. As soon as I hit the last step I was met by all three of my friends, each looking absolutely fabulous. I had seen Rose and Ali's dresses and knew how perfect they were but I was not prepared for Angela's. The dress fit her and her personality flawlessly, it was simple in style but the pattern was wild and colorful.

"Ang, you look fabulous. That dress is perfect," I said in awe.

"I know, I saw this and it was love at first sight," She answered with a huge smile.

The doorbell rang signaling the boys had arrived.

"Here quick help me into my shoes," I said shoving them at Rosalie. I sat on the bottom step as she strapped them on. Why I let them talk me into those death traps I'll never know.

Angela answered the door letting the boys in. Jasper walked directly to Ali whispering something in her ear, making her giggle. I noticed Emmett walk over to Rose slowly saying something to her. She ran her hand down the front of her dress and said something back blushing. I couldn't help but hope they would get along, at least for the night.

"I know I said you were beautiful but I was very wrong," Edward said from behind me. I leant back against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. "You look absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous," he continued, letting his hand run along my sides.

I turned around in his arms, leaning up just a bit to kiss him. The kiss was hungry and wild; it was as if we hadn't seen each other in months instead of a day. Just as my hands settled into his hair we were interrupted.

"Edward, dude, that's my sister! That's just wrong," Emmett hollered.

We reluctantly pulled apart straightening our clothes.

"We'll finish that later," I whispered in his ear. I smiled as he groaned low enough that only I could hear.

"Alright, let's go. We have to stop at our house so mom can take pictures," Alice called from the front door.

As we passed through the doorway Edward said, "You really do look beautiful, Love."

Xxx

Once all the pictures were taken from every conservable pose; and after Esme finished fussing over us, she cried four times, mumbling about us being 'all grown up'. We finally made our way to the prom. Edward drove us while Emmett drove Alice, Jasper and Rosalie. Ben ended up meeting us at the Cullen's house and taking Angela.

As we stepped through the entrance of the surprisingly nice hotel you could hear the heavy beat of music. The lobby was full of our classmates milling around. The majority of them were in line for pictures. At the very end of the line I saw Jessica Stanley with Mike Newton; she was smiling like she had just won the lottery. Mike on the other hand seemed to be less than thrilled.

"There's Alice lets go sit down for a bit," Edward said tilting his head in Ali's direction.

We sat and talked with Jasper and Alice while we waited for dinner to be served. Paul had apparently found Rose and they were off doing God knows what. No one seemed to know where Emmett had run off to. I know that couldn't be good but reminded myself that I was staying out of their business.

"Oh my gosh, is he really wearing a zoot suit?" I asked in horror, to no one in particular, as I watched James Rhine walk into the room wearing a white zoot suit.

"Yes, yes he is," Jasper chuckled shaking his head.

A second after he walked in, Lauren came up beside him. I swear you could hear everyone's jaw hit the floor and their breath hitch when they saw her dress. Lauren smiled and waved totally oblivious to the fact that we were all staring at the badly designed dress. The dress made it appear as if she had a large vagina made of fabric on the front of her dress. It was like an open blatant invitation to hop on and have a ride.

"What the hell was she thinking?" Alice asked with mixture of awe and disgust.

"She obviously isn't she?" I turned back to the table not wanting to give her any more attention.

Ang and Ben finally made it to the table just as dinner was being served. They both looked a little flushed and had goofy smirks on their faces. It was clear that they had been up to no good.

The meal was okay at best. Jasper ate the salad but wouldn't touch the rest stating, "I'll make us something edible when we get back."

Jasper Whitlock was a food snob, which is the only way to put it. If the food didn't meet his high standards he wouldn't eat it. I had to agree with him. If you're going to cook, at least do it right. The chicken was dry, the mashed potatoes were soupy. It was all around bad. The only thing that saved it was dessert. Chocolate makes everything better or at least that's how I feel.

The first bite of the chocolate cake and I was in heaven, I may even have moaned. I couldn't help it, it was that good. When I was finished I glance up to see Edward staring at me with a look I was slowly becoming familiar with, hunger.

"Bella." Was all he said before he leaned in and kissed me, hard. It was needy and wild and so, so perfect.

"Can you please not suck my sister's face off in front of me?" We were stopped by Emmett yet again.

"Nice of you to finally join us, where the hell have you been?" I snarked. He had missed all of dinner, which was very strange.

"Nowhere."

I could tell something was off. Emmett, by nature is a happy person, he got that from mom. He wasn't smiling or really even talking. He just kept starring into his water glass with a faraway look in his eye. My first instinct was to go comfort him, see what was wrong. But I knew what had him upset and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Rose was here with Paul instead of him, I couldn't imagine how bad that had to hurt.

It was long after that the music was turned up and people started filling the dance floor. Alice pulled Jasper up moved him toward the floor exclaiming, "This is my favorite song". He rolled his eyes and followed.

I leaned my body against Edward's and watched our classmates danced and laughed. I wasn't much of a dancer, unless I was cleaning the house. Edward started kissing up and down my neck slowly. I was so wrapped up in him I didn't know why Emmett shot out of his chair sending it flying to the floor.

I stood quickly screaming his name but the music was too loud. I started to go after him, until Edward pulled me back. That's when I saw where he was going. Emmett was headed straight for Paul and Rosalie across the room. I could see Rose was shouting; her face contorted in anger. Emmett got there right as she punched Paul in the nose causing him to stumble backwards.

Em said something to her and she smiled shyly and nodded her head. Then they were walking out of the room. I immediately started after them, wanting to know that she was okay, but again Edward kept me back.

"Let them be," he said kissing my forehead. I stared at him for a moment then reluctantly nodded.

"Come on, Love, let's dance." I didn't even have time to reply before he was pulling me onto the dance floor.

"Edward, I can't dance," I shouted over the music.

"Oh, baby, that's a lie," he whispered in my ear as his hands traveled down my back to my ass.

We started moving to the music, swaying side by side as Usher's_ DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love_ began flowing through the room. I got lost in the music and Edward. I turned in his arms, my back to his chest, grinding into him. His hands grazed the side of my breast as he pulled my arms up and around his neck. My body was on fire, I wanted him so badly I could hardly stand it. And from what I could tell he wanted me too.

The song changed to a slower one and I turned resting my head against his chest. Edward sang along with the soulful song as we danced.

_When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears_

_It was easy to see you'd been crying_

_Seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe it reigns_

_But who really profits from the dying_

_I could hold you in my arms_

_I could hold you forever_

_I could hold you in my arms_

_I could hold you forever_

The words sounded as if they were his own, singing of our past few weeks and how he held me every time I cried. I kissed his chest right over his heart letting him know I heard him. As the last note rang out he kissed the spot behind my ear and whispered the most beautiful words I had ever heard.

"I love you, Bell."

My head shot up and as my eyes met his warm green ones I knew he meant it. I could see all the love right there on his beautiful face. Tears pooled in my eyes, my mouth opened and closed and opened again, I couldn't find the words I wanted to say. My mind kept playing his word over and over _'I love you, Bell.' _

"Bella, you don't have…" I cut him off, finally finding the words.

"No, Edward, I do! Oh God I do too, so, so, so much! I love you, so much!" I said franticly, the tears finally falling from my eyes. The smile that lit up his face was the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen.

"I love you," he whispered again and then kissed me long and slow and passionately.

"Let's get out of here," I said, pulling back beaming up at him.

XXXXXXXXXX

Before I knew it we were in his car flying down the highway toward Forks with our hands clasped together on his thigh. Neither of us said a word, there wasn't any need for words; we knew what was going to happen.

As we pulled up to the Cullen's house my nerves started up. My stomach felt as if there were a million butterflies flying around. I took a deep breath letting it out slowly as he got out and came to my side. Taking my hand he led me up the front porch steps and into the house. The whole house was dark, Esme most likely fast asleep and Carlisle at the hospital. We made our way slowly, kissing and touching, up the stairs to his room.

As we stepped into his room he broke our long silence.

"Bella, I love you. I always have, all the way back to when we were kids. I don't think I ever stopped," he said tucking my hair behind my right ear. He left his fingers on my neck pulling me gently into a kiss. My hands fisted on the lapel of his tux pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. We stared moving backward toward the bed. The back of my legs hit the bed and we tumbled onto it, never breaking the kiss.

Edward's hands went to the back of my dress, unzipping it. He gradually pulled the dress down my body until I was laying there in just my bra and panties and my heels. Leaning in, he trailed hot, wet kisses along the column of my neck, in the dip of my collar bones, and across my shoulders. His lips were soft and warm against my skin, my body had never felt more alive.

My hands moved up his long chest, guiding his jacket down his arms until it met my dress on the floor. Soon the rest of our clothes were gone. The air in the room was thick and heavy, filled with whimpers, groans and quiet whispers as our lips and hands touched and teased. My hands knotted in his hair, and I stared up at his stunning face before I kissed him, tenderly, trying to convey all the love I felt for him in that simple action.

Edward's hands wandered over my body, fisting in my hair, gliding over the soft skin of my belly, cupping and caressing my breasts. The way he was touching me was almost reverently, like he was worshiping me. I had never felt my beautiful or loved in all my life.

"Edward, I need you." My voice came out is a low whisper. I wanted him so badly it almost hurt.

He leant over to the side of the bed to his nightstand. I heard the sound of what I assume was him getting a condom. He sat up and rolled the condom over his large erection. I momentarily freaked out at his size, but I quickly pushed the thought of him not being able to fit out of my mind.

"Love, are you sure? We don't have to do this if you don't want to," Edward said as he kissed me.

"No, I love you. I want you, please," I whisper, looking into his deep green eyes.

"I love you too, Baby. It's going to hurt, and if it gets too painful you have to tell me and I'll stop," he said as he lined himself up with my entrance.

He gently began to pushing into me; I drew in a sharp breath as I felt myself stretch around him. I stopped immediately, his face colored with unease.

"I'm fine, please," I pleaded. He watched my face for I second, as if he was trying to read my mind. He continued his deliberate snail's pace movement. I couldn't take it anymore, I knew it was going to hurt but from what I had heard it only lasted a little while.

"Baby, I know it is going to hurt but… could you…just…" I didn't know how to say 'just do it' in a subtle way.

"Are you sure?" he asked again. I nodded my head whispering, "Please."

Leaning down he kissed me forcefully, shoving his tongue in my mouth. As he deepened the kiss even more, he thrust into me, causing me to gasp.

"Are you okay?" he asked, running his knuckles over my cheek.

"Yes…keep going," I breathed. He pulled back and slowly rocked forward again, eliciting more moans from each of us. He did it again, beginning a slow rhythm.

The painful burning feeling slowly started to go away with his movement. I looked up at his worried face, running my hand through his unruly hair, smiling shyly. Our bodies slowly started moving together in a perfectly timed rhythm. He stroked and kissed my breasts tenderly before moving up to my mouth. I kissed him with as much passion as I could.

We started moving faster and rougher against each other, the only sound in the room was moans and whimpers of pleasure. I bunched the sheets in one hand, as my body began trembling beneath his. He felt amazing and the pressure started to build inside me like a coil ready to snap.

"Oh, God… Oh, God… ugh… yes," I groaned loudly as he ground his pelvis into mine.

"Ugh…Bella... you feel…you feel so good," he said moaning into my neck.

"So close…so close," I panted.

"Me too." His hand made its way down my body to my clit. That was all I needed as the greatest pleasure I had ever felt crashed over my body and I cried out his name.

"Ugh, fuck…Bella," he groaned with two final trusts then collapsed onto me. He rolled over pulling me with him and kissing my temple. We didn't move, just lying there in each other's arm as our breathing slowly returned to normal.

I smiled against his chest thinking about how cliché this was, losing my virginity on prom night. I couldn't stop the giggles that fell from my lips.

"What's funny?"

"You do realize we lost our virginity on prom night, right?" I laughed loudly, leaning on my forearm so I could see him.

"We did, didn't we?" he chuckled kissing my forehead, my nose and then my lips.

"Yeah, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I love you, Edward, so, so much," I said kissing his jaw.

"I love you, too, so much Bella."

With those beautiful words floating through my head, I fell asleep with Edward holding me in his arms.

***peeks out from behind laptop* **

**How was it? That was my first lemon, and I was scared shitless writing it. **

**Sorry it has been so long since the last post. As I said last time RL got incredibly crazy! I finished school and moved back to Illinois. I still make no promises but things should be much smoother around here.**

**Thanks to my Lovely and Wonderful beta Angel. Girl you have made the last couple months so much easier. Your support means the world to me!**

**Carvamp! Thanks for being a great friend! You are wonderful! **

**Everyone who is still with me THANK YOU! I really hope you enjoyed it! **

**I'll be posting the girls dresses on my facebook! (Even Tanya's) **

**Until next time **

**Meg**

**Recs: (Go Read Them)**

**Still of the Night by StAngelS **

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6204656/1/**

**Imperador by Mariamaral (The porn movie was from this wonderful story!)**

**http:/www(.)fanfiction(.)net/s/5936153/1/**


	8. School's Out

**AN- I'll keep it short up here. Thank you to everyone who reviewed. Reviews are truly one of the best things ever. I'm very sorry that I don't reply more, I'll try to fix that I promise. Thank you to the best Beta in the world! Angel you are just the best baby! Brittan thanks for always pushing me!**

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. But the plot and word in this story are all mine.**

School's out forever  
School's out for summer  
School's out with fever  
School's out completely

School's Out- Alice Cooper

Chapter 8 – School's Out

"Bells, Edward is here. We're going to be late!" Dad called from downstairs.

"I'll be down in a sec!" I glanced once more at my dress, making sure it looked okay. The dress was a white thin strapped number with a black and teal floral design; it came to right above my knees. I had actually picked it out myself while in Port Angeles with the girls for another girl's night. I had known immediately that it was the perfect dress for graduation.

I still couldn't believe that we were graduating but at the same time I couldn't wait. Although I still hadn't heard from Le Cordon Bleu and I didn't know what I was going to do if I didn't get in, I was still excited to start the next chapter of my life.

The whole gang was headed up to Seattle with Esme and Carlisle to hunt for apartments in about a month or so. They had said for a graduation gift for all of us they would pay for two apartments for our first year of college and in return we had to keep our grades up. After that though we would all have to start paying for ourselves. We had all jumped at the offer, I mean who wouldn't.

Running my fingers through my hair, I headed down to meet Dad and Edward. Dad had insisted that he drive us to the ceremony, us being Edward and I, Emmett got to drive Rosalie in the truck. It was completely ridiculous and I let him know on numerous occasions.

When I got to the bottom of the stairs I saw Edward and Dad step away from each other. It looked like they were arguing. I was about to ask when I was suddenly swept up into a giant bear hug.

"We did it Isa! We're finally graduating!" Emmett bellowed as he spun me around in circles.

"Yeah, we did. Now put me down before I throw up all over you," I said giggling. I couldn't help laughing as he put me down and stepped away quickly.

"Emmett, you better get a move on. You still have to pick up Rose," Dad said coming to stand next to me and wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah I'm on it, Pop," Em replied and headed for the door.

Dad went to get something from the other room which left me alone with Edward for the first in what felt like forever. The four weeks after prom were packed full of studying and getting everything ready for graduation. It again seemed like we could never get any time alone. The times we did get to ourselves we took full advantage of. I don't think there was one time when we were alone that we didn't attack each other. Every time was more wild and raw than the last but somehow he still made me feel loved and beautiful.

"Bella, you look absolutely stunning." I smiled shyly stepping in front of him.

"Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself," I answered running my hands down his crispy white dress shirt. I reached up and kissed his viper bites once then kissed him again on the lips. He moaned and tried the deepen it but I stepped away quickly.

"Sorry, but Dad is in the next room," I whispered, as my ever present blush crept to my cheeks.

He kissed my forehead as ran his thumb along my jaw. "I understand."

We stood there for a moment holding each other. I think we were savoring the rare moment to ourselves.

"Bella, you do realize that Alice is going to kill you for wearing those shoes, right?" he asked looking down at my teal chucks.

"Well, Alice can kiss my ass. I'm not wearing those damn heels she got for me on the muddy football field. No fuckin way."

"Isabella, you watch your mouth," Dad said gruffly, walking back into the room with his camera.

"Sorry, dad," I mumbled then stepped out of Edward embrace.

"Alright kids, let get this show on the road. You guys don't wanna be late," Dad said, ushering us out the door.

XXX

After what seemed to be one of the longest and most awkward car rides of my life, we finally arrived at the high school. Dad gave me a hug and told me he would see me after the ceremony. We were running a little behind so once we made it to the check in we were immediately rushed to our stops in line.

Time seemed to fly after I was placed behind Emmett. We all walked out on to the football field, which was very muddy, and took our seats. Principal Hawes said a few words and then our names were being called. I watched as everyone walk across the stage in the god awful yellow cap and gowns, smiling.

It was strange to think that high school was over. There would be no more riding to school with Edward, no more hanging out at the lunch table with the gang. The last year and a half since Emmett and I had been back, we had made some good memories. Like the time I bet Emmett twenty bucks he wouldn't run down the hall, slide on his knees right up to Mrs. Haler just like Johnny Depp did in 'Benny and Joon'. He did it; top hat, cane and all. The funniest part though was Mrs. Haler's face when he shouted "Mommy". He got detention and twenty bucks.

We had also had some bad times, most recently me getting sick. The more I thought about it though the more I realized it really wasn't that bad. Yes, I was sick but it could have been so much worse. I was almost thankful for my ITP; it seemed to bring Edward and I together.

"Emmett Charles Swan."

Em walked across that stage with the biggest smile on his face and pumping his fist in the air. In the background you could hear our family and friends yelling and screaming. I think I even heard a horn, but I wasn't really paying attention. In my head I kept chanting 'Don't fall, don't fall."

"Isabella Marie Swan."

I tried to walk with confidence, head held high, I did manage to stumble a bit but at least I didn't fall. I just smiled and took my diploma and kept moving. I too got the yelling and screaming from everyone and there was a lot more of the horn.

As I got back to my seat I turned to find my dad and the Cullen's - that is when I saw her, my mother. A million emotions shot though me, surprise, happiness, confusion and then anger lots and lots of anger. I didn't understand why she was here. The last time I even heard from her was the day after I got out of the hospital. I had gotten nothing since then, not a phone call, an email, a fucking text, nothing. I blamed her for their divorce, that was no secret, but even more than that, I felt abandoned by her.

"Mom is here." I hissed at Emmett. With a raised eyebrow he just stared at me as if I was speaking German.

"What?" he asked.

"Our mother is here." I could tell the moment my words registered, the expression on his face went from confused to irritated.

"Really, wow, I'm surprised she pulled her head out of Phillip's ass long enough to come," he grumbled.

I giggled and turned to listen to Eric Yorkie give his valedictorian speech. I couldn't really focus on the speech though, all I could think about was my mom. What was I going to say to her? Did dad know she was coming? I just couldn't see him knowing that she was going to be here and not telling us. Before I knew, Principal Hawes was congratulating us.

"Congratulations Class of 2010!"

I was quickly swept up in to Emmett's arms again as he shouted along with the rest of our class. I could feel my anger dissipate; Emmett had that effect on me. I laughed and hugged him deciding I'd deal with my mother when I saw her. I spotted Edward's bronze hair through the throng of people and I just needed to go to him. I couldn't explain it, I just had to go.

"Em put me down," I said almost franticly. "We'll meet you and Rose at The Lodge," I whispered yelling over the crowd. Once I'm down on the ground I took off in the direction I thought I saw him. The families in the bleachers started to fill the field trying to find their graduate, which made it more difficult for me to find Edward. I was stopped countless times for hugs and pictures with people I didn't really even know. Even Jessica Stanley tried to get a picture with me. I really didn't have the patience to deal with her so I kept on moving.

Finally, I saw him standing with Jasper and Alice laughing at something. It was as if time stood still for at least a moment while I watched him. He looked so handsome in his white dress shirt, black slacks and his black chucks. His eyes were bright with so much happiness and joy as he threw his head back to laugh again. I love his laugh, so deep and rich. I love his smile which is always crocked. I just love him, everything about him.

My feet were moving and before my brain registered what was happening I was in front of him. He smiled as he pulled me into his warm arms. That was exactly what I needed, him, his arm around me offered more comfort than anything else in the world. I buried my head in his shoulder and breathed in his warm mint chocolate scent.

"Congrats Bell. I love you," he whispered in my ear.

I open my mouth to reply but all that comes out is a loud sob. All the emotion I had been feeling crashed over me and I couldn't stop the tears as they poured from my eyes. I was more angry than anything else. If my mom hadn't shown up I wouldn't have felt all of those conflicting emotions.

"Bella, what's wrong? Why are you crying, Sweetheart?" Edward asks rubbing my back trying to calm me down.

"My… my mother is here," I cried into his shoulder.

"Babe, it's okay." He guided me to a nearby chair and pulled me into his lap. I didn't need to explain to him any further why, he knew how I felt about her. We had had many late night conversations about all kinds of things and a lot of them were about my mother.

"Come on Bell. Calm down everything will be alright. I love you and I'll be with you the whole time. I promise," he murmured as he kissed my head. I took a couple of deep breaths trying to settle down. His scent had a calming effect on me and after a few more deep breaths I was finally able to talk without sobbing.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled wiping my eyes thankful I was wearing waterproof mascara.

"Bell, stop don't you dare tell me you are sorry," Edward said forcefully. He had told me numerous times he hated when I apologized for breaking down.

" Sor…" I cringed "I mean okay." We sat there a couple more minutes as I composed myself. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have someone like Edward. Any other guy would have run at the first sight of tears.

"You ready?" Edward whispered.

"As I'll ever be." Taking one last breath and blowing it out I stood. Edward wrapped his arms around me giving me a tight hug.

"Love you," he said before kissing me slow and deep.

XXX

We searched for about twenty minutes and still could not find our friends or family. Edward and I decided to head for the car and wait.

"I wonder what kind of apartments we're going to be getting," I mused. We were walking hand in hand toward my dad's cruiser. I knew that was a while away but I couldn't help getting excited.

"I don't really care as long as our apartment is close to yours," he said pulling me to him making me giggle.

"Now why would you want that Edward?" I asked, grinning up at his stunning face. I would never tier of him, not ever.

"Oh Isabella, don't play coy with me. You know exactly what I mean." He looked at me with one brow raised as if to dare me. I knew what he wanted me to say but I was feeling a bit playful.

"So we can study together being good little college kids, right?" I asked feigning innocence.

"Bella, the only thing I'll be studying," Edward paused pulling me even closer and bent his head down to my ear, "is your body and the things I can do to it." I am pretty sure I lost all brain function for a minute or two. He had no idea how badly I wanted that. He also had no clue that I would let him do whatever the hell he wanted to me, if only my father wasn't going to be here any second.

"I cannot wait for tonight," I murmured against his neck kissing him.

"Oh God me either," he groaned, his hands moved to my waist and then up my back making sensual patterns with his fingertips.

Tonight, as far as our parents knew, Rose and Ali were staying at my house and Edward and Emmett were staying at Jasper's. What they didn't know was Alice was going to Jasper's, Emmett to Rose's and Edward with me. My dad was going on a fishing trip with some buddies and would be gone all weekend. Thank you, Daddy!

I couldn't wait to be alone with Edward again. We had only managed to have sex two times in the last four weeks.

The first was at my house after school. We knew we had about thirty minutes before my dad walked in the door. As soon as the front door was shut Edward had me pinned to the wall. All I can say was I was happy I wore a skirt that day. The second was before class on the last day of school a week ago. We were almost to school when Edward pulled off the road down a dirt path into the woods. One of my fantasies came true that day; Edward, the backseat of the Chevelle, and me. While both times were wonderful, they were rushed and over entirely too soon.

I was brought back to reality when I realized Edward had me pushed up against my father's cruiser. He was kissing up and down my neck, nibbling every once and a while. My hands wondered from his chest to his hair just enjoying our time together.

All of a sudden the cruiser's alarm was going off. We broke apart quickly and then I heard laughing, laughter I knew very well. We turned around to see my father and mother both laughing. My dad had the key fob in his hand. Instantly I realized they had seen us and my face turned bright red. After the laughing stopped my dad's face got serious as he addressed Edward.

"I suggest you watch yourself." He then turned to Renee and told her we would meet her at The Lodge before.

After an extremely unwelcome, uncomfortable, awkward hug and congratulations from my mother we left for dinner. The car ride there was equally as awkward, if not more so. It had gotten even worse when I ask dad if he knew mom was coming. His face turned to an instant scowl as his jaw locked and his brow narrowed.

"I had no idea she was coming. I called her not long after you got sick to remind her. All she told me was she would try. Then said something about Phil being busy." He huffed shaking his head. I could tell he was uncomfortable with the subject. It was quickly dropped and the rest of the ride was silent.

XXX

I could feel Edward's eyes on me, begging me to look at him. We were all sitting at a large table towards the back of the restaurant; Edward's family and Rose on one side and Jasper and my family on the other. I had been glaring at my steak for the last twenty minutes, not saying a word. Everyone was going on and on about where they were going to college and how much fun it would be.

I wasn't as excited about college as they all were. Don't get me wrong, I was a little excited about the apartments and living on our own. But I had yet to get my acceptance letter from Le Cordon Bleu which meant I'd be going to UW. I would have to go for some shit like business instead of baking, the one thing I'd dreamed of doing.

The thing that was killing me the most was how Jasper was talking about all the wonderful things he would be learning there. I was jealous and sad and really pissed off. I wanted to be happy and excited for him and everyone else, I was just having a really hard time with it.

"I think it's time for gifts," Esme announced, happily pulling a small gift bag onto the table. She smiled brightly as she handed all six of us identical little boxes wrapped in silver paper.

"Mom, you and dad are already getting us the apartments. You didn't have…"

"Alice just open your gift," Esme said cutting her off.

We all ripped the paper off and opened the boxes. In my box was a purple cupcake keychain with a key attached. I looked up at Esme confused by what the key was for.

"They are keys to your apartments in Seattle. We've already rented them and you guys can move in about month and a half. I'm still finishing the decorating." Esme grinned from ear to ear.

Alice squealed and jumped up running over to her parents.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she shrieked hugging them both.

"You're very welcome Sweetheart," Carlisle said.

I was so excited and I couldn't believe that they had already gotten our apartments. We were all having a wonderful time as Esme told us about the apartments and how she was decorating them. That was her specialty and I was positive that they would look amazing.

"Oh! Bella I almost forgot…" My mother said as she reached into her ridiculously large purse. "This came in the mail a couple of months ago." She added with a big smile on her face handing me a large envelope.

As soon as my eyes landed on it I know what it was. I ripped open the envelope and finally read what I had been waiting for. I was accepted. I got into Le Cordon Bleu Seattle, the one place I wanted to go. I looked up to see Edward smiling at me and his eyebrows raised in question. I nodded beaming at him.

"What is it Bells?" Dad asked from the end of the table.

"It's my acceptance letter from culinary school," I answered.

"I always knew you'd get in baby girl." He smiled.

Everyone was congratulating me telling me how proud they were when I started to think about what my mom had said. 'This came in the mail a couple of months ago.' A couple of months ago!

"Mom when did you say you got this?" I asked in as calm a voice I could.

"Oh I'm not sure. I think it was back in January," she said waving her hand as if it were nothing.

"January?" I asked as my eyebrows shot up.

"Yes. I think so." She nodded.

"You have had this for five months? Five months and you couldn't call me to tell me or even email me." I held up the letter as my voice began to rise. "Why would you though? You didn't even call one time to see how I was doing after you found out I was sick," I said shaking my head in disappointment and smiling humorlessly. I saw everyone's eyes on me but I didn't care I had to get this out.

"Do you even care that I'm sick? I have to go to the hospital every two weeks to get a treatment. Do you even know what it is that I have? Probably not." As I spoke my voice grew softer and tears began to flow from my eyes. I was so hurt that she had chosen not to tell me about the letter. I sat there for a moment giving her the opportunity to answer any of my questions, but none came. She sat there staring at me like I had grown a second head.

After a good five minutes and still no response I stood slowly.

"Renee…" I started my voice full of hatred but my dad interrupted.

"Bella don't talk to your mother that way," he said gruffly with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry Dad," I sighed "But she hasn't acted like a mother. The moment we moved to Chicago she stopped caring about our family. She became a completely different person. Someone I don't like very much, so I think I'll call her by her name."

I took a deep breath and looked at my mother. Her bright blue eyes looked sad but she still didn't utter a word.

"Renee, I love you very much. But I am very hurt and angry right now. When you start acting like the mother I grew up with I may forgive you but for now I think I'm going to go." My eyes were full of tears. I couldn't stay there anymore I had to leave. I turned to Emmett and hugged him tight.

"Can I take the truck, please?" I asked him quietly.

"Yeah, we'll get a ride from Jazz. Be careful," he said hugging me back before handing me the keys to our truck.

Once I had the keys I quickly gathered my things and headed for the door. I didn't see him or hear him but I knew Edward was following me. As I stepped outside he wrapped his strong arms around me holding me to him. I completely lost it, sobbing into his shoulder.

"Come on baby, let me get you home." Edward spoke softly into my hair. I merely nodded and let him lead me to the truck.

XXX

Thirty minutes later Edward and I were sitting on the couch where we had been since arriving at my house. He hadn't brought up my mother or anything that happened at dinner, I didn't either. I had no desire to even think about any of it. But I knew we needed to talk about it.

"Sorry, I made such a scene. I just lost control when I realized she'd kept that letter from me for five fucking months," I growled.

"It's fine. I'm pretty sure that I would have done the same thing. But on the bright side you got into the school of your choice. That has to feel good." He smiled. I grinned back; it did feel good, really, really good.

"It does, it feels amazing. I'm going to actually get to do what I've always wanted to do." I gushed.

"I'm very happy for you, Love," he said pulling me into his lap, kissing my neck.

"Edward… my dad… ugh… could walk in." I groaned as he worked his way up my neck and along my jaw.

Just as his lips met mine and his hands met my ass I heard it, a car door slam. I scrambled fast to get off Edward's lap and to make it look like we weren't just going at it.

"Isabella," my father yelled out as he shut the door. I couldn't tell if he was mad or not, I was really hoping for the latter.

"In here dad," I called. He came around the corner looking at me then Edward.

"Can I have a minute with my daughter Edward?" Dad asked gruffly.

"Of course, Sir," Edward answered and swiftly left the room.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he said looking at me as if I were about to break.

"I'm fine now, sorry… about dinner," I mumbled. I felt truly embarrassed about the way I acted, but that's not to say that I regretted it. Everything I said needed to be said. I could have gone about it in a much better way though.

"I'm not going to tell you that that it was okay. But I do know that you have been really stressed lately and those things were very true. She is still your mother though and you need to treat her with respect."

"I know, she just makes me so mad," I growled.

Chuckling he said, "Baby girl, she does that to everyone. You're just going to have to get used to it."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Alright, I'm gonna hit the road. I'll be back late Sunday night. And Edward needs to leave by midnight." He said and then kissed my forehead adding "I love you, Sugar."

"Love you too Daddy"

XXX

Once I was positive that my father was gone I silently took Edward's hand and quickly led him up the stairs to my room. I couldn't wait to get him in my bed.

"Eager?" he asked and I couldn't see it but I heard the smile in his voice.

"Baby, you have no idea," I answered in a low husky voice.

Before I knew what was happening he had me in his arms and practically sprinted up the remaining stairs to my bedroom. He walked us directly to my bed laying me down gently. He stood slowly eyeing me like I was his next meal and I was more than willing.

Edward stepped back from the bed, kicking off his shoes. Then he sat at the end of the bed slowly untying my shoes and pulling them off my feet along with my socks. Moving to sit at my side he twisted to lay feather light kisses along my bare shoulder and neck.

I couldn't really think, my body felt as if it had been set ablaze. I wanted him so much; it had been far too long. Granted it had only been a week but one week too damn long.

I began undoing the buttons of his shirt. Seeing what I wanted he swiftly finished and removed the shirt. Getting up off the bed I unzipped the back of my dress letting the straps fall from my shoulders. I then let the dress fall to the floor leaving me standing in only my bra and panties.

Edward's eyes raked over my body. Weeks ago I may have felt self-conscious but now all I felt was beautiful. I climbed back onto the bed pushing him back so he was flat on his back. I took my hand and ran it confidently over the outline of his erection several times.

"Oh god… Bella… stop." His hand shot out stopping me from any further movement.

I quickly retracted my hand as if he'd burnt me. I thought he would've enjoyed that. I always thought guys liked girls touching their cocks. Without warning hot tears fell from my eye. Within a matter of seconds I went from hurt to rejected to really pissed.

"We don't have to do anything if you don't want to Edward." My voice was harsher than I intended and quickly turned away from him getting off the bed. There was no way I could just sit there after being turned down. I made my way over to my dresser pulling out my sleep things then moved to my bathroom.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Edward asked in a tight voice.

"I'm going to take a shower." I squeaked before shutting the door behind me. I turned the water on and stripped my undies off before stepping into the shower. The last time I felt so rejected was fourth grade when I asked Tyler to be my valentine. He had laughed at me and called me stupid. This was different though, Edward had never in all the years I had known him ever made me feel this way before.

"Bella," Edward's voice came through the bathroom door. I ignored him and continued with my shower.

"Bella, can I please come in?" he asked.

"No."

"Come on Bell. Just talk to me, please," he pleaded opening the door.

"Bella, what did I do?" Edward asked in a firm voice pulling the shower curtain open. I yelped in surprise trying to cover myself but ended up slipping. I would have fallen flat on my ass if Edward hadn't caught me. He wrapped my naked body in his strong arms pulling me close.

"Are you okay?" He pulled back looking me over making sure I wasn't hurt.

"Yes...I mean no….I really don't know," I cried. I was losing my mind I was sure of it. I couldn't make up my mind. I was happy one second and sad the next. I felt like my head was going to explode

"Alright, calm down sweet girl. Calm down, breathe." Edward repeated over and over as he carried me back into my bedroom.

He sat me on the bed and proceeded to dry me off all while I sat there sobbing. I couldn't get a grip on my emotions. I felt very out of control.

"Baby, tell me what's wrong," he instructed, pulling a t-shirt over my head.

"Y…you…rejected me," I started crying harder turning away.

"No, I didn't Bella..." he began.

"Yes, you did. You grabbed my wrist and pushed it away," I hissed. I knew what happen he couldn't tell me that he didn't stop me.

"Alright, I push your hand away." He let out a frustrated sigh. "But I was not rejecting you. God Bella, I want you so damn bad I can't even think straight. I stopped you because if you continued I would have…" he trailed off looking down.

"You would have…" I started but then it hit me. "Oh God you were about to come!" I screeched looking at him in surprise.

"Yeah, I wasn't rejecting you. I would never do that, ever," he said wiping the tears from my face.

I smiled up at him. He hadn't rejected me. He wanted me. Somewhere in the back of my muddled brain I knew that. I knew that he wanted me.

"I'm sorry Edward. Forgive me, please. I don't know what came over me. When you stopped me I felt so embarrassed I had to get away," I mumbled my apology.

Edward pulled me onto his lap and kissed me before whispering, "You're forgiven."

The atmosphere shifted quickly and we were back to where we were before my emotional breakdown.

His hands roamed from my knees up my thighs finally settling on my ass. He kneaded my bare flesh as his lips and tongue did delicious things to my neck. I let my hands wander through his hair and along the tattoo on his back. Edward pulled back just enough to rid me of my shirt. He then laid me on the bed hovering over me.

One of his hands moved slowly from the outside of my thigh to the inside. He was teasing me when all I wanted was for him to touch me. He continued his torture; his fingers would get so close to where I needed them then he'd pull away.

"Edward, please," I breathed.

"What do you want?" His voice was low and raspy in my ear as he sucked and nibbled at my lobe.

"Touch me," I moaned, lifting my hips.

Again his fingers made the same torturous circuit and when I thought he was going to pull away he didn't. His fingers slid between my folds quickly finding my little bundle of nerves.

"Oh God, you're so wet," he moaned.

"Ugh… yes," I panted.

He quickened his pace making tight circles around my clit. My hips began to buck against his hand as my orgasm rapidly approached.

"Oh shit. Fuck…ugh." I laid there panting coming down from my fabulous high.

"You're so beautiful when you come." Edward breathed, kissing my lips.

I giggled as my cheeks grew hot. "Thank you."

XXX

We spent the rest of the night and most of the weekend making love. When we weren't touching each other we were talking about the future. We were very happy to be moving on to the next stage in our lives. Edward was very excited about starting college and learning all there was to know about being a sound engineer.

It finally hit me sometime Saturday that I really was going to culinary school. After it really sunk in I couldn't shut up about it. Edward sat and listened to me as I talked about different culinary techniques I was excited to learn.

He left on Sunday afternoon before my dad came home. After he left I clean the house a little until Emmett returned home.

We had an awkward conversation about our weekends. Neither of us wanted to talk about the giant pink elephant in the room. Emmett finally broke the proverbial ice.

"So how are you? With the whole mom thing I mean." He was being cautious.

"I'm still really pissed off. Not just about the acceptance letter though. She couldn't even say anything to me. Not an apology or anything," I ranted.

"I know. I don't really know what to think. She's changed so much. She's not the same mom we had," Emmett said, sadness pulling at his features.

I nodded, there wasn't much else to say. Our mother had gone from one of the most loving and caring mother's anyone could hope for to someone who didn't give a shit about anything but herself.

Not long after that dad came home with pizza. We sat and talked for a while until I saw the time. It was eleven and I had a doctor's appointment in the morning.

XXX

Edward picked me up around eight in the morning. I had told him he didn't have to take me, I had gotten use to the routine at the doctor's office and felt comfortable going alone but he insisted.

Emily was my nurse again and she got right down to business drawing my blood and setting up the IV. I was again exhausted and ended up sleeping the whole two hours.

When I was dressed we headed up to Carlisle's office. This part still made me extremely nervous. They could always find something new or the treatment could stop working. It was all very frightening.

"Come in," Carlisle called after Edward knocked.

When I looked at Carlisle's face I knew something was wrong. His usual calm happy face looked stressed and sad.

"Dad, what's wrong?" Edward asked obviously seeing the same things I did.

Carlisle sighed loudly and looked at me and then to Edward and back again. I started shaking, this was not going to be good. The treatment probably stopped working or maybe they found something else, cancer maybe.

"Bella, we have found something in your blood work."

**AN- *peeks out from behind computer* its ok you can throw things if you feel the need. I understand. I promise all will be revealed soon. (I've already started the next chapter)  
**

**So what are your thoughts? What did they find in Bella's blood work? Let me know what you're thinking. **

**I'm on twitter as Meg23287 come by and chat. I also have a facebook page with pictures and other goodies!**

http:/www(dot)facebook(dot)com/pages/Meg23287-FanFiction/133266780046725

Until next time

Meg

**Rec- ****Love is the End – ****Truly one of the best fics I've ever read. It's very emotional and written beautifully.**

**www**** (dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6445022/1/Love_is_the_End**


	9. We're In This Together

**AN: Hello again! *waves* I know it has been entirely too long since my last update. I was almost finished with this baby when RL came in and kicked me hard. I lost my writing mojo for a while but I got it back now though. Oh and FYI this is the first 'scene' I thought of when I started writing So Much.**

**One last thing… in 7 days it will have been a year since I started posting. I can't believe it. Thank you all for sticking with me. Enough talk on with the show…**

** (More at the bottom)**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

You and me

we're in this together now

none of them can stop us now

we will make it through somehow

you and me

even after everything

you're the queen and I'm the king

nothing else means anything

**We're In This Together- Nine Inch Nails**

Chapter 9 – We're In This Together

**Edward**

"Bella, we have found something in your blood work."

My heart dropped to my stomach. I had known from the moment we stepped into his office that something was off. My dad looked stressed and tired the complete opposite of how he looked this morning. At breakfast he was very happy with how Bella had been doing. She seemed to be getting healthier every day. She was still sleeping all the time but Dad said that was normal.

"What did you find? Is it bad? What am I saying, of course it's bad." Bella rambled in a shaky voice. I pulled her close to me letting my finger run through her long hair, trying to sooth her.

"Bella, Sweetheart please calm down. What we found is truly not bad. The timing is bad, but that is all, really," Carlisle said.

We both just sat there looking at him as if he'd grown a second head. What did he mean 'the timing is bad'? I was beyond confused and from what I could tell so was Bella.

"Dad, what do you mean? I'm a little confused here," I asked.

"Well…" Carlisle stood up from his desk and started pacing the room. That made me unbelievably nervous.

"Carlisle please tell me. I'm freak out over here," Bella said biting her lip.

"Alright." He took a deep breath then continued "Bella, I believe you're pregnant."

"That's not possible. I'm on birth control and we always used a condom," Bella said shaking her head.

"Bella, nothing is one hundred percent effective. Condoms can break and as for the birth control a number of your medicines could have thrown it off," Carlisle explained.

"Pregnant?" I mumbled to myself as I tried to process what he had just told us, but I couldn't. Bella's pregnant. How did it happen? Well I know how it happened. But, we were so careful. I always used a condom and she is on birth control. She can't be pregnant. This is the last thing we need right now. No this is the last thing she needs right now. Is she even healthy enough to carry a baby?

A baby, oh God what have I done.

"Edward, son are you alright?" My dad was right in front of me now with his hands on my shoulders. It took me a second to shake the haze from my brain. My thoughts cleared the instant I looked at Bella. She looked so scared and confused. She needed me.

"Yeah, I'm… fine," I said shaking my head. "Bell, are you okay, Sweetheart?" I asked as I rubbed circles on her lower back.

"I'm…pregnant?" She looked from me to my father with tears brimming her eyes.

"Yes, you are," My dad confirmed sadly.

"We just graduated for god sakes. I don't know the first thing about being a mom. We're supposed to go to college. Oh no the ITP…" she looked at my father asking with her eyes.

"Bella I can't say right now what is going to happen. Your platelets have been going up rapidly, which is very good. But before I can say anything for sure you need to go down to see Dr. Kelley. She is the best OB/GYN in the hospital if not the state. I've already called her and she is excepting you. Once she is done I'd like it if you would come back here so we can discuss this further," Carlisle said in his doctor's voice. We both nodded and began to stand.

"Before you head down there I'd like to talk to you as a parent," He said with a sigh looking at me. I was waiting for the lecture we were sure to get. We were irresponsible. What were we thinking? But it didn't come.

"I know you're both scared right now. Which is perfectly normal, I'd be worried if you weren't. This is probably the worst time for you to have a child and I'm not happy about this but there isn't much we can do now. Unless…" He trailed off looking at Bella.

"Unless what?" Bella asked I could tell the moment that what he was asking hit her. Bella's brown eyes grew large in shock and then quickly switched to anger. "God, no! No!" Bella shouted covering her stomach protectively. "I will not be ending this pregnancy," she stated firmly looking directly at him.

"Bella, I would never ask you to do that. That baby is my grandchild after all. I just didn't want to assume that you were keeping the baby, " Carlisle said looking apologetic.

Bella nodded her head meekly in response. I pulled her close kissing her head. I had no idea what else to do. I was on autopilot and doing what came naturally. Bella needed me and I would do anything to comfort her.

"Okay you two can head down to see Dr. Kelley now. I'll be here when you're done," Dad said standing. He hugged us both and told us he would be there for us no matter what. I thanked him but I was still not really there to be honest. Could you blame me though, my father just told me - us that we were going to be parents. We just graduated high school three fucking days ago. And now we're going to have a baby.

O.o

The ride in the elevator was quiet, too quiet. We stood in the back holding each other. Neither one of us knew what to say. I didn't even know how I felt about it. There were so many things running through my mind.

One part of me, the larger part was disappointed; I didn't want to be a father yet. I was only eighteen. I wanted to go to college, get my degree and make a life for Bella and myself. Selfishly I didn't want to share her. I wanted to get married before we had children, which I was hoping was way down the road.

The other part, a considerably smaller part, was…happy. Yes, happy would work. Isabella Swan the girl I had been in love with since grade school was having my child. I could almost see the child, a girl with her mother's beautiful chocolate hair and eyes.

"Edward?" Bella said

"Huh?" I asked shaking the beautiful vision out of my mind.

"We're here," She said her big brown eyes looked so worried, it broke my heart.

I guided her off the elevator and to the bench to the left. I had to tell her that I was going to be there for her.

"Bella, no matter what they tell us in there, I love you. Yes, this is shitty timing; I wish this could have happened later on down the road, but it didn't. Whatever happens we will do this together. Okay?"

She nodded and her tears began to fall again. I wrapped my arms around her holding her tight to me.

"Bella, talk to me Sweetheart. Please," I whispered in her hair, rocking her gently.

"I'm so scared…of everything," She breathed into my neck.

"I'm scared too baby. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's see what Dr. Kelley has to say and then go from there. One thing at a time." I was really hoping I was making sense. I just knew I had to try to keep her calm. I knew stress wasn't good for the baby.

_Baby…_

"Okay, let's get this over with." She looked up at me with red rimmed eyes. I nodded and left a lingering kiss on her forehead.

Once we made it into the office and we checked in with the receptionist we were ushered back where an older blond nurse named Lucy checked Bella's height and weight. We were then taken back to a room where Lucy checked her blood pressure. Bella was handed a clipboard with papers that the nurse asked her to fill out, they were the standard information forms. Bella quickly and very quietly finished them and handed them to Lucy.

"Dr. Kelley will be in with you shortly." Lucy said and left the room.

"She could use a personality," Bella mumbled causing me to smirk. We sat silently for a while both lost in our thoughts until she spoke again.

"Do you think he could be wrong?"

I took a deep breath letting it out slowly before answering. "I don't think so. Carlisle wouldn't say something like this unless he was totally sure."

"Yeah, that is what I was thinking." She nodded pausing for a second before saying "My father is going to kill us." That was something I knew was at least half true.

"No, he is going to kill me," I sighed.

"Edward…" She was cut off as a tall red headed woman walked into the room.

"Hello, I'm Victoria Kelley. You must be Bella Swan and Edward Masen." She greeted us with a large smile. "It is very nice to meet you." She added shaking our hands. We nodded saying hello.

"Now, Dr. Cullen seems to believe that you're pregnant. He sent me the results he got back for your blood work and I would have to say he is correct," Dr. Kelley said with a small smile.

"Now Bella when would you say your last menstrual period was?"

"Um… I'm not totally sure. Since I've been getting my treatments for the ITP I haven't really gotten one?" Bella sounded like she was asking a question as she squirmed next to me. I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze but stayed silent. What was I supposed to say?

"That's alright I should be able to tell how far along you are from the ultrasound. Have you been experiencing any of the following symptoms; swollen or tender breasts, fatigue, nausea, backaches, headaches, frequent urination?" Dr. Kelley asked.

"No, not really, I've been tired a lot but I have been for months. It's one of the effects of the ITP," Bella answered.

"Alright, why don't you hop on up here and we'll have a look," she said patting exam table.

Bella stood slowly and climbed up on the table. She looked incredibly pale and so scared. I scooted my chair next to her as the doctor set up the ultrasound machine and turned the lights off.

"I love you," I whispered and kissed Bella's mouth. A light blush colored her cheeks and she gave me a tight smile.

"Okay, Bella lift your shirt up to under your breasts and roll your jeans down. Now this may be a bit cold," The doctor said as she squeezed a clear gel on Bella's stomach. Bella squeaked and gripped my hand tighter.

Here it goes, I thought. From everything Dr. Kelley had said Bella was pregnant but this was going to be the actual proof. I was scared shitless. This was going to change everything for us.

The doctor moved the wand around on Bella's stomach and then there was a picture on the screen. It was black and white and didn't look like much, to me at least. Dr. Kelley studied the monitor for a moment then paused and pushed some buttons as she hummed to herself. She repeated this several time before she said anything.

"Okay, you see right there and there." She said pointing to two little spots on the screen. Bella and I both nodded as we squinted at the screen.

"Well, that is baby A and that is baby B. Congratulations you're having twins!" Dr. Kelley exclaimed

The world stopped; twins, two babies. We were having twins. How were we going to do this? One baby was scary enough, now we are to have two. Panic began to swirl in my head. This was going to be so much harder than I ever imagined.

I looked over at Bella's face for the first time since the doctor started the Ultrasound. What I saw was the most heartbreakingly beautiful smile on her face. That was all I needed. I didn't know how we were going to manage this but it didn't matter right then. Nothing else mattered at that moment apart from Bella and our babies.

**Bella**

I'm gonna lose him…

That was the first thing I thought when Carlisle said I was pregnant. Edward would leave me. No teenage boy wants to have a baby. He would leave and fine someone else skinnier and prettier. There was no way he would want me now, even if he did love me.

Of course all those thoughts left as soon as he pulled me to the bench and told me he loved me and we would get through this together. The sincerity and love in his eyes told me he was telling the truth. We would do this together. We would love this baby and care for it. We were going to be parents.

"Let's see here. It looks like you're about five weeks." Dr. Kelley said pulling me from my thoughts.

I just laid there watching the monitor as she moved the wand on my tummy. Before she started the ultrasound it didn't feel real. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I was pregnant. I was only eighteen. I didn't want to be a teenage mother. Then there was my health. What if I wasn't healthy enough to carry a baby? Everything was so terrifying, but as soon as she pointed to the two little spots on the screen the fear faded.

I could feel the smile spread across my face. I was having twins. In an instant I was happier than I had ever been. I was going to be a mother. I could picture the babies, both boys with Edward's bright green eyes, messy bronze hair and his crooked smile.

"Would you like me to print some pictures of your little ones?" The doctor asked pulling me from my thoughts of my boys.

"Yes, please." I smiled brightly turning to look at Edward. He was staring at me with that crooked smirk I loved so much.

"Twins," he whispered against my lips before giving me the most passionate kiss.

"I know," I whispered back as we pulled apart.

After the doctor cleaned off my belly and I had straightened out my clothes she started to explain what was going to happen next. Having twins was high risk anyway but add my blood disorder it was a lot worst. They would have to monitor me very closely. Dr. Kelley said that she didn't see me continuing my treatments as a problem but that she would talk with Carlisle.

"When would you say her due date is?" Edward asked

"Well from the ultrasound I believe she is around five weeks give or take a day or two. So, I'd say… February ninth."

O.O

We headed back up to Carlisle's office shortly after. I was scheduled to come back in two weeks. I was actually getting excited as we got closer to his office. I wanted to show him the pictures.

In the back of my mind I knew that this was going to be hard. We had so much to talk about, but at that very moment I just wanted to enjoy it. Edward seemed to feel the same, the smile never left his face.

Right before we got to the door Edward stopped pulling me into a very hot kiss. My hand quickly went to his neck as I opened my mouth to him. His tongue attacked my own as we kissed for what felt like hours. We pulled apart as the need for oxygen became vital.

"What was that for?" I gasped trying to catch my breath

"Can't I just want to kiss you? Does there have to be a reason?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

"Of course you can." I blushed.

"Good. I love you," he said with a quick peck on the cheek before opening his father's office door.

Carlisle was sitting behind his desk talking on the phone. Edward and I settled into the couch that only an hour ago we were told what I felt then was the worst news possible. That wasn't the case anymore though.

"Yes, we'll see you tonight. Love you too," Carlisle said before hanging up.

Carlisle looked at us both cautiously. I could tell he didn't know how to approach the subject, rightfully so. When we had left earlier I was a mess and I was scared, not that I wasn't scared now. In the last hour I had come to terms with the fact that I was pregnant with twins. There was no way to change that, that I could live with anyway. One thing having ITP had taught me was you need to live life and enjoy every minute because things can change in the blink of an eye. So instead of seeing everything that was going to be changing as a bad thing, I was going to embrace them.

"Wha…" Carlisle stated but I interrupted quickly.

"Carlisle, would you like to see a picture of your grandchildren?" I asked with a slight smile. He sat there for a moment before just nodding his head. I held out the pictures of the ultrasound and as he took them he realized what I had said.

"Grandchildren?" His face was colored with pure shock.

"Bella is having twins," Edward confirmed smiling brightly.

Carlisle sat and stared in awe at the pictures. After a few minutes a smile began to tug at his lips.

"Wow. How are you two feeling about this? This is a lot to take in at one time." Carlisle always had such compassion for everyone.

"I was so scared when you told us; I'm still so freaking scared. But the moment I saw the picture on the screen something just clicked. I know this is going to be very hard but I think we can do this," I said and for the millionth time I started to cry.

"I have no doubt that you can do this. You're right, it is going to be very hard not only emotionally but it's going to be very difficult on you physically. Luckily your platelets have been going up and you are at a normal level right now. I think for the time being we are going to try to just maintain the level they are now. We will monitor you very closely though," he said answering some of my unspoken questions. I still had so many other questions though.

"Can my ITP affect the babies?" This was my greatest fear, that this disorder could hurt the babies.

"There is a chance that it could cause moderate to severe thrombocytopenia in the babies. There is a very small chance that they will have a severe case. There is no way to know for sure, not until they are born," he answered kindly. It was apparent that he was trying not to scare me.

"Do you have any other questions?" Carlisle asked looking at both of us. I did, but I just wanted to go home and take a nap first, it had been a long and stressful morning.

"Yeah, but I'd really like to go home. I'm bit tired and hungry." As if on cue my stomach growled loudly.

"Edward take her home and feed her she is eating for three now," Carlisle chuckled and then his face got serious.

"I haven't told your mother yet because I feel you two should do that yourselves and the sooner the better," He said looking at Edward.

"Bella you should tell your father soon as well." I grimaced at the thought. It was going to be a painful conversation. I didn't see my dad being as understanding as Carlisle.

"I know," I sighed heavily.

"Bella it will be okay. He's not going to be happy. He'll need some time," Carlisle said giving me a tight hug.

"Thank you Carlisle. Your support means the world to me." I hugged him back trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Of course, Bella you're part of my family."

O.o

On the way back to my house we stopped at a little diner near the hospital to pick up some much needed lunch. I couldn't decide what I wanted to eat, so I got both a Ruben sandwich and a cheeseburger with fries. There was no way I would eat it all.

The ride home was quiet and slightly awkward, which was very strange for us. Every time I would start to say something I'd freeze. I knew we needed to talk, really talk about everything. There were so many questions in my head. Would my babies be okay? What was my dad going to say? Would I still be able to go to college? If I couldn't what was I going to do?

I was so lost in the never ending questions in my head that I didn't even realize that we were in my drive way. When I looked up I saw the last person I wanted to see, my mother. She was sitting on the porch talking with Emmett and my father. If you didn't know any better they looked like a happy normal family.

"I thought your mom left yesterday," Edward whispered as though they could hear us from his car.

"Yeah, that is what I was told. Ugh! I don't want to talk to her. This is becoming the longest fucking day of my life," I growled. All I wanted to do was eat my lunch and take a long nap.

"Do you want to tell them now and get it over with or wait a little while?" Edward asked taking my hand kissing my knuckles.

I really did not want to tell them. Telling my dad would be bad enough but with my mother there it would be ten times worse. Renee felt very strongly that she got married and had kids to young. I knew what she would think of me being pregnant considering I was three years younger than her when she had Em and I. But I knew I'd have to tell them sooner rather than later.

"Yeah, we might as well rip this Band-Aid off quickly," I said as I opened the car door holding my lunch.

Edward took my hand as we walked up the stairs to our death.

"Hey, Bells! What did the doc say today?" My dad asked as we stepped on the porch.

_Wow, dad couldn't have started with an easier question,_ I though sarcastically.

"Well he had a lot to say," I sighed.

"Are you okay baby girl?" Dad asked standing up.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I didn't want to do this right here on the damn front porch.

"Why don't we go inside and let Bella eat and we'll tell you what they found." Edward was a life saver, not only did he get us inside but I'd get to eat.

"Great idea, I'm starved," I said heading in the house not waiting for anyone else.

I quickly pulled all my food from the bag and began eating. I still couldn't decide which I wanted so I ate some of both. I moaned loudly at the first bite of the Ruben. There were no words how absolutely delicious it truly was. Edward came in and sat next to me. Emmett and my parents followed closely behind.

"Alright, what did he find?" Dad asked with a really scared look on his face. He was sitting across from me with Renee next to him. I'll give her some credit she did look worried.

"Well…" I said my eyes bouncing from one person to the other finally landing on Edward. He lent in close and whisper 'I love you. We are in this together.' before kissing my temple.

Taking a deep breath and setting down my food I looked at my father.

"Dr. Cullen told me… I mean us that I'm… pregnant."

My father's face went from worried to confused to angry in less than thirty seconds but he didn't say anything. Renee on the other hand decided to break her silence.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" She screamed standing from the table. "You just graduated high school three fucking days ago. There is no way that either of you can handle taking care of a baby. I knew I shouldn't have let you come back to this piece of shit town," she seethed.

"Oh, give me a fucking break! You were practically shoving me and Emmett on the plane." I laughed humorlessly

"Isabella, don't talk…"

"No, you don't. Don't even begin to try to tell me what to do," I said in a low cold voice. I stood quickly grabbing my purse and my lunch and headed for my room. There was no way in hell I was going to sit there and listen to her 'try' to be a mother.

"Isabella, get back here! I'm taking you to the clinic and fix _this_ right now." I heard her shout as if I had no choice. My hand went directly to my stomach. Like hell I was going anywhere with her.

"Renee I think you should leave, now." My dad finally spoke, his voice colder than I had ever heard it.

"Charles I'm not going anywhere. If you had been watching her…" She just wouldn't shut up.

"Goddamn it woman, don't make me call the station. You will not talk to my daughter that way. Leave. Now." I heard my father growl.

That was the last thing I heard before I got to my room a slammed the door. I dropped my things on the nightstand and threw myself on my bed and let the tears flow again. All at once the fears I'd been holding back came plummeting down like rain.

Pregnant. Who knew that just one word could change your life forever?

What were we going to do? Could I still go to college? If I could, would I be able to finish on time? Would we still be moving with everyone else? It was all so much to take in. I was going to be a mother of not one but two babies. As that thought passed through my mind I pulled the pictures Dr. Kelley had given me. If I hadn't been shown earlier I wouldn't have known what I was looking at. But those two little dots were my babies. I already loved them more than I ever thought I could love anything or anyone.

There was a knock and then Edward stuck his head in.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yes… no ugh! I don't know. Edward, what are we going to do? Everything feels like it's happening so fast. We've only been together for a little over two months and now we're having two babies. This isn't how I envisioned my life going. We were supposed to go to college and then we would start our careers, marriage and then babies." I was bordering on the line of hysterical.

Edward sat on the edge of my bed and wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kissed my head.

"Look at me," he whispered. I shook my head looking at my lap.

"Isabella, look at me." I did, warily.

"Bella, if you think that this is how I saw our life going, you're nuts. Not once did I see us becoming parents at nineteen let alone parents of twins. But that is the hand we've been dealt. Life doesn't always go the way you want it too. I don't know all the answers but I do know that we're going to be okay. Don't believe what your mother said. We're in this together I know we can do this." I nodded but otherwise stayed quiet lost in my own thoughts

He believed what he had said. I could see it in his eyes. I didn't know if any of what he said was true but I wanted it to be. I wanted to believe that we would make it through. I didn't know what was ahead for us, if we could both handle the stress of being teenage parents. I did know however that I would try my hardest to be a better mother than my own.

We sat on my bed for a little while not saying anything just staring at the picture of our babies. It was bizarre to think I had two little lives growing inside of me.

"Are you ready to head over to my house? We need to tell my mom," Edward asked standing and offering his hand. I looked from his hand to his face and back, I didn't want to go.

If I was being totally honest I'd have to say that I was more terrified to tell Esme than my own mother. Esme was the one woman I had always looked up to. I didn't want to see disappointment on her face.

"Come on, Sweetheart. Everything will be fine. Remember I'll be with you," he said taking my hand.

I knew he was right. He would be with me and we would get through it together.

* * *

**AN: So most of you were right. Bella's pregnant with Twins! I know some people didn't want this to happen and if you stop reading I'll understand. But as I said at the top this is where the whole thing started in my head. Let me know what you are thinking.  
**

**I need to thank Angel my fabulous beta, who a couple days after I posted the last chapter gave birth to the most precious little boy. Angel baby you are truly the best! I am so happy that a year ago you agreed to go on this crazy journey with me. I love ya, babe!**

**Brittan thanks again for pushing me. You're the best pusher ever.**

**Recs:**

**I normally rec fics but today I'm gonna rec an author. Every one of CaraNo's stories are amazing and if you're not reading them you should be.**

**www( . )fanfiction( .) net/u/2712792/CaraNo**

**Until next time…**

**Meg**


	10. I Alone

_AN: Sorry :( Longer AN at the bottom. On with the show..._

* * *

_I alone love you  
I alone tempt you  
I alone love you  
**I ****Alone-****Live**_

**Chapter 10- I Alone**

Although I knew Esme wouldn't have the same reaction as my mother, I was still incredibly nervous on the drive over. I stared out the window not speaking, just watching the never ending green blur of the trees fly by. I was so hurt by the things Renee had said. How could she want me to get rid of my babies? After all, they were her grandchildren. I sighed and Edward squeezed my hand as if to say 'we're fine and I'm here for you'.

When we finally pulled up the driveway my heart started to pound so hard I thought it might beat out of my chest. That was until I saw the car in the drive way and my heart stopped completely.

Parked in front of Edward's house was my mother's car.

"What the fuck is she doing here?" I shrieked. I was out of the car and half way up the front steps before Edward caught up to me. I was positive that she was here telling Esme about my pregnancy. I was so pissed. No, I was so far beyond pissed, there was no word to describe it. She had no right to tell anyone anything. Edward quickly wrapped his arms around me bringing me to a halt.

"Bella you need to calm down. It's not good for you or the babies," he said in a hushed but firm voice.

"Edward," I growled, as I tried to get out of his arms.

"No, you have got to calm down before you go in there. You have no idea what she is doing here. It might not be what you're thinking." His voice was still firm but I could tell he wasn't happy either.

"Edward Masen, I swear on all that is fucking holy, if you don't let me go you will lose something very precious to the both of us," I said lowly.

"What would that be?" Sarcasm heavy in his voice, he was beginning to really piss me off.

"Your dick, now let me go," I growled as I twisted out of his hold. In a matter of seconds I was in the house and heading for the living room with Edward hot on my heels.

"…now Bella's life is ruined because your little shit-head couldn't keep his dick in his pants!" I heard Renee scream as I rounded the corner and I stopped short taking in the scene before me.

Renee and Esme were no more than a foot apart, my mother had her hands clinched into fists at her sides as she screamed Edward's mother. Esme looked furious but if I didn't know her I wouldn't have been able to tell.

"Renee, I'll be glad to talk with you about this but if you insult my son again I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Esme gritted out with a tight smile.

"Esme…" My mother began but there was no way I was letting her make this any worse.

"Renee, what in the hell are you doing here?" My voice was calm, eerily so as I walked closer to them.

"Isabella, you need to watch your mouth. I am your mother." She had balls I'll give her that much.

"Ugh! I told you at our graduation dinner that you stopped acting like a mother so I am not going to treat you as if you are!" I shouted at her and everyone in the room fell silent. I was so done with this. I started to pace back and forth across the living room pulling at my hair and muttering to myself. I probably looked like I was going crazy but I was gathering my thoughts.

"Bella, maybe you should sit…"

"No, Edward I am not sitting. I'm not going to fucking break," I barked and I instantly felt bad. "Sorry," I mumbled.

I took a deep breath and turned to Renee, I was going to end this now.

"Renee, I'm only going to tell you this once more. When you start acting as if you really give a shit about Emmett and me, I'll start treating you like a mother. But until then I don't really want you in my life. You hurt me and it is going to take a lot of work on your part to fix what you fucked up." I paused for just a moment and of course she still couldn't keep quite.

"You do realize your life is over now, right? I can't believe you would just throw your life away…"

"Really, you're going to stand there and try to lecture me again? This is my life I can chose to do whatever the fuck I want. I just found out hours ago that I'm pregnant. I haven't even had time to wrap my head around it. On top of that I'm sick and it could affect my children. I am scared out of my mind but there is not a way in this damn world that I would 'fix this' as you put it." I took a deep breath and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"The moment I saw the fuzzy image on that screen I fell in love with these babies. They're ours and we're keeping them," I said as Edward pulled me into him.

"Renee, I think its best you leave now. Bella has had enough stress for one day. It's not good for her or our babies," Edward said calmly.

"Bella I don't want this for you…"

"Renee you heard them. It's time for you to go. You have caused enough chaos, leave them be." Esme cut in as she ushered Renee out.

As soon as they were out of sight I buried my face in Edward's chest and cried.

"Shh, shh baby she's gone."

I didn't reply, I couldn't and there really was nothing to say. Edward knew how I felt about Renee, I didn't have to explain the pain I was in, he understood. That is why he did nothing but pull me to the sofa and held me as I cried. Every now and then I would feel him kiss my hair and he would whisper soothing words. The last thing I remember before my exhaustion took ahold was Edward whispering 'Sweet dreams, baby.' Then he kissed the tip of my nose.

##SM##

I woke up with a feeling of panic consuming me, the kind where you think you've slept in and you're going to be late for something. Looking around the room I couldn't tell where I was it was so dark. When I found the alarm clock next to the bed it said six-twenty I couldn't tell if that was AM or PM. The last thing I remember was falling asleep while Edward held me on the couch.

I sank back down into the pillows trying to gather my thoughts. My mind was a jumbled mess; it was as if I couldn't decide between being fearful or hopeful. There were so many things to think about, how I was going to handle school, would I stay here while everyone else went to Seattle. There was so much to consider and I needed to know what Edward was thinking.

As I let my mind wonder about all my choices, I remembered the dream I had had.

Edward and I were sitting in a living room somewhere smiling as we watched two little boys at least three years, playing with Legos. The boys looked like little Edward clones with their mess of reddish brown hair and bright green eyes. Edward took my hand and brought it to his lip to kiss my knuckles, that's when I noticed the large ring on my finger… we were married.

I wanted that, all of it the children and the marriage, I always had but I was hoping it would have been farther down the line.

All of a sudden I was nauseous. As quickly as I could, I ran to the door yanking it open and ran for the bathroom with my hand over my mouth. When I got to the door it was closed and locked so I knocked as hard as I could, thankfully it opened quickly. I rushed in nearly knocking Esme over and emptied my stomach.

"Oh Isabella," Esme sighed as she pulled my hair back from my face. She stayed right next to me the entire time, rubbing my back with one hand and holding my hair with the other. She whispered soothing words, telling me everything would be okay. Esme was being completely supportive, which was something I wished my mother could be.

After I was sure I was done I sank to my knees next to the tub and cried. It was like getting smacked in the face by reality really hard, and it stung. This was all real, I was pregnant. There were two little ones growing inside of me. I had thought that seeing that fuzzy image of those two little spots made it real, but it didn't, not really. It took throwing up my lunch for it to sink in.

"Bella, talk to me honey, tell me what you're thinking," Esme whispered sitting down next to me and pulling me in to a hug. That hug was what I needed; it was the motherly kind of love I had been lacking. I don't know why but I felt like telling her everything, how scared, happy, nervous, and hurt I was. So I opened my mouth and let her know what I was thinking.

"I'm scared…about everything. My ITP isn't gone and with me being…pregnant, it could hurt the babies…or me. I had thought that seeing the sonogram made everything real but it didn't, just now throwing my guts up made it real. I'm having twins…two babies. I don't know if I can do this, Esme. I don't know if I'm ready to be a mother. Oh, God, I'm going to be a mother…" The tears came faster as a new fear hits me.

"I…I don't want to be like her. Oh God, I don't want to be like her…" I sobbed at the thought of be anything like my mother.

"Bella honey, come on look at me." I looked up at her concerned green eyes and she smiled.

"Oh, my little Bella Bee," Esme crooned, I tried to smile at that but I couldn't. She used to call me Bella Bee when I was much younger. I was a rather hyper child, always 'buzzing around' as she used to say.

"You are going to be a mother and you're going to be a wonderful one. There is no one I know who would be able to handle the load you were just given, other than you." She took my face in her hands, wiping my tears away with her thumbs.

"Bella, it is going to be a hard road, that's for sure but I know that you will make it. You have to know you won't be doing this alone; we will all be there for you. Edward will be with you every step of the way, that is a given." She smiled a little brighter at that.

"That boy is so in love with you, just like you are with him."

I smiled at that, because I knew it was true. We love each other so much.

#SM#

After I talked with Esme I felt better, if only a little. I knew things were not going to feel really real for quite some time and I was just going to have to accept that.

I ran into Alice and Jasper in the living room and almost immediately Alice pounced on me.

"Bella is everything alright?" she asked. I didn't know what she knew and I didn't really want to tell her just yet, I wanted everyone together for that.

"Yeah, everything good Ali." I smiled as I thought about my little ones.

"Are you sure about that? Edward has been in Dad's office for about an hour and when I went up there Edward looked like he had been crying." She knew something was up but she didn't know what, and nothing pissed Alice off more than being left out.

"Alice I swear everything fine. You will find out soon enough, okay?" I said in the calmest voice possible trying to get her to drop it. I should have known better.

"Isabella, you're hiding something. Why won't anyone tell me anything? If something is wrong I deserve to know." My nerves were about shot and she was not helping whatsoever.

"I said you'll find out soon. I've had a fucking long and stressful day so, drop it Alice, Okay?" I huffed and flopped down onto the loveseat across from her and Jazz.

"But…" She started but stopped when Edward walked in.

"Alice she said drop it," Edward said walking over to me with his hand reaching out, I took it and he pulled me up and started walking out of the room dragging me behind him.

"Edward, what are you doing?" I asked. He looked back at me and gave me a tight smile and gave my hand a squeeze but otherwise didn't answer. I knew something was wrong and it scared me.

He led me up the stairs and into his bedroom. As soon as he closed the door he wrapped his arms around me tightly and just held me.

I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed his neck but stayed silent. He held me for a long time not speaking just holding but after a while I couldn't take it anymore, he was scaring me.

"Edward?"

"Huh?"

"Baby what's wrong?" I whispered.

"Nothing." He didn't even sound like he was convinced that nothing was wrong.

"Bullshit," I said pulling back from the hug to look at him. His beautiful green eyes were red rimmed and there were tears in them.

"Edward, talk to me."

He backed away and started pacing the length of the room like a caged lion. I had never seen him like that before; it freaked me out a little, if I was being honest. He walked over to his iPod dock, turning it on and then resumed his pacing. When I caught his eye I gave him a questioning look. He looked at the door and mouthed "Alice". I nodded my understanding and let him pace for a while, until again I couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Edward!" I shouted over Muse's Starlight that was blaring through the room. He stopped pacing and turned the music down enough so we didn't have to scream. When his eyes met mine the look on his face broke my heart, it was complete and utter fear.

"I just…I just wanted some time alone with you." He said in a broken whisper. "We haven't really had a chance to even…breathe," he let out a frustrated sigh. "Let alone talk to each other."

I walked to him smiling softly, I took his hand. "Then that's what we'll do," I said, pushing him toward the bed forcing him to sit. I straddled his lap placing my hands on the sides of his neck and kissed him softly.

"We can talk or we can just lie in bed, whatever you wanna do." I continued and kissed his viper bites as his hands settled on my hips.

"What are you thinking? Are you still going to go to school?" He asked, pulling back to look at me, I knew this was a distraction technique, I let it go for the time being but I would find out what was really on his mind.

"I want to but I don't know how realistic that is. My program is only about eight months so I think it would be doable. I need to talk to your dad, see what he thinks as far as my health goes and the babies. If he thinks it is too much of a risk… then I'll just stay here. I think I'd honestly feel better staying here closer to your dad," I said laying my head on his shoulder.

"Bella, if you wanna stay then we'll stay. I like the…" He started but I had to stop him, he was not giving up on college because of these babies or me.

"No, you need to go to Seattle, live with the guys have fun, and go to school. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean that you have to be stuck here in Forks."

"Bella," he sighed "If you're here then I'm here, plain and simple. You may be the one who's pregnant but it took both of us to make those babies. I would do anything for you Bella, anything," he said kissing my temple.

"Edward, I would feel so guilty if you gave up college, I couldn't live with myself," I whispered. It was true, I couldn't. There was no way I could live with myself if he gave up his dream for me.

"I wouldn't give it up forever, maybe just a year. I could even go to Port Angeles; they have a pretty good sound engineering program."

"Edward, I really don't…" I started but was cut off.

"No, will you just hear me out?" he asked scooting us to the head of the bed.

"Yes," I sighed.

"Okay, so say we stay and we don't go to Seattle with everyone else, I could get a job and start saving for when the babies get here, and like I said I could go to school in Port Angeles. We could get a place of our own, and I really do like the idea of staying here close to my dad. God forbid anything happen to you, I want to know you will be well taken care of." He seemed really excited about the whole idea and I couldn't deny that it sounded really good. I didn't think I could handle being three hours away from my dad or Esme and Carlisle while pregnant, it scared me too much. I wanted what Edward had said, especially the place of our own part and for once I was going to do what I wanted.

"Okay," I said smiling.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, I want that. I want to stay here in a place of our own and be close to our parents," I said still smiling. I could see it in my head so clearly, a little two bedroom apartment, one would be the nursery for our little ones. Just the thought alone was making me excited.

"Okay," he smiled brightly at me, "We'll stay." He confirmed and kissed me.

The kiss quickly changed from playful to something much more serious and passionate as the song changed to 'I Alone' by Live. Edward's hands moved from my hips to my ass pulling me tight against him. My arms went around his neck as I rolled my hips against his and he moaned into my mouth.

All of a sudden I was on my back and he was hovering over me, his face was so close to mine we were almost touching. I reach for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, I needed him now.

"I want you so bad right now," he whispered in my ear, his voice was deep, dripping with lust.

"Take me," I said, bucking my hips to emphasize what I meant. We both groaned as he thrust his hard arousal against me hitting just the right spot. Edward kissed my mouth hard before leaning back on his knees. He made quick work with the button and zipper of my jeans as I kicked my chucks off. I pulled my shirt over my head and he slowly pulled my jeans and boy shorts down and off.

Edward started at my ankle, kissing it softly and working his way up my leg until he reached the apex of my thighs. He looked up at me as if asking permission.

"Edward, you don't have to," I said shyly, truly embarrassed.

"I want to," was all he said before he laid and open mouthed kiss on my sex. My eyes rolled back in my head and my hands shot to his head holding him there. That was the first time he had ever gone down on me and it felt as if I was going to explode. I whimpered loudly as he sucked my clit into his mouth flicking it with his tongue. He continued to torture me with his mouth and his fingers until I came harder than ever before.

"Oh my God," I panted as he kissed my stomach and up to my breasts.

"Are you alright?" he asked unclasping the front of my bra.

"So much better then alright," I said with a giggle

"So you liked that, did ya?" he chuckled kissing my right breast then the left.

"Yes," I moaned as he flicked my nipple with his tongue. "But I know something… I'd…like more."

"Oh really, what would that be?" He asked with that sexy ass smirk firmly in place.

"This," I said wrapping my hand around his jean covered dick. He moaned loudly thrusting into my hand.

As fast as I could manage I pushed his jeans and boxers down as far as I could and he kicked them the rest of the way off. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him to me. Edward rested his arms by my head and kissed me as he slid into me. He started thrusting slowly into me, teasing me.

"Edward, faster please." I groaned as I pulled at his hair.

Soon he set a fast rhythm and I was meeting every one of his thrusts with my own.

"You…feel so…good," he panted into my neck as he set up on his knees bringing me with him. I was caught off guard by the change in position but quickly began to move up and down on him.

"Ed…ward, I'm… oh God…so close…ugh yes there…right there," I gasped as he hit my sweet spot.

He kissed me again sucking on my bottom lip moaning into my mouth. I gripped his shoulders tightly as he began to pound into me.

"Bella, I'm gonna come," he grunted.

"Me too," I moaned noisily as we both tipped over the edge.

As we laid there afterward, catching our breath I had a small moment of panic when I realize we didn't use a condom, but then I remembered we didn't need to.

"I love you," Edward whispered, curling himself around me.

"And I love you, so much," I whispered back, kissing his neck.

#SM#

Dinner was awkward to say the least, downright painful. It was as if there was a big pink elephant standing on the table and everyone was trying hard not to mention it. My dad, who I was surprised to see there, was as white as a ghost and could hardly look at me. Then there was Alice who had a permanent scowl on her face, she didn't even crack a smile when Esme said something about shopping. Rose, Em and Jasper looked a little confused but they didn't seem too worried. Esme and Carlisle, God love them, tried to keep conversation flowing but it didn't really work.

They started talking about next week when we were supposed to go look at apartments and get anything we might need for them. It would have bothered me if Edward and I hadn't had our talk earlier. Now I was just excited about finding a place here in town. I was a little sad that I wouldn't be going to Le Cordon Bleu, especially after all the waiting to see if I got in, but I could always go down the road later.

Towards the end of dinner I saw Alice start to get fidgety, she kept looking at everyone with narrowed eyes and she didn't say a word. I knew she was going to blow at any minute, and she did just that. As Esme got up to go get dessert Alice lost it.

"Alright I can't take it anymore! Will someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?" she shrieked pushing her plate away.

"Mary Alice Cullen, watch your mouth," Esme scolded.

"Sorry…ugh it's just I know something is up and don't you dare try to tell me there's not. You five have been acting fucking fishy since we sat down," She said pointing at Edward, me and our parents. "And earlier in Dad's office Ed looked like he had been crying. I also heard Bells in the hallway bathroom puking her guts out and crying. So if one of you would kindly tell me what is going on before I go crazy with worry, I'd appreciate it." She ended her rant with a huge sigh.

Then all eyes were on me. Great, no pressure guys, I thought. I looked up at Edward for something, encouragement or reassurance I wasn't sure. He smiled and squeezed my knee telling me he was there with me, we were together in this.

"Okay," I said more to myself than anyone else.

"Well you all know I had my appointment today," I paused and they nodded. "Well after my treatment we went up to see Carlisle to go over my counts and see if I'm getting any better. I am, getting better but he did find something else in the blood work they no one expected." I stopped taking a deep breath.

"He…well he told me that I'm…I'm pregnant."

Alice gasped, her eyes as large as saucers looking back and forth between me, Edward and Carlisle. Rose and Jasper were staring at Edward, although both had a different expression, Jasper looked concerned and Rose looked pissed. Rose opened her mouth as if to say something.

"There's more and I need to get it all out now, okay?" I said stopping her.

"Carlisle then sent us to Dr. Kelley to check for sure and to make sure everything was fine. Dr. Kelley confirmed that I am indeed pregnant. To be exact I'm about five weeks along with twins." I couldn't help the smile that spread over my face as I told them the last part.

"Carlisle, is her condition going to affect her pregnancy? I know twins are high risk; Renee had a terrible time with Bells and Em. Is she going to be alright?" My dad asked quickly, he looked scared out of his mind. I had only seen him look like that once before, the day I found out about my ITP.

"Charlie, there is no way to know for sure, but her platelet count is really good right now which is a very good thing. We just have to monitor her more closely. There is a slight risk the babies could be affected by the ITP but we really won't know until after they are born." Carlisle said slipping easily into doctor mode.

"Okay," dad said gruffly.

"Daddy, I'm gonna be okay. Carlisle won't let anything happen to me or the babies," I whispered to him as I put my arm around his shoulder.

"I know I'm just scared for you baby girl. This is a lot to take on at your age." He hugged me back

"I know but I'll be okay. Edward with be with me every step of the way." He kissed my head and turned back to Carlisle while I looked at my friends.

"So, I'm gonna be an Aunt? This is awesome; I can't wait to buy them clothes and toys. Twins, I wonder if you're having two boys or two girls, oh maybe one of each," Alice rattled off, barely taking a breath.

"Alice breathe, I still have about seven or eight months to go." I laughed.

"We also have one other thing to tell you." Edward interrupted; I narrowed my eyes at him.

What is he talking about? I wondered.

"We have discussed this and we both think it is a good idea to stay in Forks. We both want to be close to our parents through the pregnancy. I really want to stay so I know Bell and the babies will be well taken care of." He pulled me into his side and kissed my temple.

And we waited for everyone's reaction.

* * *

AN- I'm am complete FAIL! I know I know. Life is Crazy. Thank for hanging with me if you're still here. I'll try to be faster but I make no promises.

Angel Thanks SO MUCH for being and awesome friend and Beta.

Alrighty let me know what you think and I'll try giving teasers for the next one.

Meg :D


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